Having an Open/Swinging Marriage

I am interested in knowing what other members think about having open marriages or swinging with other couples.

My best friend's significant other arranged for a "date" with another couple last weekend. Apparently, it was an "amazing experience" that helped them understand eachother and each other's needs on a much deeper level.

What do other's think about this?

I believe it might be eye opening on one level, however totally awkward and angering on another. I believe those who swing don't have a true love for each other. The kind of love that will allow them to be happy and lost in each other without anything else.

It will end in divorce 100 %

If you want to bang other people be a man and end the relationship.

People are cowards these days.

Been there, we tried it, and I am MUCH too insecure to try it again... although it had nothing to do with how hubby was. I don't suggest it unless you KNOOOW that you can handle it.
I'm happy with the one I'm married to..

Originally posted by syncelebrity
I believe it might be eye opening on one level, however totally awkward and angering on another. I believe those who swing don't have a true love for each other. The kind of love that will allow them to be happy and lost in each other without anything else.

Some think we have fallen back into the 60's! We did the open marriage, got hurt and divorced and stopped that a long time ago. There really is no new idea under the sun. Too bad we need to repreat the the bad ideas of history over and over again.

First, I would like to state that I am an atheist, and although not married, have been living with my partner for ~15 years, and we have two beautiful daughters...

As to your post, I'd like to say to each is own. If you are curious, want to experiment, or just to spice up your relationship...go for it. Personally, it's not my cup-of-tea, I'm faithful by nature...
Hope you find what your looking for!

Peace, Love, and Happiness!!!

Everyone has to find his/her own road, to the only things that really matter. No two roads are the same, but all are equally valid.

I'd never be able to let my wife be with another dude...nope...no way.

reply to post by MagesticEsoteric


For those rare couples who actually take the time to really get to know one another beforehand and that are able to genuinely distinguish sex from love, such things make for wonderful experiences and create deeper bonding with your life partner.
On the flip-side, for the majority, there is far too much that can go very badly wrong, most commonly resulting in seperations and failed relationships when they realise they didn't actually trust or love each other as much as they thought they did, or the foundations of their characters had been built on sand, as is all too often the case.

It's a very big test of the strength of ones relationship, regardless.

Why even get married if u want to sleep with other people thats what I think. I been married 12 years with my wife 15 years. I knew I wanted to be with her the rest of my life and have a family with her. I sowed my wild oats before I got married. I think thats where alot of people make their mistake they get married young and then after a while they wonder if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. when divorce is at 50% rate I dont think this would help in beating the odds. So in conclusion no I dont think this is a smart idea but thats just me to each his own it doesnt affect me one way or another

I've known a few couples who live this "lifestyle". But one couple in particular have been married almost 30 years, and are still like a couple of teens together. You would think they were newlyweds at times. So I guess it depends on the couple. It's not for me though. But I don't judge or begrudge anyone else if it works for them.

I have been in a polyamorous relationship for about 10 years now. My wife and I have never been happier nor more stable. Yes, people told us we would end up divorced. It did not end up that way.

We have had friends who are swingers and even had a clothing store in a swingers bar for a while (fire in 09 put an end to that). Some did end up badly. Others have had long term, stable and happy relationships.

Here's what it comes down to. Can you honestly love more than one person? Can your partner? If you both can, then polyamory is possible. If it's not about love, but sex -- and if you can overcome the jealousy and/or feelings of inadequancy, then swinging is the possibility.

I personally do not feel that humans are naturally monogamous. I believe it is bred into us through culture. I could be wrong -- it could be no differant than sexual preference. I know from personal experience that I love my wife strongly and I am secure in her love back to me. Her boyfriend and my other friends would never change that.

So there you have it from the mouth of someone with a lot of experience.

reply to post by syncelebrity


It was described as being 'beautiful' and "unselfish" because they were both able to let the other experience and enjoy a fantasy that fulfilled their wants and desires.

I know it probably sounds a bit "out there" and, that is probably the exact reason why I found all of this so interesting.

Maybe I'm too selfish to want to share what I consider to be mine or maybe I'm just over protective of the one's that I love.

Seriously if you want to[snip]someone else then get out of the relationship (divorce if necessary) or just don't get into a relationship in the first place.

Being a swinger just shows how insecure you really are.

Originally posted by Kargun
It will end in divorce 100 %

Gotta love assumptions.

Originally posted by OptimisticPessimist

Originally posted by Kargun
It will end in divorce 100 %

Gotta love assumptions.

And totally debunked anyway...

reply to post by Kargun


This whole concept is messing with me a bit.

I can't imagine seeing my spouse with another person but there seems to be an entire community of couples that live this lifestyle very naturally.

Am I missing something

reply to post by MagesticEsoteric


I am sorry but your significant other should be your only fantasy. The one that is capable of making every thing you ever wanted come true (or at least become your only fantasy). Swinging is in my opinion a selfish act built on lustful and unfulfilled desire. If you desire swinging then don't commit to a marriage or partner.

reply to post by MagesticEsoteric


As you can tell, it depends on perspective. For me, sex and love are not the same thing at all. In addition, I believe -- strongly -- that people are more than capable of loving more than one person at the same time. My wife feels the same way. Our marriage by legal terms is for matters of insurance, etc. We are together because we choose to be.

I will not make any attempt to defend our choice of lifestyle. It works for us and does not need to be defended.

reply to post by CerBeRus666


I agree...to each his own. It's not my cup of tea either by the way, I just recently had a friend confide a personal experience they had with another couple and it honestly fascinated me.

The complexity of it all I suppose....

reply to post by OptimisticPessimist


Those rare couples must have an amazing quality of life huh?