Have You and Your Spouse Become Roommates ?

A common complaint voiced by marriage partners goes like this: We’ve grown apart and we’re more like room mates than best friends. If marriage is suppose to be growing in love together over the years, what happens that leads to the complaint, We’ve grown apart?

Here is an example i have 2 family members both been married for over 20 years.they dont sleep together with there spouses..each have there own tvs in diffrent rooms they never watch tv or movies together its like there just room mates not married couples ..

How many in here have this going on in there marriges where they have become the perfect room mates and why? what went wrong?

I wanted to stop by and say that though I would not like to go into detail about this particular subject personally, this is very rampant these days. Some people find it easier to stay with a person even if there is no more romance, just to avoid getting into another relationship. Its hard to have to "try" again these days IMHO.

S&F.

Peace, NRE.

reply to post by sugarcookie1


flaggin but not sayin

married 5 years..

roommates

i guess so...

roommates with "benefits"

reply to post by sugarcookie1


im in that situation now and i think she knows it. but its financiallyh hard times right now and i think we both silently dont want to the burden of giong it alone at the moment. especially with the costs of moving and everything.

that doesnt stop me from making plans though. i have been working on increasing my income and once its established , its on to the next one.

Originally posted by NoRegretsEver
I wanted to stop by and say that though I would not like to go into detail about this particular subject personally, this is very rampant these days. Some people find it easier to stay with a person even if there is no more romance, just to avoid getting into another relationship. Its hard to have to "try" again these days IMHO.

S&F.

Peace, NRE.

Thanks for stopping by..and yes Ive noticed its very popular Ive seen it in more then just my two family members i asked one of them one time about it and i got its (just easyer) lol

reply to post by darrman


roommates with "benefits" lol well thats one way of putting it..

Originally posted by donkeystyle
reply to post by sugarcookie1

 

im in that situation now and i think she knows it. but its financiallyh hard times right now and i think we both silently dont want to the burden of giong it alone at the moment. especially with the costs of moving and everything.

that doesnt stop me from making plans though. i have been working on increasing my income and once its established , its on to the next one.

I can understand not wanting the burden of going it alone on both your parts with the economy the way it is but i think it would be hard to have a relationship like that even as room mates..thanks for the reply

I must say you have hit it on the nail.
Yes we have,the kids watch cartoons,the wife watches
reality tv,
and I hunker down in the basement with the dogs.
We have split up several times and gotten back together.
Not because of financial means,but because we have a family and care for each other.
But with so much technology invading our lives,it has driven all of us apart it seems.

I think that its says alot that most people have a hard time discussing this in length. Its very touchy, and hard to admit. And even scarier to know that its happening to you. This is something that many live with, but not always voluntarily.

Its hard to think that you might be stuck in something that can be so unsettling, and not fair to either party.

Peace, NRE.

This could lead into bitching about the spouse post.
Cause believe me I am a veteran of divorce messages boards.
But I ain't going there and I ain't doing that.
And ...............ok gotta stop myself,sorry.

reply to post by kdog1982


It could also lead to a post where those that are unhappy can vent. Of course there will be the "its their fault" from time to time, but people that love each other do that .

Peace, NRE.

Not married, although I have been living with the same woman for years. We are "taking a break as of Saturday". I wont get into why but the point is recently we have had alot of issues that have made us grow apart. She comes from a family of lunatics who believe it is their way or the highway. They also have had a horrible relationship. I come from a family who has been married almost 32 years. I grew up watching them communicate and work through everything. She tends to act like her parents and not want to communicate. Long story short, I think alot of it depends on the relation you saw your parents have. It is one thing to love someone, but it is another to be in love with someone. Great thread by the way.

Originally posted by NoRegretsEver
reply to post by kdog1982

 

It could also lead to a post where those that are unhappy can vent. Of course there will be the "its their fault" from time to time, but people that love each other do that

.

Peace, NRE.

That is true ,passion....love and hate...goes hand in hand

Originally posted by kdog1982
I must say you have hit it on the nail.
Yes we have,the kids watch cartoons,the wife watches
reality tv,
and I hunker down in the basement with the dogs.
We have split up several times and gotten back together.
Not because of financial means,but because we have a family and care for each other.
But with so much technology invading our lives,it has driven all of us apart it seems.

I must say with tvs and computers and everyone doing there own thing in the home i can see how this is happening..and i do believe most in the room mate scenario do love and care for each other..I wonder if sometimes things just get comfortable..

reply to post by kdog1982


But..... then again it could turn into mine is worse then yours... Now that could get ugly.

Peace, NRE.

Boy,I could give you all alot of insight as well as you all could.
Came down to understanding what each other needed and compromises.
17 years married.

reply to post by kdog1982


That's awesome that you have been married for that long.

Originally posted by NoRegretsEver
I think that its says alot that most people have a hard time discussing this in length. Its very touchy, and hard to admit. And even scarier to know that its happening to you. This is something that many live with, but not always voluntarily.

Its hard to think that you might be stuck in something that can be so unsettling, and not fair to either party.

Peace, NRE.

I understand this is a hard topic and i imagine it is very scary if its happening to you,Ive been married 6 years and this hasn't happened yet but i can see how it could happen.
that's fine if people want to open up or rant..I posted this because I'm seeing so much of this even in my family..

Yes,it is but got real close to being divorce,I mean real close,twice.First her then me.
But when the final hour came we couldn't do it.

reply to post by kdog1982


But you pulled through. It is so easy to give up, too easy. You both pulled through. That takes a tremendous ammount of effort and you should be very proud.