reply to post by stonebutterfly
Sorry for your husband's experience. I am in love with a girl that is half Mexican and half Irish. I am Irish and very white. I have three colors,
red (when I see the sun, burn immediately), white (when no sun) and blue (when it is cold). I like colors and I like variation. Variation is
intimidating to some, they fear differences. The problem is them and not the differences.
I have had people tell me that they don't like to see white people date black people, I tell them that they probably shouldn't date blacks and they
shouldn't worry about what others do. Most often it is people who claim to believe in freedom. I don't like their comments; but, I am not God and
believe in free will. I pray they learn to stop being jerks; but, I want them to learn and that can take time.
Clearly your husband is smart and hard working. If he made six figures my money is on him getting through this, he will use the same skills that got
him six figures and being sensitive isn't one of them. He had to be firm in his job and competent. Have faith that he can handle garbage and learn
from it. I am not in anyway saying what happened was right or good, I am saying your husband can take a lot, it will be easier if he knows you see it
and care. That will strengthen him more than you can imagine, support is everything. I cannot imagine that you would have ranted if you didn't care
about him, let him know it, let him take the hits, it will create joy in him knowing that you are rooting for him, I didn't have that in my marriage.
I made six figures and it made my wife feel jealous. She focused on her rather than on us, doesn't sound like that is your problem, focus on you two,
care and love him, that is more reward than he can imagine. He is probably afraid that you are disappointed in him because he no longer has the job he
I regret to say that you are not alone in your experience. Many fine, hardworking people have lost their jobs. I am sorry; but, for men that were
raised to believe that taking care of your family was everything, these are hard times. They may have done all the right things and now are having to
start over. I am in that situation, I still make the money; but, I don't get to keep any of it (divorce, pay cut, taxes...). I don't worry about
such things, I think about my family.
If I may make a suggestion, people will continue to be jerks, make your husband smile because he will face jerks. If he knows how you feel and how
suffer for him then what he endures will not be painful it will be joyful because he knows his wife appreciates his efforts. This may sound crazy and
I understand that; but, I tell you the truth. His satisfaction level is based on how much he knows you appreciate him, that is why he took a lesser
job, the didn't want to disappoint you, or at least that is the most common reason.
My life came apart a couple of years ago. I lost most of my relatives and friends over two three years on a monthly basis. I turned to my then wife
and told her that I thought I was going to lose my mind and she told me it was my problem and to deal with it after being together 25 years, I came
apart almost. If she had said that she would be there with me and help me through it, there would have been a completely different situation. Now we
are divorced, she decided the answer was to cheat on me and divorce me. In the end, everyone lost except me.
You married a man who went on to earn six figures, you knew who he was, he is not less now. Let him know that you know that and you will have some
really good sex and make for a very happy hubby no matter what the world throws at him. We men, real men. love knowing that we have made our partners
happy and cannot imagine that they would care about us being hurt, we try and hide it to prove we are tough and don't need support so that you can
I do hope that my words were helpful and that I didn't misunderstand what you said. If I did then I apologize. If I did understand then hope my words
help, In either case, I am so very sorry that your husband had to hear such garbage, the words of the ignorant are just that and some people grow up
slowly. In the end we are all just self aware beings trying to figure out the best way to make it through life and when we get support the journey is
easier. Be well and I will pray for you and your husband.