For those brought up in christian (or any relgious) homes, who no longer belive.

I was wasn't sure whether to put this here or in rants, mods feel free to move.

Those of you who were brought up in religious households, when you finally decided that you didn't go along with the beliefs in which you were raised, how did your family react?

My family refuses to accept the fact that I know longer follow their beliefs. Their insistence on getting me to "see the light" is borderline harassment. Actually, I take that back, it is harassment. Many of the things they have done have been extremely hurtful. I just received an e-mail aka propaganda from them. I know that being blinded by their religion, they saw this video as a good thing, and not the hate driven fear mongering I saw it to be, but I couldn't help but reply "Spreading the hate again? How very un-christ like"

Its funny, while I was never "saved" because I grew up in it, coming to the realization that I no longer believed in god, was exactly what many Christians claim to feel when they are saved.
I felt like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders and I felt a peace I had never known before. I no longer had to feel guilty for questioning things that didn't seem right. I could take responsibility for my own problems, owning up to my mistakes and changing myself, instead of waiting fro some invisible being to "change me." Do you have any idea how many time I was told from my family, pastors, and other spiritual counsel type people, You are in this mess because you didn't have enough faith. You only part way submitted to him, therefore you got in his way and kept him from moving on your behalf." Do you have any clue how many times I didn't act when I should have because I was told, Give it to god and let go, if you try to take this on yourself, you'll fail because god wants you to realize how much you need him. so he'll let you fail, but if you trust in him it will all be alright." Each one of those situation became worse problems because I didn't act, I had complete faith god was going to do something, then when he didn't I got blamed for not having enough faith.
It eventually turned into self loathing because the way I figured it, somethign had to be wrong with me that god wasn't keeping his promises. So the day I realized, it wasn't me, because there was no god, I was able to let go of all that.

But now I am dealing with a family who refuses to accept that I am a happier person. They won't listen to reason and they won't back off.
I have a friend who is very devote and she nearly broke off her friendship with me at first, in fear that I would be a negative influence in her life, once I told her I was no longer a believer. I told her the same exact thing I told my family. "I have no intention in trying to change your beliefs, I respect your right to believe what ever you want, I only ask the same of you in return. Her response was "O.k. but that doesn't mean I won't be praying for you when your not around." Our friendship is as strong as it ever was. My family however responded, "We can't respect your right to believe somethign that is wrong."

I can't just walk away from the people I love but they are driving me crazy, while at the same time proving how un-christ like their christian behaviors is.


I'll edit for grammar later, I know its bad.

Ugh, yeah, it's a bummer. All I can tell you is just do the best you can with where you're at in life and try to make the most of it. All wisdom is secular wisdom.

It's like believing in Santa Clause. Your parents told you if you did not believe you would not receive gifts.... Little did they know Santa myth was pagan to begin with and Christianity was predated by astronomical events that define the very nature of the christ myth.

Well this seems to be a bad time considering the chaos taking place in Japan and the surround area, but I grew up in a devote catholic upbringing. My uncle infact was a preist, and a very honorable man. But I no longer believe in the catholic aspect of religion. I'm 25 now and I got out of it when I was about 16.

I'm a spiritual person, and I do believe in a higher form, I don't like to label it as God unless I stub my toe and need something to curse. My father, and sister were disappointed in me leaving the church, but I didn't recieve a harsh backlash. Mostly do to the fact I still believe in a high power, and acknowledge jesus as being an important and moving person, in a ghandi or buddha sense. I tend to go with eastern religion, particullary bhuddism.

Now are you a outright atheist or agnostic?

Stand up and do somthing for your self,You dont have to be a dork for the rest of your life.Just because society doesnt claim you doesnt mean that girl doesnt want you. you would probably make a good dad and give you spouse more than her high school foot ball player will, hes drinkin beer with me while you are making yourself better

I still believe in God and Jesus! I will NEVER deny them! I just do not believe in the way I was raized.
I believe that alot in the Bible was missinterpreted by church! I believe that I can ask the Angels for help. I believe in reincarnation ec. I believe that we all have the power to do great things, that as far as the churches go will land me up in hell.
My parents believes I'm going to hell. They once said that they are praying for me, I said so I am praying for you, that your eyes may be opened.
OP, if I denied God like you, then they would have had reazon to pray! I do not believe in hell, so I do not think you'll be thrown into a burning fire. I just think it's sad for someone to deny God.
For the rest of the non-believers, just do not reply on post, I'm talking to the OP not to you!

First of all, well done, you've jumped out of the Atheist closet, so to speak.
I'm assuming that you're from the US, because if you were from the UK, hardly anyone would have even blinked had you announced that you no longer believed. (there are some religious nuts here, but they are very much in the minority).
The bottom line here is, how much do you love your family?
You can't really pretend to believe again just to get a quiet life, and if they are as devout as you say, they wont give up, not for a long time at any rate.
It seems to me, the only choices you have are...

1, Just put up with their presure in the hope they bored and give up.
2, Break free, move away and start a new life without them.
3, Play them at their own game, start saving up as much Atheist literature, quotes etc, and everytime they bombard you with religious stuff, fire back your own stuff.

That's about all the help I can give, sorry if it's not much.
At least you can always come on ATS for a sane chat when things get too much, there's quite a large Atheist community here.

Good Luck.

Originally posted by calstorm
I was wasn't sure whether to put this here or in rants, mods feel free to move.

Those of you who were brought up in religious households, when you finally decided that you didn't go along with the beliefs in which you were raised, how did your family react?

My family refuses to accept the fact that I know longer follow their beliefs. Their insistence on getting me to "see the light" is borderline harassment. Actually, I take that back, it is harassment. Many of the things they have done have been extremely hurtful. I just received an e-mail aka propaganda from them. I know that being blinded by their religion, they saw this video as a good thing, and not the hate driven fear mongering I saw it to be, but I couldn't help but reply "Spreading the hate again? How very un-christ like"

Its funny, while I was never "saved" because I grew up in it, coming to the realization that I no longer believed in god, was exactly what many Christians claim to feel when they are saved.
I felt like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders and I felt a peace I had never known before. I no longer had to feel guilty for questioning things that didn't seem right. I could take responsibility for my own problems, owning up to my mistakes and changing myself, instead of waiting fro some invisible being to "change me." Do you have any idea how many time I was told from my family, pastors, and other spiritual counsel type people, You are in this mess because you didn't have enough faith. You only part way submitted to him, therefore you got in his way and kept him from moving on your behalf." Do you have any clue how many times I didn't act when I should have because I was told, Give it to god and let go, if you try to take this on yourself, you'll fail because god wants you to realize how much you need him. so he'll let you fail, but if you trust in him it will all be alright." Each one of those situation became worse problems because I didn't act, I had complete faith god was going to do something, then when he didn't I got blamed for not having enough faith.
It eventually turned into self loathing because the way I figured it, somethign had to be wrong with me that god wasn't keeping his promises. So the day I realized, it wasn't me, because there was no god, I was able to let go of all that.

But now I am dealing with a family who refuses to accept that I am a happier person. They won't listen to reason and they won't back off.
I have a friend who is very devote and she nearly broke off her friendship with me at first, in fear that I would be a negative influence in her life, once I told her I was no longer a believer. I told her the same exact thing I told my family. "I have no intention in trying to change your beliefs, I respect your right to believe what ever you want, I only ask the same of you in return. Her response was "O.k. but that doesn't mean I won't be praying for you when your not around." Our friendship is as strong as it ever was. My family however responded, "We can't respect your right to believe somethign that is wrong."

I can't just walk away from the people I love but they are driving me crazy, while at the same time proving how un-christ like their christian behaviors is.

I wish i could explain to everyone exactly what God is but theres only one way.....you have to experience "it" to understand.

What you're explaining is their "trap"... people believe in this idea of what God is so strongly that they are willing to condem they're own family to make you believe what their belief is.

Im sorry to all of you "bible thumpers" out there but it needs to be said.

This is wrong... Anyone who pushes their belief on you with a threat is not of God.

God is not in a book, nor is he in any church.

My friend, let them believe whatever they chose to believe. It makes no difference if you chose christianity or islam or what have you... God's doctrine isn't in their bible its inside you.

Let them harass you, take it with a smile. When it comes down to it you love your family, and they love you...thats all that matters. If they chose to judge your for your decision, let them do so, but love them just the same.

People are taught to fear God, but fearing God creates seperation from him and from your fellow man. They fear for they're own souls as well as yours, they believe by luring others into what they believe, its some how "more right" because this is what the crowd believes...

Don't walk away from these people, accept them for their faults.

You say these people are "unchrist like"....right? Lead by example my friend...

Love will overcome

I am a Christian, but I agree with you in the aspect that them isolating you is a problem. I also have a cousin that chooses another line of thinking separate from the family’s beliefs. But we in no way alienate him but still love him as family. I believe the message in Christianity is being misunderstood(private interpretation). It tells you to spread peace and love to everyone and not pass judgment on others.
James 4:11
Speak no evil one of another brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge

Instead of approaching the situation with a head on collision approach them with the word, you can adjust their mindset my friend.

Also truth is not amongst are understanding, so in other words nobody knows the truth. I think this is the reasoning of the bible saying knowledge is granted through him. Cause true knowledge is never obtained just assumed. I invite you to be open minded.

reply to post by BreezeLike

nobody knows the truth

the truth is found in your love of God...

You can understand truth though peoples actions or words...

*sigh* i hate using scripture but this makes my point...

15 "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles? 17 So, every sound tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears evil fruit. 18 A sound tree cannot bear evil fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus you will know them by their fruits.

If theres love in peoples actions / words you can see truth in them...

as someone said, Light has no place in darkness...

reply to post by MKultraVideos


Thank you for everyone's reply. I am just struggling with this because, well, family is family.

As far as whether or not I am agnostic or atheist, I guess the way to answer that is that I am not sure. I know what I don't believe, but I am unsure of what I do believe. Sometimes I lean more towards atheism, but other times I lean towards the idea that their may be else out there.

reply to post by Akragon


Yes you are right,sorry I didn't clarify my point. The truth is not amongst us part was in reference to my theory on life. On how we as humans should obtain knowledge. I was out thinking my typing. Love God and all living things among us.

Originally posted by calstorm
reply to post by MKultraVideos

 

Thank you for everyone's reply. I am just struggling with this because, well, family is family.

As far as whether or not I am agnostic or atheist, I guess the way to answer that is that I am not sure. I know what I don't believe, but I am unsure of what I do believe. Sometimes I lean more towards atheism, but other times I lean towards the idea that their may be else out there.

I know where you're coming from.
I consider myself an Atheist as I don't believe in a God of any kind.
But, that doesn't mean I don't have any spiritual belief's.
My belief's are evolving daily, and I do keep an open mind. I am coming round to the idea that our consciousness could be part of something bigger, but, as I have said, I am evolving.

reply to post by calstorm

I can't just walk away from the people I love but they are driving me crazy, while at the same time proving how un-christ like their christian behaviors is.

I know where you are coming from, friend. My Mother was a fundamental die hard Assembly of God brainwashed Christian. I remember hearing the words God, Jesus, and Satan coming from her mouth hundreds of times a day. I remember the preachers, all red in the face, telling me that I was a sinner, an abomination before God. Questions were not allowed, not right to question God, after all. And ask them about the wife of God, as all living things here on Earth are male and female, but no, God is three male beings, all together, and all women are evil, and the cause of evil in the first place. I went up to the "alter" several times as a young man, and reverently prayed for Jesus to save my soul, but nothing ever happened. Oh, I saw the others, mesmerized by the show, falling under the spell, and I could feel the evil in these too.

In 1987, my mom disowned me for good, and moved away to die alone. Of my whole family unit, only my son and daughter, and one uncle and aunt love me today, and accept me with what I am. The town I live in things I need mental help, and am sent her by Satan to fool Christians into leaving Christ. I am told that the pentagram about my neck is a satanic symbol, even though early Christians used it themselves. I take passages from my older Bible and tell them things in there, and they hold up their "new editions" and tell me it is not in there. S&F for you, good post