It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Anthropology lesson (humor)

page: 1
2

log in

join
share:

posted on Mar, 9 2011 @ 05:26 PM
link   
Got this humorous bit in an email today:
It is clean AND meant to be "funny" ;if you are an easily offended; overly sensitive "liberal"; please just step back from the fire ring and exit to the nearest "global warming thread"...
Here it goes:

"For those that don't know about history ... Here is a condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer
and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of
beer
and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were
the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1 . Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented
yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to
be
invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages
were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known
as the
Conservative movement...

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the
sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
Liberal
movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became
known as girlie-men. Some note worthy liberal achievements include the
domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and
the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and
beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years, conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by
the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef
well done. Sushi, tofu and French food are standard liberal fare.
Another
interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher
testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal
injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
therapists are
liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't
fair to make the pitcher also bat.Conservatives drink domestic beer,
mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their
women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers,
engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of themilitary,
airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to
work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals
remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They
crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of
trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily
respond to the above before forwarding it.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute
truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other
true
believers and to more liberals just to piss them off.

And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self...I'm
going to have another beer.




posted on Mar, 9 2011 @ 05:36 PM
link   
AHAHAH great, And really clever. Nice to see, rather than I have got a feeling the end of the world is coming


flag 4u



posted on Mar, 9 2011 @ 07:54 PM
link   
I'm still laughing so hard that I can't drink my beer!

Funny funny funny!



 
2

log in

join