When will people learn we all ultimately come from the same source, no matter what you believe in cr

this is a rant post, so I feel free to do so. First of all I am of mixed race. My father is anglo, with irish heritage, and my mother is of Mexican immigrant. My mother is third generation us citizen now, so that makes me fourth( half of me haha).My husband is of spaniard descent we are very proud of all our heritage that make our children and ourselves who we are today. I am educated, but hae chosen to stay home with my children while they are young.o My husband had a job making 120,000 a year. We are living well, tax paying, and do give to charity when we can. He was recently unemployed and it has been six weeks since his last job. Naturally we have both seeked employment due to our sitiuation and have not been lucky yet. My husband is a very hardworking man, and has started doing very hard physical labor at a ranch of a white friend of ours. Our friend is not racist. Just want to point the obvious out. we need to eat so we are doing what we need to with honest hard work. But his father came by , also a lovely man, with an older white male. The other man (dont know who he is)started calling my husband "son" in a derogitory way and started issuing orders although he has nothihng to do with this ranch. Now we are not people who call out the race card for eerything, but this was clearly implied that he felt my husband a hispanic Im angry and hurt and upset, thank you for listening.

I don't originate from this planet.

no matter where your from, shouldnt we all practice tolerance, acceptance and just general respect? if we cant do that as a human race what hope is there for any interplanetary peace?

reply to post by stonebutterfly


Dear stonebutterfly,

Sorry for your husband's experience. I am in love with a girl that is half Mexican and half Irish. I am Irish and very white. I have three colors, red (when I see the sun, burn immediately), white (when no sun) and blue (when it is cold). I like colors and I like variation. Variation is intimidating to some, they fear differences. The problem is them and not the differences.

I have had people tell me that they don't like to see white people date black people, I tell them that they probably shouldn't date blacks and they shouldn't worry about what others do. Most often it is people who claim to believe in freedom. I don't like their comments; but, I am not God and believe in free will. I pray they learn to stop being jerks; but, I want them to learn and that can take time.

Clearly your husband is smart and hard working. If he made six figures my money is on him getting through this, he will use the same skills that got him six figures and being sensitive isn't one of them. He had to be firm in his job and competent. Have faith that he can handle garbage and learn from it. I am not in anyway saying what happened was right or good, I am saying your husband can take a lot, it will be easier if he knows you see it and care. That will strengthen him more than you can imagine, support is everything. I cannot imagine that you would have ranted if you didn't care about him, let him know it, let him take the hits, it will create joy in him knowing that you are rooting for him, I didn't have that in my marriage. I made six figures and it made my wife feel jealous. She focused on her rather than on us, doesn't sound like that is your problem, focus on you two, care and love him, that is more reward than he can imagine. He is probably afraid that you are disappointed in him because he no longer has the job he had.

I regret to say that you are not alone in your experience. Many fine, hardworking people have lost their jobs. I am sorry; but, for men that were raised to believe that taking care of your family was everything, these are hard times. They may have done all the right things and now are having to start over. I am in that situation, I still make the money; but, I don't get to keep any of it (divorce, pay cut, taxes...). I don't worry about such things, I think about my family.

If I may make a suggestion, people will continue to be jerks, make your husband smile because he will face jerks. If he knows how you feel and how suffer for him then what he endures will not be painful it will be joyful because he knows his wife appreciates his efforts. This may sound crazy and I understand that; but, I tell you the truth. His satisfaction level is based on how much he knows you appreciate him, that is why he took a lesser job, the didn't want to disappoint you, or at least that is the most common reason.

My life came apart a couple of years ago. I lost most of my relatives and friends over two three years on a monthly basis. I turned to my then wife and told her that I thought I was going to lose my mind and she told me it was my problem and to deal with it after being together 25 years, I came apart almost. If she had said that she would be there with me and help me through it, there would have been a completely different situation. Now we are divorced, she decided the answer was to cheat on me and divorce me. In the end, everyone lost except me.

You married a man who went on to earn six figures, you knew who he was, he is not less now. Let him know that you know that and you will have some really good sex and make for a very happy hubby no matter what the world throws at him. We men, real men. love knowing that we have made our partners happy and cannot imagine that they would care about us being hurt, we try and hide it to prove we are tough and don't need support so that you can enjoy life.

I do hope that my words were helpful and that I didn't misunderstand what you said. If I did then I apologize. If I did understand then hope my words help, In either case, I am so very sorry that your husband had to hear such garbage, the words of the ignorant are just that and some people grow up slowly. In the end we are all just self aware beings trying to figure out the best way to make it through life and when we get support the journey is easier. Be well and I will pray for you and your husband.

reply to post by AQuestion


Thank you for that, that really made me feel good. I am more than happy to support, because i was with him before he made any money. He was very poor and so was I when we met, and Ive thanked him eveyday day for taking care of us no matter if it was a low wage or a high one.We actually have had to eat wild game for food during our first years! and he trapped a hog for me again, and it was good bbq! He has taken alot of crap from people, i think im more sensitive. I hope one day youll find that one that stands through hell fire and streets of gold for you.

Originally posted by stonebutterfly
reply to post by AQuestion

 

Thank you for that, that really made me feel good. I am more than happy to support, because i was with him before he made any money. He was very poor and so was I when we met, and Ive thanked him eveyday day for taking care of us no matter if it was a low wage or a high one.We actually have had to eat wild game for food during our first years! and he trapped a hog for me again, and it was good bbq! He has taken alot of crap from people, i think im more sensitive. I hope one day youll find that one that stands through hell fire and streets of gold for you.

Oh dear lady,

In my heart I knew you were there before he made it big. When I read your words I knew you were his one and he was your one, you are so blessed. He is too and he knows it. I will find my love, I did a long time ago and I will again. I wanted you to know how he feels, I don't understand women and women don't understand men, that is okay, we understand joy and when our partners have it. Your feelings and words were so powerful, I ask you to let him read them, he will be a monster after, he will feel empowered to take it all on and not feel hurt. We are funny things, us real men. We feel the best when we know the love of our life respects us and appreciates our toil. The bible says men will toil and women will have pain in birth, freaks us out that you can have babies and live through it, I don't want to know that pain.

In the end it is not about what we have, heck, we lived in caves at one time and we still had the same emotions. It is about relationships and the love of our life is our measuring stick, not the world. Does the love of our life know that we are doing it for them and do they know that is how much we love them. You know it because you pain for him when he has trials, he knows it because you comfort him and recognize his trials and the he is happy to do it because he cares about you. This may sound chauvenistic to some; but, it is history for the world. Men like women and want women to appreciate them, women like men and want men to show them that they care about them, sounds like your husband is a man and you are a women that care. That is a pretty good combination. You will be fine and so will he, you care about each other that is all we can ask for. Be well.