reply to post by MagesticEsoteric
I was checking on the status of a TV show (Showtime's Polyamory), and was curious about what had been said here on ATS on the subject. The search
turned up this thread. Back when I originally posted in it...my wife and I had discussed the idea of having a woman join us on occasion, but
circumstances had never really come up.
Since that post, we have on a few occasions, and I think I can offer some additional insights to this, to help with the OP's original purpose of the
Back then (2011, when I originally posted in the thread), I mentioned my wife is one of those who loves being "with" a guy in a relationship, but
she's also attracted to women. Having been married nearly a decade now, we're pretty secure with each other, and any jealousy issues are WAY dialed
down. Circumstances happened to where it became a possibility. Mostly some alcohol and harmless flirting that then went a bit further, then even
further. At first, I was happy being the spectator, but it was fairly easy to join in at some point.
Of course, the day after, all of the analysis happens. Was she going to be mad? Was I going to be? How about the other gal? Luckily, it seemed we were
all cool with it, and all enjoyed the experience. I think my wife was glad to have the chance to explore that part of her sexuality, and of course I
enjoyed myself too. Luckily, we had kind of established some hypothetical ground rules way before this opportunity knocked, so we didn't have that to
deal with. I can't stress how important that was though. During the second time, I almost forgot one of those rules (genuinely forgot), but a quick
reading of the look she gave me reminded me of a certain limit. Since that was all it took, I was in the clear, but had I crossed that
It's funny, but only a couple of RL friends even know about this. Of course, they asked me if I would be cool seeing her with a guy. Back in 2011, I
would have said no way. Now? I'm comfortable enough and secure enough to say I think so. I wouldn't do anything with him..just isn't my
thing....but hard for me to refuse her if it came up and she wanted it. Likely the only scenario is a couples thing anyhow, so then at least I'm not
warming the bench. Thing is though, it isn't as if she did the threesome thing just for me. Since she was attracted to the girl too, there was
nothing selfish about this, just two people who love each other enjoying the company of another.
From re-reading the OP and the thread, it seems the OP was genuinely curious about the whole concept. Over the course of the thread, I've been first
on the outside looking in, then on the inside of the situation...so I hope my insights help shed some light on it. Is this something the wife and I
will do often? No...maybe a few times a year. It isn't something we have to do, or that I pressure her for. If it happens it happens. Even if it
never happened again, no problem. But, it can be done without ruining a relationship. Is it for everyone? No. I doubt it would be even for most
people. You really have to be secure in the relationship for it not to cause a problem. But it can be a great and wonderful experience with the right
mindset and attitude.