Homophobes:: GET A CLUE!!!, page 2

reply to post by mizbeach40

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I think its important to realize that homophobes are people too. And they all have different reasons.

I used to be very judgmental of homophobes too, until I got to know one.

He is a middle aged guy, very Christian, and he would literally froth at the mouth when talking about gays. I always wondered why, and one day, during a conversation about parents, he confessed that he had been molested by a man as a child and his father did nothing when he tried to tell him.

So......................it all made different sense to me after that. He hates gays because he was molested, and the fact that he is religious just adds to his sense of hatred for them. His religiosity isnt the root of his hate, it just gives him more justification to hate.

The best way to deal with prejudice of ALL KINDS, including those who are prejudiced against the far right wingers, is familiarity. The more you get to know people of the "kind" that you find repugnant, the more common ground and humanity you will find in them.

reply to post by mizbeach40

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Hey, no need to be hysterical, nobody hates you because you are gay, except some wacos, of course. What many people hate is publicizing your private life and sticking your "unusual" preferences in everybody's face.
And quit saying this nonsense "I'm gay and proud!" There is nothing to be proud of, just live your life the way you have chosen and try to not be a nuisance.

reply to post by mizbeach40

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I am really sorry you have experience so much hatred... It IS disgusting!!! And I know what you mean... tolerance on ATS seems to have taken massive step back lately.

But please do not think that all religious people behave this way... they don't. I am a Christian... and I follow the words of Christ...

"Judge not for you shall be Judged"

"Let he without sin cast the first stone"

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

All the words of Christ, which tell me not to Judge others. I have NO right to judge you and never would.

I also have a friend who is a Muslim and gay. His family accept him and, although he has experienced bigotry from other areas of the community, on the whole he does ok.

Unfortunately some people are just ignorant and bigoted, and some hide behind hate because they are unsure of their own sexuality and so lash out as a way of trying to prove just how straight they are... it’s sad really.

But it’s not really to do with religion... sure, religious people will use certain passages of the Bible, Koran or whatever to justify their hatred... But then I’ve heard homophobic atheist say "It just goes against nature" and "it just aint normal"

I really don’t see how two people loving each other (whatever their sex) can be classed as "not normal"

It just goes to show that hatred is hatred, whatever you try and hide it behind.

I honestly wish you all the best and, like you, I hope that the ATS community starts to open their minds a little.

Peace

reply to post by BlesUTP

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One is inherently destructive and limits the progression of the human race, the other doesn't

I'll let you figure that out on your own. I do agree, bashing this or that isn't going to help the situation. If individuals choose to be a bigot based upon writing, scold them for being bigots. However, we do need to discuss this topic in a civil, respectful manner. Civility is the cornerstone to a thriving and intelligent forum environment.

reply to post by mizbeach40

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You know, I bet you've got a lot of anger (probably with good reason) at those people that I personally won't ever understand but hold your horses there. No need to go flinging stones wildly. The stubborn will continue to stay stubborn (haha, get it? Cause they're stubborn...) so why waste your time on their level? Keep in mind that alot of Christians don't quite get what they're reading and take in the pieces they choose. Jesus didn't preach hate or anything like that, He spoke of love, kindness, patience and quite often said,"Do not judge, lest you be judged." Not everybody here is a homophobe. I, personally, don't care if you are a lesbian, abuse(d) drugs, or whatever as long as you're not hurting anybody or tearing up the the place. Life's a celebration, I don't wanna spill your drink at the party and I hope you don't spill mine, if you do though, I can always get a new one. Cheer up, take a breath or two, and join the party. Haters? Kill 'em with kindness, that's what Jesus says to do (Seriously, he does). Best wishes!
Peace!

Originally posted by mr-lizard
The sad thing is. If you started making threads about how you love women and bragging about your sexual ideals, your thread would probably be deleted.

Are you serious?

www.abovetopsecret.com...

There are many heterosexual threads on ATS/BTS. You don't think anything about hearing someone mention their husband or their wife, but that's advertising their sexuality. If heterosexuals don't have to "keep it to themselves", why should gay people?

reply to post by TheOneElectric

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that is an entirely opinion based assessment, and while i respect your right to express your thoughts, i must disagree.

individuals are responsible for their own actions irregardless of what an institution says is acceptable. people choose to do what they will, so they should be judged accordingly.

multi-national corporate influence is the real threat to humanity, not religious beliefs.

but yes, more civility would be a welcome change.

reply to post by mr-lizard

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I also think a lot more men have been abused than the statistics allow for. Mainly because in the past it has been so shameful to admit, that it has really been kept in the closet.

We are in the midst, (with the pedophile priest revelations and other men stepping forward and telling their stories,) of a new understanding of just how many boys are molested. And I think when it all comes out in the wash, its going to explain a lot in terms of the homophobic attitudes of many men.

Originally posted by Illusionsaregrander
...one day, during a conversation about parents, he confessed that he had been molested by a man as a child and his father did nothing when he tried to tell him.

Hi. I was molested by not one, not 2, but 3 different men when was young. That doesn't give me an excuse to hate men or heterosexual men. I do agree with you that homophobes have every right to be who they are, hate who they want and talk about it. But as an adult, to hate ALL of any particular group because of what one, two or three do, is bigotry. And to use religion to prop up one's bigotry is really sickening, to me.

reply to post by Muckster

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Excellent post, friend.

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic

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Many times, members of groups who have been oppressed learn to be ashamed
of who they are because people react so negatively to them. At some point,
these people decide NOT to be embarrassed or ashamed anymore, and instead,
decide to be proud of who they are.

Awareness of that process is healthy. Emotional attachment to these issues is the root of the vast majority of the suffering. Experiencing pride for a state of being is probably preferable to experiencing shame for it, but if homosexuals could do what they do, simply because they choose to...without any pride or shame at all...that would probably be both healthier and more comfortable for them.

For example, I like to ski. It's not something I'm "proud" of. Neither is it something I experience shame or guilt over. It's simply something I enjoy, and occassionally do. There's no huge emotional weight attached to it. Consequently, I feel no need to justify to the world the validity of my choice to ski, nor would I feel uncomfortable being in a room of people if I was the only skier amongst them. And if one of them were to tell me that skiing was the work of the devil and that I was evil and going to go to hell for it...I'd be much more likely to be amused than bothered.

Once homosexuals can choose their behaviors with a similar lack of emotional attachment...I think they'll find their lives much easier.

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic

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Well, I certainly dont mean to demean your experience, but I dont think it is really comparable.

For instance, IF your body betrayed you, by finding itself physically aroused by any portion of the molestation, you do not have to question whether or not YOU are gay for the rest of your life because of it. You may still have to deal with self loathing, and all of those issues that arise because of the complex, pleasure/revulsion/fear combination that sexual molestation causes, but your sexual orientation will likely remain clear to you.

Also you see how easily you confessed to your experience? Imagine in the case of my neighbor telling one person as a child, who reacted as if it were so shameful it was never spoken of again, and no action was ever taken to vindicate you. Women can be victims in our society, without losing "face." In fact, some women revel in the role of victim.

Men who are victims lose not only by the act that victimizes them, but by the mere fact that they have been victimized. Weakness is still frowned upon in men, and I dont want to hear how thats on them, and too bad for them, thats the whole patriarchal system, blah blah blah. I have never heard men talk with the kind of venom about "weak men" that I have heard women use.

So, as I said, I am sorry for you, no one deserves that, and I am sure it caused you pain, but............................I dont think you can really compare the pain you experienced to the pain a straight man who has been molested by another male would feel. Its compounded by a lot of things women who are molested dont have to deal with.

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