posted on Mar, 12 2011 @ 12:15 AM
Hai. I usually try to write inspirational topics but I've got a haunting 'block' within that I just can't climb over and wondering if any here
could help. I'm not exactly sure if this is the right forum, but it looked to be the most relevant.
I felt a 'tug' back to nature when I was 17. I didn't think much of it because I was 17 and thought it very taboo to do it at that young age but I
did get a backpack to just prepare myself. Fast forward to falling into my addiction (I 'woke up' when I was at a low point of it) and a month ago
went on a spiritual journey with one intent in mind.
The intent was to fully just go into the woods and just go where it lead me but it turned into a 'mini journey' where it appears to have just been
once more a learning stone to the massive rock before me. I nearly went into the wilderness then but instincts were screaming at me NO NO NO while in
-40 C and 6 feet of snow on the ground. I was near northern Alberta/Northwest territories then (planned to go out there) but scurried back home to
where I am more adapted, to a temperature I could stand without going through that nightmarish hell of a voice yelling NO at me and the utter cold.
It's easy to say I would've been guided through the woods if I had went trudging through the 7 feet of snow but when in that predicment, it isn't
nearly as nice. I was in limbo between life and death. So I came back to my adapted enviroment (Victoria) and am back at square one pretty much but
with more knowledge. I put thought into heading out in the woods here and nearly did but the excuse of it being to wet and raining all the time is now
prevalent. I realize now that if it's not one excuse, it's another. After my small journey, I felt immense joy and more appreciation for life.
I know if I took the big one, the inner 'demons' would perish. It's just the jump to that point. I'm 19, wanting to see family I haven't seen in
15 years and have the chance to soon but this pull is getting stronger. This will act as a regret if I don't do this. I don't have a Mother Bird to
push me out of the nest to go my wings. I'm like the birdie looking over the edge, knowing I have to do this myself at one point without help.
Just putting this here to see if anyone could help or relate. I KNOW if I go in there, I'll get over the primal instincts and rise to something
greater then I am, I will be with my higher self. I will be a teacher and even an inventor of something. But this MASSIVE leap requires so so much
strength and I'm doing it all alone by choice. I have free will but there's a big block, blocking me from doing this. lol. Thanks fellas.