She Is 5 Feet Of Concrete

As I sit in a sterilized, generic waiting room I take a moment to see the faces around me. They are etched with worry, and deeply furrowed in thought. Just like mine. We are all awaiting word from the outdated lifeline positioned beside generic cold steel doors. Each of us having entered those very doors with one more person in our party than we exited them with. All of us contemplating if that one person will see the same glowing red exit sign themselves before the sun sets on this day.

Glances toward the phone on the wall are not well hidden. Neither is the longing present in those gazes. As if by sheer force of will, word will come to one of us.

My mind replays the earlier events, as I recall standing by her bedside trying to be strong and not being able to recall a time when she wasn't my strength. She appeared so small in the bed where she smiled, even as the fear stole her pallor. Still trying to be my rock, while I was clinging to my last thread of self control. Her eyes touch mine and the full reality thunders in.

A million memories rush in, battering at my will. Memories of 32 cupcakes made at 1 am because I volunteered it. Dinners cooked and served when she was so sick she couldn't stand up straight. The overtime worked for those nikes everyone had to have. The respect instilled, the lessons taught, and the love still given when I know it had to be hard. The examples shown in which I still strive to come close to. The woman she is that always makes me want to be a better person. A better mother. And most of all the friendship that grew so strong after I became a mother myself.

She is 5 feet of concrete, that I saw grow softer today. As my memories draw to a close I realize that I am not ready to lose that supporting pillar. The faces around me seem to be reflecting the same sentiment.

The seconds and minutes keep ticking by as the lifeline remains silent.

For now I know she is ok. I can feel her strength in me even now when she lays under anesthesia. A mother's job is never done.


Sorry guys. I know it isn't nwo or et related. I just had to get it off my chest. It's going to be a long day for sure so thanks for reading.

Sometimes we need to be dragged back to reality and feel emotions other than somebody is cheating me or that the world is going to end. Thanks and best of luck

Beautiful story.

Thank you - you're a breath of fresh air...

From your last two lines I take it this is happening now or happened recently? I hope you and yours find the strength and peace you need to get through this. Prayers for you and yours.

peace

reply to post by Kangaruex4Ewe


Peace be with you friend

reply to post by Kangaruex4Ewe


Beautiful brother, brought a tear to my eye. Sending my energy your way.

Thanks guys. She received her 3rd cranioplasty in 2 years today. Unexplained and continued loss of bone keep preventing a full heal.

I really want to thank you all for your the good wishes, thoughts, and prayers. I have learned quickly that there are good people on ATS that do care for more than theories.