Rutgers Dorms Going Co-Ed After Gay Student's Suicide (I'm confused, are you?)

Originally posted by filosophia
That doesn't make any sense, I'm guessing it's just another underhanded insult.

Then please go back a page and read it all again like I have asked you to because I was trying to help and I feel like you are trying to be confused. Let me try to make this simple.

I responded to you. I said some things. Then I quoted some snippets from YOUR article.

You then responded with this post. In that post, you left out all of my actual words and responded to the snippets from your own article. You even changed the last one to a quote.

Am I still going too fast because I really feel like I have gone over this.

Ok, so why are you wasting time on this thread if you're reading an entirely different article?

Are you reading what you respond to?
We are both discussing the same article which would be clear if you were reading it. "After" does not mean "because of."

Oh brother, a gay opinion, that doesn't give it any more universal truth to it.

I never said it was a universal truth. I said it was exactly what you had asked for but ignored.

You've made this into much greater than I initially attempted: How does co-ed dorms have anything to do with a gay suicide? You seem to suggest, from the opinions of one gay person, that the, or rather, "a" reason for this is because a gay person may be more comfortable with someone of the opposite sex. Which brings me back to my metaphor:

"In order to please the gay community we will be bringing straight people into the community."

I honestly believe if you read the article in your OP, you would not be so confused. I honestly find it hard to believe you seriously responded to me with this after actually reading my post.

Originally posted by filosophia
reply to post by Sinnthia

 

You're right, the headline should have said

College dorms going co-ed after Sun rises in sky.

Why would they mention the suicide if it had nothing to do with it ?

You seem to want to make it seem like there is no correlation between the gay suicide and this decision to go co-ed, yet that is the headline of the article so I'm not really sure where you're aiming at.

Because it caught your attention, got you all worked up, and even got you to share it with others. They wanted it to be interesting. However, that does not change the fact that if you read the article you will see they are following in the footsteps of other colleges.

So either your logic holds true and they are also doing it BECAUSE thos other colleges did it, or you really know what "after" means and are just trying to stir something up. I really do not know how one can be so confused about such basic things.

If I said I did not care if my roomate was gay, how does that give anything up about me? I do not get how this has tripped you up so much and I can really only encourage you to actually read the whole story and pay a little more attention the words people actually write in their posts.

Honestly, I was just trying to help and stay neutral. If you would read your first page again, you would see that. I am not sure what you intentions with this are but I wish you luck.

Originally posted by filosophia
First of all, can you please give me a quote from the article where it talks about the roommate filling out some form or telling them in some way that they would respect their roommates sexual preference?

At least pretend you read the article if you are still not willing to by the second page of your own thread.

First-year students will not have access to the program, but LGBT freshmen will have the prerogative to ask for a roommate who respects their sexual preferences, reports NJ.com.

Originally posted by filosophia
They're setting aside a hall for gays, bi-sexuals, etc, but they aren't asking for a student's sexual preference? Doesn't add up.

What does a gay student committing suicide have to do with co-ed dorm rooms?

OK, you are quite obvious at this point because you just responded to that exact answer.

Originally posted by FibroKat
Okay, let's see if I can help you understand the situation: If a gay young man can go to a college and have a roommate who respects his preferences, then any type of humiliating circumstance (such as what happened to that other poor young man) probably wouldn't happen; therefore, there would be no suicide.

Hopefully the mods can help you from here.

reply to post by Sinnthia


in those four long posts you still did not answer the question:

What does a Gay student's suicide have to do with co-ed dorming?

As someone that attended Rutgers, I can say that they already have co-ed dorms. It is done by room and not by floor as some have suggested [this is based on when I was there and where I stayed]. In other words, each room was single sex but you may have opposite sex rooms next to you, across the hall, etc.

There is also the opportunity to request, I believe this is still off-limits to first semester Freshmen though, roommates of your choosing. This allows homosexuals to potentially choose their partner as a roommate, whereas heterosexual partners do not have that option.

Allowing all students the ability to choose their preferred roommate, regardless of sex, which may also potentially include a relationship partner, seems to be the fairest way to move forward.

In the strive for equality, we must remember that the very definition requires us to make all things equal for all persons regardless of race, sex, etc.

Well, if homosexuals get to choose to live in a dorm with their partners, it seems only fair to allow heterosexuals the same option.

As for how this is going to prevent another student from being targeted for being gay, I'm not sure. Other than it will provide them with a safe, secure environment to enjoy their relationship without the worry of a roommate walking in at any moment and disclosing their private moment. If you have ever been a roommate in a college dorm, you know that privacy is not always easy to come by. This would be a great burden for anyone that wished to keep their sexuality private.

Originally posted by filosophia
reply to post by Sinnthia

 

in those four long posts you still did not answer the question:

What does a Gay student's suicide have to do with co-ed dorming?

Second post on the page.

I wish you luck with your future reading endeavours.

reply to post by Sinnthia


they did it to get my attention? They made co-ed rooms just to get my attention? I'm not seeing the answer. I'll ask again for anyone who cares to answer:

Why does a gay suicide prompt co-ed dorms?

Originally posted by filosophia
reply to post by Sinnthia

 

they did it to get my attention? They made co-ed rooms just to get my attention? I'm not seeing the answer. I'll ask again for anyone who cares to answer:

Why does a gay suicide prompt co-ed dorms?

They framed the article to get your attention. I can only ask so many times for you to actually provide even one quote from the article citing one as a reason for the other. I honestly think your beef is with Jennifer so you should ask her why she wrote it that way.

Or provide that quote and perhaps you will get an answer. I believe you are making a connection that is not actually in there.

Originally posted by filosophia
reply to post by Sinnthia

 

they did it to get my attention? They made co-ed rooms just to get my attention? I'm not seeing the answer. I'll ask again for anyone who cares to answer:

Why does a gay suicide prompt co-ed dorms?

I don't think there's as much of a direct link as you are trying to make.

Currently a student can pick a same-sex roommate. For homosexuals, this may or may not be their partner. There are also dorm rooms that house three students, not just two, although these are less common. There are also "apartments" on campus that will assign students an apartment, potentially with roommates that already chose each other, if an individual does not submit a roommate request.

What does this have to do with the suicide?

1. Equality. If homosexual partners can choose to live together, heterosexual students should be afforded the same opportunity.

2. Privacy. A gay person may choose a roommate more amenable to his/her being gay....but that doesn't necessarily mean that the person would be the same sex. Women tend to be [although the gap continues to lessen] more open to living with gay men than heterosexual men, so being able to choose a roommate that will allow you to continue your homosexual relationship without fear of condemnation, regardless of said roommates gender, would be helpful.

3. The ability to maintain a more private lifestyle if one chooses. A homosexual male, wishing to keep his sexuality private from the general public, may opt to room with a woman so as to not draw attention to the fact that he is gay. The same would work for gay females.

These are just some of my opinions as to the benefit of changing current policy.

reply to post by lpowell0627


I agree with you that perhaps a gay male would want to live with a female because females are usually more tolerant than males, although the kid that committed suicided was filmed by both a male and a female. Not really sure why an opposite sex roommate would be more open minded than a gay person of the same sex. But even if all that is true, so basically a male can say he is gay so he can room with a female? What if it turns out he is not really gay? The college states they will not investigate his sexual preference so he could just be acting gay in order to be a female's roommate? Possibility?

The pilot program will involve more than 100 undergraduate students, including gay, lesbian and transgender students...The program will also be open to heterosexual students

So if the program is also open to heterosexuals, and a heterosexual female chooses to live with a male whom she assumes is gay, what if it turns out that he isn't? I guess the plan would backfire if the female was also gay, but then, still there'd be a problem, now there is a gay female who thought she'd be living with a gay male but he's actually a straight male. Sounds crazy but a college student could probably scheme something like this.

reply to post by filosophia


My dorm had co-ed floors. It was great. Girls were everywhere. Always lots of drama going on. I call it DD> Drunk Drama. Second semester I never even went in my room except to study....I didn't even sleep in my room.

What I'm confused about is why they would change the dorms to co-ed when the perpetrators were both sexes. So that means it's not just males bashing gays it both sexes. So having a gay room with the opposite sex won't change anything....I think?

Originally posted by filosophia
reply to post by lpowell0627

 

I agree with you that perhaps a gay male would want to live with a female because females are usually more tolerant than males, although the kid that committed suicided was filmed by both a male and a female. Not really sure why an opposite sex roommate would be more open minded than a gay person of the same sex.

Its about choice. If a gay student is trying to find a roommate tolerant of his/her sexual preferences, there are many more choices available if one opens up the possibility of that choice being from either sex. Dictating roommates can only be same-sex cuts the choice roughly in half.

But even if all that is true, so basically a male can say he is gay so he can room with a female? What if it turns out he is not really gay? The college states they will not investigate his sexual preference so he could just be acting gay in order to be a female's roommate? Possibility?

I think the problem is that you really don't understand the psyche behind this. A male student would not have to pretend to be gay in this situation...in the quest for equality, opposite sex roommates would be accepted no matter what sexual preference either party had....so long as both are willing / desire to room someone from the opposite sex. The college can not say that only gay students have this choice, for at least two reasons.

1. Opposite sex roommates in that case would be known to be gay simply by their housing arrangement. This is unfair to those students that wish to keep their sexuality private -- disclosing one's sexual preferences is a choice, not a requirement.

2. Allowing only gay / transgender students the option of same-sex housing would discriminate against heterosexual students that wish to have opposite sex roommates. Again, equality means all persons, regardless of race, sex, etc., are afforded the same options & choices.

The pilot program will involve more than 100 undergraduate students, including gay, lesbian and transgender students...The program will also be open to heterosexual students

So if the program is also open to heterosexuals, and a heterosexual female chooses to live with a male whom she assumes is gay, what if it turns out that he isn't? I guess the plan would backfire if the female was also gay, but then, still there'd be a problem, now there is a gay female who thought she'd be living with a gay male but he's actually a straight male. Sounds crazy but a college student could probably scheme something like this.


Have you ever been to college? I'm being serious and do not mean that in a negative way.

Generally when a person reaches college level, schemes such as the one you are describing fall by the wayside and are replaced by maturity. A student is not going to pretend to be gay to "land" a female roommate in the hopes that she will have a relationship with him once realizing he's not really gay. In the quest for a "little tail", which I believe is what you were really eluding to, choices are generally plentiful for both sexes. A frat party on any given Friday or Saturday night would do nicely.

The best roommates I ever had were of the opposite sex. For some people, this works. The college is merely trying to find solutions that may take some of the pressure off students of different lifestyles in the hopes of creating a more harmonious living arrangement whenever possible. If this entails mixing gay students with heterosexual students...fine. Male and female...fine. Two gay students, of either sex....fine.

Also, for a moment consider a transgender student. Sharing a room with someone of the same preference / mindset would definitely make life easier since mass public acceptance hasn't happened yet and a transgender lifestyle is rather hard to keep completely secret when living together. In this case, I believe that gender would matter way less than a common desire for this particular lifestyle.

The goal of college is for students to succeed and properly train them for their lifetime goals / dreams / career, etc. Creating a stressful living situation, when "home" is generally considered most people's "safe" place, is counterproductive to this goal.

Students should be able to focus on their studies, not worry about whether or not their roommate is secretly trying to tape / record their private life in the hopes of embarrassing him/her, outing him/her, etc.

reply to post by filosophia


she was his girlfriend wasn't she?

she didn't live with them, then.

Originally posted by fooks
reply to post by filosophia

 

she was his girlfriend wasn't she?

she didn't live with them, then.

Who are you talking about? If you are referring to the kid who committed suicide, he was gay so I doubt he had a girlfriend, and if you mean a girl that's his friend, would a friend video tape him having relations with another man and then post it on the internet? Even worse if it was his girlfriend.

Originally posted by lpowell0627


Have you ever been to college? I'm being serious and do not mean that in a negative way.

Generally when a person reaches college level, schemes such as the one you are describing fall by the wayside and are replaced by maturity. A student is not going to pretend to be gay to "land" a female roommate in the hopes that she will have a relationship with him once realizing he's not really gay.

Yes, I've been to college, which is why I know that certain guys will try to be gay in order to get with girls. You may think that all gay people have a psychological gene that makes them gay, and that may be true with people who are actually gay, but perhaps you underestimate what a male would do in order to get in the know with a female, they would basically do anything, including acting gay in order to make a girl put down her guard. It's not very smart, and it's pathetic, but it happens. I've seen it with my own eyes so you can't convince me otherwise.