people who "infect" eachother with their behaviour

Allright, my first serious topic.

I've got this friend who has a somewhat pessimistic view on the world. I know this guy for about 6 years and it has never changed. But then suddenly a girl came into his life with the "borderline personality disorder". She is extremely depressing to hang out with and also she has the intelect of a 16 year old child (she is actually 27 years old).

Now, because I got extremely sick of their behaviour I just stopped the friendship with them and now I'm feeling much better. For about 4 years (first 2 year by him, the second 2 years by both) I got pulled in this kind of behaviour. I have a somewhat negative personality, but it was never so extreme as in that period of time. But again, now I broke all contact with them it suddenly goes better, much better. The costs where kinda high though.

It sound kinda hard, but I don't really know how to discribe this feeling because I'm Dutch and I don't have all the words for it.

But my point is that I'm convinced that people can have a influence on your personality, state of mind or behaviour, it is up to you how much you let them have that and I made the mistake that I didn't see it on time.

How do you guys think on this subject?

I support this wholeheartedly. I just got a medical withdrawal from my third semester in college for depression and anxiety and I believe it was brought onto me by my roommate. (not completely, depression does run my my family.) But when you live with someone who is so negative, it rubs off on you, and you start to see things the way they do.

I believe the saying is 'you are who your friends are'
I don't believe alot of clishe sayings but that one rings tru to me.

A strong will can never be controlled
Even if killed the ATOMs REMOLD

I totally agree, and have been in the same situation as you. Except I am 18, and when it happened, they really were 16.

Originally posted by DrumsRfun
I believe the saying is 'you are who your friends are'
I don't believe alot of clishe sayings but that one rings tru to me.

To be honest, I never was on one line with that guy also I never was THAT negative. He is extremely narrow minded about most subjects in life but you could have some fun with him. Sometimes his pessimistic views were rather amusing for me, but after time it becomes really depressing and it takes much energy. I begin to notice that I started to get some negative ideas about things which I never had before (my education, musical taste, hobbys, people I like, work/jobs etc). Maybe I'm just a little to sensitive for other people's view of life.

People seem to think they can only catch infections on a physical level. Look at the world right now...

Does anyone believe that the US military is "sane" at the moment? How about police? All you have to do is introduce a "program" into their mentality and viola... they are infected, mentally.
"See something say something" campaign... this is a form of a mental infection. People who believe that propaganda will now actually act mentally ill when it comes to others doing normal everyday behaviors and activities, and people will get shot and killed who did nothing wrong because of it.

I can go on and on, but I think you guys get the point. Beware of these low vibrations.

I think what you have here most of all, is a canundrum of varibles. See the way you view yourself, as being affected by others. Dosn't hold true for everyone. Then there are those that like you may be affected by some others, but not these people you were affected by.

Seems as though you realised bad chemistry. You did what was best for you. Possibly them as well.
Nothing wrong with that. Your english seems good just increase your vocabulary. English dictionary. I wish I knew another language. SnF

Originally posted by JibbyJedi
People seem to think they can only catch infections on a physical level. Look at the world right now...

Does anyone believe that the US military is "sane" at the moment? How about police? All you have to do is introduce a "program" into their mentality and viola... they are infected, mentally.
"See something say something" campaign... this is a form of a mental infection. People who believe that propaganda will now actually act mentally ill when it comes to others doing normal everyday behaviors and activities, and people will get shot and killed who did nothing wrong because of it.

I can go on and on, but I think you guys get the point. Beware of these low vibrations.

Yes I understand.

But it's a bit strange for me that that girl of my friend will never change. She is in therapy for at least 2/3 years or so but still no improvement. Now I've been in serious therapy for about a month and I'm starting to feel better, but that is also because I'm finally willing to change. I have a history of therapy (which got worse when those came into my life) but it never worked out as it does now. And I'm really convinced that it has something to do with those 2 people.

I also think that that girls doesnt want to change, else she had been stable now (at least more stable than she now is).

But it is saddening me, those people have no idea how they could wreck someone's life (and their own potential) with their behaviour, also I find it quite negative that they are not open for chance or help.

I think I made the right decision to leave them were they are now.

reply to post by notimportant


I know exactly what you're saying. It's sort of like mass hysteria in a way. Well maybe not so much. I see it all the time here in The US though. Everybody takes on the mentality of the very corporations and government sucking the life out of them, yet they become like them feeling like they are "above the law" And that their "# don't stink" that all of the world should bend over and kiss their booty. This mentality is spreading like wildfire. Why? Because these dummies actually think they will be up there one day with them. I think negativity and self delusion is the easiest disease to spread, and it is clearly evident in America!

reply to post by notimportant


You definitely made the right decision. They will bring you down to their levels of insecurity. They are uncomfortable with themselves, and she sounds like she has Arrested Development problems.
I know many young girls exactly the same. They are also lacking in the intelligence department too.
I don't know if it's the product of bad schooling, a sick cultural program that embedded within them, or it's just a food & water toxin issue, but there are more & more people devolving into adult children.

Maybe it's like that infectious yawning thing. You can alter peoples mood.

Originally posted by JibbyJedi
reply to post by notimportant

 

You definitely made the right decision. They will bring you down to their levels of insecurity. They are uncomfortable with themselves, and she sounds like she has Arrested Development problems.
I know many young girls exactly the same. They are also lacking in the intelligence department too.
I don't know if it's the product of bad schooling, a sick cultural program that embedded within them, or it's just a food & water toxin issue, but there are more & more people devolving into adult children.

It's lack of parenting, and involvement of the nanny state.
But there are still some real parents who don't GAFF what the government says, we do parent, and even with verging on illegal according to our "nanny state" and guess what? Our kids are more devlopmentally and intellectually smarter. Government needs to GTHO of family matters, unless there are real serious issues Which 99.9999999% of the time IS IN FACT NOT THE CASE!!!!!!!!

Originally posted by JibbyJedi
reply to post by notimportant

 

You definitely made the right decision. They will bring you down to their levels of insecurity. They are uncomfortable with themselves, and she sounds like she has Arrested Development problems.
I know many young girls exactly the same. They are also lacking in the intelligence department too.
I don't know if it's the product of bad schooling, a sick cultural program that embedded within them, or it's just a food & water toxin issue, but there are more & more people devolving into adult children.

She never finished highschool, and I think she is "Evil" and just want to leech on welfare. The discription of a "sucubus" is right on its place with this woman I'm talking about.

The serious part: She never finished highschool because she is the typical "problem child" who shoves all the blame on others (wellfare/government authoritys, other people) and not on herself. She is actually a real "child", she want to rule on internet forums, takes 100 pictures of herself and places them all over the internet in the hope of positieve reactions.

The worst part is that when I started about her behaviours she complety freaked out against me. She has one time cheated on here exboyfriend with a other friend of mine, and she started to blame her exboyfriend for it, that he never had time for her, and that they never do something together. Fun part is that that friend of mine was in a rather populair band at that time, and her current friend was in the same band. So she is actually nothing more than somekind of groupie (childsbrain thing again).

I don't want to sound like I'm gossiping, but this kind of behaviour has my intrest (In about 4 months I will start a new education and will be a psychology student)

reply to post by notimportant


Yeah been there done that, in middle school. Definitely arrested development. I know too many Sucubi (sucubuses?) for one lifetime. She's bad news all the way, if you lost a friend because of her, don't worry about it, people smarten up eventually when enough is enough. Keep your distance though, when a sh!t storm is raining upon someone, if you stand too close to them, you get rained on too.

There is no infection or disease.

There is only true or false facts, and then there are opinions.

You could claim that Math has infected the whole world, and that we are all "sick" with the "disease" of counting things.

But this is pretty absurd, humans share ideas and knowledge through communication. We each have the individual capacity to reject or uphold these ideas as we each see fit.

If you are impressionable and easily misled, than yes other ideas will affect you greatly often times.

But if you are resilient and strong willed, than other ideas have to pass a gamut of criteria and qualifications to be accepted.

I honestly cannot stand the characterization that ideas are "infectious diseases", because you can easily change you mind within seconds and disregard those ideas. However actual diseases are much harder to get rid of.

Sorry to poop on the party. Hopefully my post will serve as the "anti-virus".

Originally posted by muzzleflash
There is no infection or disease.

There is only true or false facts, and then there are opinions.

You could claim that Math has infected the whole world, and that we are all "sick" with the "disease" of counting things.

But this is pretty absurd, humans share ideas and knowledge through communication. We each have the individual capacity to reject or uphold these ideas as we each see fit.

If you are impressionable and easily misled, than yes other ideas will affect you greatly often times.

But if you are resilient and strong willed, than other ideas have to pass a gamut of criteria and qualifications to be accepted.

I honestly cannot stand the characterization that ideas are "infectious diseases", because you can easily change you mind within seconds and disregard those ideas. However actual diseases are much harder to get rid of.

Sorry to poop on the party. Hopefully my post will serve as the "anti-virus".

You don't have to excuse yourself, I agree for the most part. I was being naief at that time, so it is also my mistake. I only can say that "I have learned from it" ...

I know exactly what You are talking about OP . I call it reverse empathy ,and I seem to have it . I am overall very empathic , to the point that I can adapt to the thought patterns/ feelings of the people that I am around if I want , and kind of blend in like a chameleon. My friends are joking that I would make a great spy

But I am going off topic , so back on track . I always knew I had this empathic connection to people that I am around , but after some time I realized that I can somehow influence others to feel the way I do if I stay long enough in the vicinity of that person , it is kind of a weird process , but to keep it short I can basically "transfer" my feelings to somebody else and they will start acting and feeling the same way I do. No idea if there is a medical term for this or not , but I know this phenomenon is real , at least for me It helped me out quiet a few times here and there