Public Schools Conforming Children, stripping parents rights?

ok, I'm not sure if this belongs here so mods, if not please move it to the correct forum....

Public school are getting way out of line anymore. This is just ridiculous! The schools are taking away our rights as parents little by little.


I have two daughters one is in the 4th grade and the other is 15 and in the 8th grade. My oldest is constantly being harrassed by her principal about petty little things. Dress code and appearance. At the start of the school year my daughter had the underneath of her black hair dyed purple


(she did this over the summer and as you can see it was done tastefully) when school started I was told by this principal that her hair (the purple part)had to be changed to a natural color or she would not be allowed to attend school. I asked why? and she said because its a distraction to the other students.

What??? hair color is a distraction? So the principal is saying that if the students don't all look alike its a distraction? ok whatever, I argued with her to no avail so my daughter and I went and picked out a nice vibrant red and dyed the purple red. I send her to school only to be told that it wasn't good enough....now it needed to be all one color. Seriously? I mean I understand there are rules in place for the children's safety and such but? anyway to make a long story short her hair ended up all black. She was a little pissed and I was as well because I am her mother and I feel it should be up to me what is or isn't an appropriate hairstyle for my child.

now fast forward a few months and my daughter accidentally pulls a condom out of her purse at lunch. (now she has a condom because we've already had the birds and the bees talk and I told her that if she's even THINKING of having sex that she has to be the one responsible for being safe. I in no way condone a 15 year old having sex but in this day and age I feel that a girl MUST know how to protect herself since in my experience you can NOT count on the guy to do it.) Well,, a teacher see's the condom as she's hurrying to put it away and she gets sent to the principal who makes a big stink about it saying it was a disruption to the education blah blah... I get called in and we go rounds over this.

so int he midst of the argument over her having in school suspension for the incident the principal looks at my daughter and says "why do you need a condom anyway, you told the guidance counselor you might be gay"

I wanted so bad to jump up and slap this woman HARD. I am aware that my daughter thinks shes bi-sexual and think it in poor taste that the principal would use that against my child!

This scene ended up not going wella s you can imagine and the principal basically told me that I as a parent have no say in anythign when my child is attending the public school. No say what so ever. According to this woman my parents rights cease to exsist once my child enters the school!

this is so wrong! I want to do something about this but I have no idea what to do, who to talk to or anything. It;s just so frustrating that someone else has control of my children!

anyone out there have any ideas? have any of you dealt with this type of thing before? what did you do?

OMG!! that is unbelievable! Hair is a distraction? Safe sex is a bad thing? I'd move schools, but before that, I'd write to your local member of parliment, local paper, phone in the local radio, anything to get this publicised. This is totally out of order and those people have absolutely no right to tell you or you kids how to dress, look, stay safe ect. What is this, a Catholic school from the 18th century???

Easy peasy... Make an appointment with the superintendent for your area (the principle's boss). Explain what happened, threaten to sue the school for discrimination. See how it goes... I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at the abrupt reversal in your school's principals' attitude.

reply to post by thedarktower


No this is a local public school. I'm in America so no parliament. She also has two lip piercings which she takes out when she is in the school. I was told by the principal that I was a bad parent for allowing her to have her lip pierced. And also that I should not be giving her condoms because she's too young for sex.

well no # Mrs. Principal but I am not one of these parents with my head in the sand thinking my perfect little angel is going to stay a virgin until she's married. I know she's thinking about boys and sex and all of that and I;d rather have her EDUCATED on how to be safe than end up 15 and pregnant!

The principal has also said to me that my daughter dresses like a freak! Now, how professional is that? I don't even know where to begin complaining. I was thinking of going to the superintendent of the district but I have only my word and my daughters word against the principal. I would love to know how to gather evidence to use to bring against this woman because the petty harassment over outside appearance just boggles my mind, especially since my daughter is a solid merit roll student!

reply to post by undiscoveredsoul


seriously, this is harrassment. Maybe you could even go to the police? But they probably wouldn't be much help. When I was at school, the only problem with dress code was if girls wore ever low cut tops or short skirts, there were plenty of people with dyed hair, pericings and stuff. This is madness. Can you even move her to another school?

reply to post by undiscoveredsoul


Cookie cutter system is what it boils down to.
They want all the children to look alike and act
alike.

Originally posted by thedarktower
reply to post by undiscoveredsoul

 

seriously, this is harrassment. Maybe you could even go to the police? But they probably wouldn't be much help. When I was at school, the only problem with dress code was if girls wore ever low cut tops or short skirts, there were plenty of people with dyed hair, pericings and stuff. This is madness. Can you even move her to another school?

I wish I could but transportation would be an issue, however most of the school around here are the same, we are small town backwoods redneck type of town and my family and I do NOT fit in. I will be looking into taking it above her head though you can be sure of that!

reply to post by undiscoveredsoul


Hearing stuff like this makes my blood boil... that principal is SO wrong! In too many ways to count.

Good on you for standing up to them! More parents need to be as involved as you are... I know that if I had school-aged children, I'd be practically living at the school.

I remember this kind of nonsense from when I was in school... the clowns who are so full of their 'authority' are disrupting the education process WAY more than your kids are!

Purple hair a distraction? In 21st century USA? Give me a break!

Ok, let me get this straight, your 15 year old has condoms falling out of her purse, 2 lip piercings that you gave permission for and purple hair, but you have a problem with the principle who does not seem this behavior as normal?

Nay... this is not about the education system, this is about the personal bias' of the Principle. Your daughter has become a focused target and unfortunately, I doubt this will improve. As per another suggestion, consider taking this situation to the next level. If then, there is an unacceptable outcome, there does come a time when parents/students have to make tough decisions and if this school/environment is going to be a detriment to your daughter (and you cannot change that) then another environment may need to be investigated. Yes, I understand that sacrifices may have to be made, as well as tough choices, but this is about what's right for her and for you. The likelihood that the Principle will change, is close to zero - so will you? For her future growth? It's a question worth serious consideration...

Man that sucks hard core! I would of slapped the chick too. she was very unprofessional

Stuff like this makes me glad I'm home schooling mine. lets me establish good morals and teach them how to think. Not remember and regurgitate on command.

www.youtube.com...

hope that worked ..im new,

reply to post by undiscoveredsoul


I'm sorry that your daughter is going through this and unfortunately, I don't think the situation will get much better. Hopefully she has a good reputation/realtionship with her teachers (it would not surprise me if the principal is unpopular with the teachers). If changing schools is not an option, I would follow others suggestions and take it.

You're doing the right thing with her. As a parent, you need to pick and choose what battles you fight and hair color, removable piercings and clothes are not among them.

This nonsense is also a good lesson for her about intolerance and small mindedness. I would bet that she will grow up to be a tolerant woman and likely have good leadership abilities and empathy as a result.

I'd also bet that if you had a son who wore a dress to school they would leave him alone. They would be afraid of the lawsuits.

Originally posted by PresumedInnocent
Ok, let me get this straight, your 15 year old has condoms falling out of her purse, 2 lip piercings that you gave permission for and purple hair, but you have a problem with the principle who does not seem this behavior as normal?

Yes I do have a problem with the principal who sees anyone who is not "normal" as a disruption. It is discrimination and her hair, clothes and piercings harm no one.They also have no bearing what-so-ever on her grades. She holds a solid 3.4 GPA.

As for the condoms, if you read my post you would know that she has one with her just in case. If you think a 15 year old is not thinking of having sex in this day and age then you are a very very stupid person. I said I do not condone her having sex at her age but if she does go against my wishes and has sex then I want to know that she is protecting herself not only from an unwanted pregnancy but from disease as well. No matter how much I may want to be hovering over her 24/7 that is just not a realistic goal. I can only protect her so much and hope that my teachings have sunk in and that she will make the appropriate life choices. It is all any of us can do as parents.

This is some school your daughter is attending. I am twenty one so i finished HS not so long ago and I saw a really layed back principle while I was there and a ridiculous principal who said if a student doesn't have a full course schedule they cant attend (as they otherwise are then "loitering" between classes). So i know sometimes its entirely the beliefs of the principle that dictate what is acceptable for your daughter and yes that sounds absolutely wrong.

This guy definitley sounds very strict as I went to a catholic highschool and anyone could have their hair any colour and piercings wherever they wanted, the only rule was that the quilts(we wore uniforms but they were pretty nice) girls were wearing couldnt show their buttcheeks (obviously). Im in Ontario though.

Definitely a pickle your in with this douche of a principle. But like others said go over his head to the superintendent and save up all your anger, so you can give this guy one hell of a show courtesy of the principle.