Do I have a negative spirit attached to me? Please help.

reply to post by starhill


Hi Starhill -- Great to hear from you!

Sorry to hear of your "misfortunes"...but, if they didn't so nearly resemble my own, I would not have read past the first couple of lines.

To be forthcoming and honest about my experience, however, I will say that it probably began with a couple of encounters with Salvia Divinorum...which, if you are not familiar, is a "psychotropic" that has historically been used by shamans in the Central Americas and/or South America (at least).

For deeper insight into my psychological state...I had been a Christian (even wearing the badge of associate pastor for a while) until almost two years prior to the experience...when in dramatic fashion, I discarded the lifelong belief system, while "alone" in the desert for almost two weeks.
(...I have no desire to debate the merits of Christianity or the Bible or anything thus related…)

4 months into the experience, I was not certain if what I was entering, was "a delusion", or reality...and even questioned in a journal if - once fully submerged in delusion...is it possible to ever fully recover.

My family called the Sheriff's department… I was visited by a deputy (psych-type)...who recommended that I be transported to the hospital for evaluation… (Note that I believed everything that was happening was part of a bigger-master plan...and everyone from the Deputy, to the police officers who transported me to the hospital...to the psychologist/s and nurses and security personnel - were "in on it".) ...They let me go, the same night.

Three and a half years have passed, and I don't think I will ever be entirely free of the delusion/s.
I still have the physiological manifestations [yours were in the head area - mine began in the neck & shoulders, then right foot (still very prevalent), then hands, chest, head, left foot...and on], though not as intensely as the first couple of years.

I quit my job, three months in...and did not believe I would ever work (or, be able to) again…
Six months later, I began working again… Another 5 months found me back in the delusion...much worse than before...and I was out of work for another 8 months.
And, while it remains a challenge (to get through a day surrounded by others), I have been working (apparently with some degree of effectiveness) for almost two years.

My experience involved a number of "magical" manifestations (for lack of a better, brief, description)...some, of which, I continue to experience (though not as intensely or pervasively).
My experience included the "god" delusion (yours was a Mother Goddess, mine was everything from The Sun to Jesus to the Devil...to someone the Devil could look down on)...and, again - no manner or scope of reasoning can entirely expunge the belief/s.
My experience included the detestable "thoughts" (as yours)...and more.

And after three+ years of this, I cannot say that "I know" if it is "another spirit" that has attached to me...or if it is simply my own "alter-ego"...or...what.
Of course I have also questioned the "multiple-personality-disorder" possibility -- BUT -- and please note this -- the abilities, and ability to respond/react to my thoughts borders on "supernatural"...which, by definition, kinda rules out a second personality (of mine).

If I have learned/gained anything from this...it is a lesser estimation of my own importance/stature.
If you are finding relief in the Bible, or in Church, or in the company/fellowship of friends or "believers"...that is probably where you will need to remain...at least long enough to regain some confidence in your own ability to "survive" and/or "cope with" this.

Whatever the case - I sincerely hope you come through this stronger, wiser and with greater equilibrium than you might have once dreamed possible.

reply to post by starhill


I guess you didn't even look at what I posted for you. Very sad.

Sounds like a pretty typical case of going bonkers to me. There isn't really anything that points to some possession... I would find myself a hobby if I were you to get your mind off things.

I believe it is very hard to eradicate possessing spirits.

If you don´t pursue anything in life and just stays a good person I have a feeling the spirit will be exhausted finally and leave you. It wants your essences and if you ask for information it will give you info and at the same time take your essences. That is why people with this problem can become very sick after a few years since all their energy is lost to the spirit. So be very careful about your actions and pursuits.

Another thing(the best I believe) is that you read the book Zhuan Falun in my signature below. Even if you can not cultivate your self just reading that book is going to help you. TYhere is a reason 100 million people read the book in China in 7 years before th ecommunists banned it and started persecuting all practitioners.

Then I recommend reciting Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good, Falun Dafa is good when times are difficult.

No guarantee that the spirit will disappear though.

Just my two cents, no truth offered whatsoever.

I read your post and it clicked with some information which I was reading today. It is from the website:

www.spiritualcompetency.com...

In the DSM-IV Religious and Spiritual Problems there is a section which states under Lesson 3.1 - Possession
this information

Spiritual Possession

Whether or not this information helps, I hope you find the help you are seeking and if you need to talk to someone privately, please feel free to message me.

I just want to thank everyone who has responded to this thread. I am very grateful for the time and thought everyone has put into their responses trying to help me or share their own stories that are similar. I would like to respond to as many comments as I can but it may take me a while. But I have read every single comment here and the messages that have been sent to me in private as well.

reply to post by AnimositisominA

AnimositisominA, I would like you to know that I have looked at your link and what many other people have recommended as well. As for this ritual described in the link, I'm too nervous to try doing it for several reasons.

I have an extremely hard time holding visual images in my head for very long, which is one of the most difficult things I have had to deal with since I am an artist and love to use my imagination. But I have felt energy-reversals trying this sort of thing, as in feeling really good one minute to feeling sick with fear from my mind warping the visualization.

The other problem with this that I have is that I do not understand much of what the ritual calls for well enough to fully place my faith in it.

I'm sorry if that is disappointing but I do appreciate still your efforts in trying to help me and for your advice.

reply to post by starhill


I understand where you are coming from and have gone through and are struggling with. I will be praying for you, friend. Keep up the good work. You've been very brave. Focus on the good and leave the bad out. Jesus loves you and is more powerful than these demonic forces in your life.

I have struggled with a similar situation and put my faith and hope in God above.

Don't give in to the illness.

The sun comes up in the morning and it goes down at night and up comes the moon. It's that simple.

reply to post by starhill


I will start by telling you, I have mental health issues, along with a more than reasonable knowledge of same and I am also in the early stages of learning mediumship. So I do know a fair amount about what you are experiencing.

I would be highly shocked if any spirit was attached to you, I feel that because of your particular problems, your subconcious has focused upon the spirit realm, as in this day and age, that is almost easier to understand, discuss and gain support with, than mental health problems.

Although meds will not help with all your symptoms, if you can find something that dulls them, that will put you in a position where a therapist can help you.

Do take care of yourself, don't mess with the occult while your head is wobbling, its not helpful in the long run

take care x

I believe you are being harrassed by an evil spirit. One thing you could try is to buy the New Testament on tape or cd or whatever they are using out there these days and play it as you are going to sleep. Paul says in the book of Phillipians to think on thinks that are pure, worthy, noble, true, basically anything that is positive. The other thing he says in 2Chorinthians chapter 10 not sure of the exact verse, that we are to take our thoughts captive. I get disturbing thoughts as you do at times and that is what I do. It works. I will pray for you that the Lord sends the right person across you path to help you with these things and to tell you and show you what to do. He will. Jesus came to set the captives free. Hang in there.

reply to post by starhill


Starhill,

I really am worried about you tarot cards/divining is the worship of demons. It was forbidden in the bible and in ancient Isreal, and for good reasons. They can open you up to hostile forces that you can not understand, and manipulate and lie to you. The only way to prevent this is to stop divining and practicing tarot cards. I hope that you can get out of these unclean practices. The bible has many truths, and we are involved in a war.

Ephesians 6
11 Put on the complete suit of armor from God that YOU may be able to stand firm against the machinations of the Devil; 12 because we have a wrestling, not against blood and flesh, but against the governments, against the authorities, against the world rulers of this darkness, against the wicked spirit forces in the heavenly places.

I am pleased you want to receive an understanding of God and his ways. Here is a link so that you can come to understand bible truth.

watch002.securesites.net...

They will no doubt be glad to sit down with you and explain it to you. I wish peace be with you, and I will pray for you!

Originally posted by starhill
reply to post by auraelium

 

That is helpful. I usually call out to Jesus for protection, I have found this very effective in calming myself when I am afraid or feeling overwhelmed. What would you say the difference is in calling Archangel Michael rather than Jesus?

Starhill,

Jesus has many names, The Word, Price of Peace, Micheal (Means, one who is like God), just to name a few.

To "StarHill":

First of all, I'm glad you're feeling better now. I can actually tell from what you've been writing that there's still a lot of good transformations that will help you become what you want. I am certain of that!

I'm not sure where you live but spring is here There's plenty of great stuff you can do for a whole year from now!

I am familiar with what you went through The best thing you could do now is enjoy yourself and relax and prepare for a lot of positive transformation.

Get out when it's sunny outside, go buy some seeds (or use natural seeds in apples, pomegranates, watermellons, etc..), plant them outside, make a garden. You said you're a musician, play music and learn to record and edit on your computer. I'm sure you get what I mean! FEED your positive transformation with these sorts of things, everytime you do something "enlightening" you will instantly feel better.

Best of all, excersice! Find any sport you like, go to the gym and read up about dieting, there's a lot of secrets to learn about food and excersice..

I see a lot of great things coming your way, just from the way you write

May peace be upon you!

Starhill, from one Christian to another, I would stick only to Christian remedies. Doing a pentagram exercise or anything else that is off the norm could worsen the situation. You opened all the doors and windows very wide and things got in and are now pestering and harrassing you. That's their job, it's what they do.

I lived through a 3.5 hour screaming exorcism by an experienced priest on the front pew of a Catholic Church three years ago so I speak from experience along with all the research I've done around it. I was raised Catholic, but pretty much only continued to be Christian. When I started hearing voices in my head that I knew were not my own, and after feeling a terrible living entity in me, I realized how serious the situation was and I knew, as you should, that the only person who could help me was a priest. Basically, there are two different types of harrassment, possession and oppression; possession being the more extreme where you do not have control over your faculties. You are being oppressed as I was, not possessed. I would bet that you are not bi-polar - you're just being horribly tormented. I understand completely. If you want to PM with your personal email address until I get 20 posts, we can communicate better.

I believe I first opened the door when I allowed a guy to give me a tarot card reading. Things went downhill from there and I won't go into much detail. But I went on opening doors and windows with occult practices like you did thinking I was becoming more spiritual. I was only letting more and more demons in. I don't know what country you're in but I STRONGLY suggest you get online and google an exorcist. Go with the Catholics, they are more highly trained at this. There is nothing wrong with you, you are not bad or evil. You need to get rid of them and change your life. You need to stay under Jesus' wing. Whatever bad habits you have, you need to stop them now. They only weaken you.

Truth is, you need an exorcism. Find out what diocese you're in and they should have their specific exorcist for that area. Meanwhile read the Bible OUT LOUD as often as you can and google prayer for deliverance. The spoken word (and Word) is very powerful. Read the Psalms out loud and when you see the word "Selah" say that as well very loud. I don't know why but it is a very powerful word after the verses and it had a great affect. They can make quite a show leaving you so allow that to happen. And it is VERY important - - when you feel them leaving you, think of Jesus or Mother Mary - that helps them leave faster. Every single liquid or solid you put in your mouth, ask for it to be blessed by Jesus and it will.

I am willing to help you as much as you need, whether by email or phone if necessary. But you need to find a priest for an exorcism. I cannot stress this enough. You have gone on way too long to tolerate this. I went through it for about three weeks and that's more than enough. And yes, I ended up in a mental hospital on a voluntary basis for a couple weeks. Only one counselor was able to truly help me - he was a Christian and understood that I was attacked. All the other psychiatrists there insisted I get a brain scan. pfft. Well, I was 'cured' they all left and I am a stronger person and Christian for it. Thank goodness the therapist I was ordered to see was a Christian.

It is so sad that people do not know what darkness they live in when they do not let the light of Jesus in. Until then, you ARE bound in darkness and you can't see the forest for the trees. I hope that everyone who reads this will open their hearts to him.

You definitely have a demon attached to you from your past of dabbling in the occult. The thoughts that you have aren't your own, and you know they aren't your own. I've had a taste of this once, it can be very startling. I suggest you continue to pray and read the Bible. Pray and ask Jesus to get rid of this demon (or demons). As a matter of fact, since you're a believer you could cast it out yourself. A very important step, highly important, is to confess your sins of dabbling to God for forgiveness.

When you have unconfessed sins, especially of the occult nature, demons have a lot of ground to still do as they please. Leave no sin unconfessed, cast out these demons, and you will have your life back again. Now, in some cases, demonic activity may pick up for a bit once you start doing this, but it wont last. Just keep going.

And just to get this out of the way, you do not need an exorcism. If you can read the Bible fine and pray, you dont need one. You are not totally taken over. Doing what I suggested is definitely enough to be normal again. But I do agree with the poster that said DO NOT mess with anything occultic again. Using a pentagram is just asking for problems to get worse, maybe even an extra demon or two (or more) to come into your life.

If you want to talk privately, you can add me on an IM. Just PM me your info if you wish to do so.

No point in posting Christian solutions as i can tell you , i feel it from here. She doesnt want Chrisitanity

I am a Christian myself , but i can tell you , i feel it from here , she isnt looking for Chrisitan solutions so , no point in typing away. She has heard it a thousand times

Also , Light Rider she doesnt need an Exorcism lol

reply to post by starhill


Hi StarHill, many of the things you describe I have experienced first hand and some friends of mine as well. I would like to contact you if possible asap! I think I can help finally give you some answers and incite. Please contact when you get a chance through my email [email protected]

reply to post by starhill


I believe the barriers are thinning between dimensions and or realms. It is becoming easier for one side to interact with the other and people are having more paranormal experiences. I certainly have.I never believed in possession until about a month before the death of my husband I had an experience that shook me to my core.I never ever want to come into contact with something like that again!! I also believe that the weakening of the magnetic shield ,pole reversal and just the general instability of the energy field is making some of us more susceptible to this kind of attack. I have had an energy clearing once. I dont know if Id recommend it as I felt like a limp noodle afterwards and felt bereft of everything. I think that negative and positive balance each other and we need both to be whole. But it might behoove you to look into acupuncture.or one of the asian ways of healing and balancing the mind. Hope this helps Remember, You are not alone. Take Care, Chardonnay

reply to post by chardonnay


would love to hear more, if you feel comfortable enough to share with us.

reply to post by starhill


You have been getting lots of replies. I hope you are open to one more. I know its long, it took me a long time to write.

First off I am not totally square to all of this stuff, I have experimented with hallucinogenic drugs, read into the occult a lot, and been a member of groups of people who are very into the occult. I find it all very fascinating. This post will upset a lot of people on this forum, but I think it is exactly what you need to hear.

Very often the occult attracts insane, mentally unstable people. You could say there are two types of people that get into the occult in modern day, one is the philosophically inclined person interested in ecclectic studies of other cultures and alternative models of reality. This first type enjoys thought experiments of mysticism and pondering metaphysics, but they keep themselves protected from buying too much into it all with a firm layer of agnosticism about everything they encounter, even their own personal experiences. The other type of personality that comes into occult studies is already somewhat unstable, and sortof tumbling down a rabbit hole. When you meet someone of the first type, they will often speak of how hard it is to find a group of peers to study with, because there are SO MANY unstable personality types are always flooding these social circles.

You sound like a very good person, and it saddens me to hear you talk the way you do because you sound like you are in a lot of pain and you genuinely want to heal yourself. But I am going to give you some unsugar-coated tough love. The fact is that to the average person, the things you are saying and describing make you sound absolutely schizophrenic. I don't say this to be mean, but to give you a reality check. You have chemical imbalances in your brain to begin with. This makes you predisposed to be in the second type of people, whom reading into the occult poses a serious danger to your mental health. You began as an unstable OCD possibly bipolar disorder, and your pursuit of the occult has filled your imagination with knots of confusion and garbage that your brain is desperately trying to make sense of. You have lost your healthy skeptical agnosticism about it all which should be protecting you from many the insane ideas of the things you read and hear from people.

In being so blunt and telling you that in fact, YES, you ARE imagining these negative influences, I run a huge risk of pushing you away and making you ignore everything I say. Because in my experience many people I have met in your exact situation simply want desperately to find others who will validate the experiences they have had, the way their confused mind has chosen to interpret them. But you sound like you are right on the verge of healing yourself and being able to accept that this is all in your head, which is the first step towards putting it behind you.

You are asking for advice on this forum because you are looking for people who will understand where you are coming from and not judge you, perhaps the way you percieve I am. But often unstable people are drawn to other unstable people and they validate each other and keep each other from moving on. I signed up for ATS just now, for you, because I feel for you in your confusion and desire to heal yourself, and I feel that so much of these three pages of replies are doing you so much more harm than good. I don't want to say that these replies are from bad people and I don't want to insult them, because I'm sure they are well intended, but many repliers are the types of people who, to put it mildly, are toying with their own grip on reality and have no business trying to give you advice. Specifically, ignore posts of people telling you to do banishing rituals, that in itself is an action to symbolically protect you from a hallucinated danger, and is actually a validation of OCD. "I wont feel protected from my delusions without repeating a ritual over and over". That is the very definition of OCD. Ignore the people trying to go on about other dimensions and other planes of reality. That is so far from anything helpful, they are just as lost as you are and are just offering you new paths of schizophrenia to go out on. Ignore the posts like "yes its a demon, and its stronger than you so dont try to fight it". That is TERRIBLE programing for your brain. Your brain IS in control. This is the key: Your brain IS operating PERFECTLY -- trying to act in the most beneficial way it can figure out BASED ON THE MODEL OF REALITY YOU HAVE GIVEN IT. The problem is that your model of reality has been polluted for years by occult study without the protection of agnosticism. You need GROUNDING, back to the physical world.

Normally, I would never give someone the advice to go with the flow of everyone else and do what they do, it's good to be an individual, but the extreme form of being an individual with a model too different from everyone else is schizophrenia which you are describing in yourself to a tee. The hallucinations of trees with human traits, trouble holding on to your identity, etc, and especially seeing yourself as especially important in the scheme of the universe. All insanity is in some form or other an attempt for an individual in an incomprehensibly more massive universe to feel special or elevated amongst the rest of the people in the world, to think they have magical powers, to think they are a "chosen one", to believe they can channel, or they are a mother goddess or whatever.

I feel like I am betraying many of my occult interests and friends by saying this, but all occultism is some form of (hopefully) controlled insanity. At this point, you need to need to program yourself back into a reality where there is no magick. Argument about whether magic/occultism is or isn't "true" is beyond the scope of whats important. Whats important is the programming that you feed your unconscious mind. In your situation, you need materialistic programming to bring you back from the confusion your mind is manifesting based on its current programming. You need to start to envision yourself in a world where there are no demons or angels. Magical powers do not exist. All "psychics" are (occasionally well meaning) frauds. There is no reincarnation (from ETs or otherwise). There are no "magical negative influences". Dont try to "fight" the negative influence, that just keeps validating that it is real, instead FORGET the negative influence, let those conceptual nodes in your brain fade away over time by changing the focus of your attention to other subjects. LOSE INTEREST in the IDEA of the negative influence (or bad luck) as an explanation for your confusion. The explanation is that you have polluted your model of reality with tons of conflicting occult ideas without being appropriately skeptical about them at first, or having kept a safe agnostic distance. And now your brain is doing its best to make sense of conflicting information.

Rather than, magic, influences, etc, think that all there is, is your unconscious/subconscious mind. As Robert Anton Wilson said "What the thinker thinks, the prover proves". Whatever your model of reality thinks, another part of your brain will go to work gathering evidence in your interpretation of events you observe to prove that model. When you think you have some negative influence targeting you, your unconscious mind will find evidence for this in your daily life. When you think you have magical powers, your brain will find evidence for them. When you think you are a reincarnated ET, your subconscious will prove this to you by offering corroborating interpretations of things you observe which validate that perspective.

I don't want to say that all study of the occult is bad, because I myself find it fascinating, but you MUST keep some healthy agnosticism about it. When a person begins to get so into the occult that they lose their agnosticism for certainty about entities and influences and magick, then problems are on the horizon for them.


It worries me that you are seeking help in the Bible, not because the bible is inherently bad or that it cant help some people, but from your particular position, you have to realize that the bible IS occultism. Its just more of the same. Its just the particular brand of occultism that your culture deems acceptable. If you get to into reading the bible then you run the risk of the exact same thing happening to you again, and you could fall into religious zealotry. You need grounding in material reality. For some people, spiritual studies can help you feel like you have found a center, for others, often for those who aren't so stable in the first place, spiritual studies are a breeding ground for complexes and paranoia, providing fuel and validation for hallucinations. Religion, spirituality, mysticism, occultism, its all part of the same thing -- a system of programming your brain. That's why occultism is dangerous for some people because you are essentially opening your mental gearbox and tinkering with things, if you are not careful you will end up programming your brain with a bunch of conflicting garbage and you lose your grip on reality. Now that I said that, DO NOT get all worried about how do I reprogram myself back to normal, your brain will do this automatically IF you get yourself back into mundane activities. Get a job.

It sounds like I am telling you to just become an atheist, and in a sense I am. But understand I am not just promoting atheism as the solution to everyone's problems. I am more specifically saying that FOR YOU, right now, the mental program of atheism is the antidote you need for your confusion, to help you back into a more functional reality.

Most of us have boring lives where we feel trapped in the mundane, and so we seek out fantasies of magic and demons, or even more common, God on Sunday. You have gone too far to the other side. What you need to do is first think (so the prover will prove it) that you have the power to heal yourself and to move on from this time in your life. Your brain is trying to operate in the reality model you have given it, and what you need to do is start giving it richer more grounded models to take over. Watch documentaries on the discovery channel. Since you are attracted to the occult you obviously like the feeling of having your mind blown, I might suggest documentaries on astronomy and space. Keep feeding your mind information from a scientifically grounded perspective until scientific modes of thought, not mysticism/occultism, begins to take the dominant role in your model of reality. Ground yourself in science and materialism, I dont mean buy lots of stuff, but study physics and biology, rather than magic and the bible. Submerge yourself back into the mundane of every day life. See your identity as that of a normal sane person, ie don't think of yourself as crazy, and get normal hobbies. Let some time pass while you are submerged in the mundane, and these symptoms, such as paranoia about negative influences will start to become memories off a previous time in your life that you are glad is over. All those painful embarrassing memories will become stories from a long time ago when you were in a bad place.

As far as seeking therapy, I'm not big on therapy usually, at least not weekly sessions which are a ripoff, but I think you should find a psychologist who will simply check back with you every now and then to see how you are doing as you pursue mundane hobbies and rebuild your model back to one which is more grounded in everyday mundane concerns.

It sounds like you are already on the right track avoiding the occult subjects that originally put you down this rabbit hole. Remember that you have the power to heal yourself, by simply continuing to exist and changing your focus from the mystical to the ordinary.