Finding Joy In Pain

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posted on Feb, 23 2011 @ 08:30 PM
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There was a time when everything in life was going so well. Perhaps life was too good and complacency had set in. I may have let my guard down, not considering that bad thing's happen to good people...

My wife and I, after we discovered she was pregnant with our third child, decided to purchase a home. We found a beautiful four bedroom, three bath, two story home with a swimming pool. It could not be more perfect to raise a family. A room for every child and a garage for me in which I converted into a sports room with all the bells and whistles. I felt as though I achieved the American dream and for once in my life, I was content and happy. However, unbeknown to me, darkness loomed on the horizon that would steal my joy, shake my faith and perhaps my desire to live.

One evening my wife woke me up in the middle of the night complaining that she felt really sick and that she had a terrible pain in her right side. Being an addict, and having flashes of hypochondria, I was very familiar with the symptoms of appendicitis and rushed my wife to the emergency room. Shortly after our arrival they diagnosed her and prepped her for and emergency appendectomy. The surgery went without a hitch and they said that she would be released in a few days.

On the day of her discharge, the physician was doing my wife's exit exam, and came across a small lump on my wife's neck. He thought it best to have it looked at and reassured me that it was most likely nothing more than a swollen lymph node. Being an addict, lacking faith, and having flashes of doubt, I knew better.

One week after all the test's on that tiny little lump, my wife had a follow up appointment and insisted that I go to work and that she would go to the appointment alone. When I got home from work, my wife was in the front yard watering the grass. She looked stunningly beautiful on that day. Her long brown hair neatly pinned up and her small beautiful frame covered in my Boston Celtic jersey, a piece of heaven, I'll leave it at that. As I pulled into the driveway I was so relieved to see the usual excitement and big beaming smile on her face as she greeted my arrival. Before she could get a word out I said, "well?" "What did they say?" She hugged me as I got out of my car and said," baby, it is cancer." Blood rushed to my head and knots tied in my stomach, the warmth of life was instantly filled with needles of ice surging through my veins... I thought I was going to pass out. I would love to tell you what my reply and reaction was, but the memory eludes me. But I do remember thinking in the days that followed, how can this be? What have I done God? I have always been a faithful husband in thought, word and deed. "Please!" I begged in tears, "don't take my baby from me."

During the time of her treatment, I literally became the walking dead. I stayed home from work, abused alcohol and pills again, and I couldn't be apart from her despite the financial obligations I had to keep a roof over my families head. We did the surgery and treatment and the Doctor said that he felt got it all and that the cancer should not return. Being an addict, lacking hope and having flashes of despair...I knew better.

In short, the cancer came back and we underwent more surgery to remove some lymph nodes in which the cancer had spread. I continued to stay at home falling far behind on my mortgage, drinking and abusing pills to numb myself from the dreadful thought of losing my wife to the hands of this horrible disease. Within a few months we were going to lose our home. What followed however, would forever change our lives.

I was greeted by an elderly man holding some papers one Monday morning at my front door. He stated that he was here to foreclose on my home and that he had some papers for me to sign. He also said that he had to put a foreclosure sign in my front yard. I was saddened at the reality that I was actually going to lose our home. There was nothing I could do, it was a done deal. Out of nowhere the gentleman said," I hope you don't mind son, but could you tell me why you are losing your home?" I went on to explain my circumstance and he followed my explanation by saying," I am so sorry to hear that, would you mind if I came into your home and pray with you and your wife. I found his request rather odd in that I had not made known my faith,but agreed and we went into my home. I introduced the elderly gentleman and his request to my wife and we sat on the couch. The man then knelt on the floor before us while holding our hands and began whispering the most wonderful prayer. Immediately I felt the Spirit lift my grief doubt and fear and replace it with peace, joy and faith. He hugged my wife and I and said, "God is with you son it will all be alright, put your doubts and fears in His hands." In tears I thanked him and walked him out the front door. As he was leaving I said," do you do this with all the people you foreclose on?" He smile and laughed a bit and said," no my boy, this is the first time in all my years I've done that." I said,"well what made you want to pray with us?" He smiled warmly and pulled the collar of his shirt down reveling a scar on his neck, the same scar in which my wife had from her surgery and said," I too had cancer, you and your wife are going to be fine." He turned and walked away and got into his car and drive off never to enter my life again.

Instead of being distraught over the loss of our home, and wrecked with anxiety over my wife's health. I knew that we were going to be fine. I then could care less about material things, I knew God was with us and that he loved us. I also knew that my wife's cancer was not going to return, praise be to Him. Now some may say that these series of events was not God and it is all just coincidental...Being a recovering addict, with restored faith, and having flashes of God touching my life... I know better.




posted on Feb, 23 2011 @ 08:49 PM
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Congratulations.You see God really does love you.He walks with me every day.Even though I don't deserve it ,he has always cared for me.I am humbled by his presence in my life.



posted on Feb, 24 2011 @ 01:43 AM
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Originally posted by BLKMJK
There was a time when everything in life was going so well. Perhaps life was too good and complacency had set in. I may have let my guard down, not considering that bad thing's happen to good people...

My wife and I, after we discovered she was pregnant with our third child, decided to purchase a home. We found a beautiful four bedroom, three bath, two story home with a swimming pool. It could not be more perfect to raise a family. A room for every child and a garage for me in which I converted into a sports room with all the bells and whistles. I felt as though I achieved the American dream and for once in my life, I was content and happy. However, unbeknown to me, darkness loomed on the horizon that would steal my joy, shake my faith and perhaps my desire to live.

One evening my wife woke me up in the middle of the night complaining that she felt really sick and that she had a terrible pain in her right side. Being an addict, and having flashes of hypochondria, I was very familiar with the symptoms of appendicitis and rushed my wife to the emergency room. Shortly after our arrival they diagnosed her and prepped her for and emergency appendectomy. The surgery went without a hitch and they said that she would be released in a few days.

On the day of her discharge, the physician was doing my wife's exit exam, and came across a small lump on my wife's neck. He thought it best to have it looked at and reassured me that it was most likely nothing more than a swollen lymph node. Being an addict, lacking faith, and having flashes of doubt, I knew better.

One week after all the test's on that tiny little lump, my wife had a follow up appointment and insisted that I go to work and that she would go to the appointment alone. When I got home from work, my wife was in the front yard watering the grass. She looked stunningly beautiful on that day. Her long brown hair neatly pinned up and her small beautiful frame covered in my Boston Celtic jersey, a piece of heaven, I'll leave it at that. As I pulled into the driveway I was so relieved to see the usual excitement and big beaming smile on her face as she greeted my arrival. Before she could get a word out I said, "well?" "What did they say?" She hugged me as I got out of my car and said," baby, it is cancer." Blood rushed to my head and knots tied in my stomach, the warmth of life was instantly filled with needles of ice surging through my veins... I thought I was going to pass out. I would love to tell you what my reply and reaction was, but the memory eludes me. But I do remember thinking in the days that followed, how can this be? What have I done God? I have always been a faithful husband in thought, word and deed. "Please!" I begged in tears, "don't take my baby from me."

During the time of her treatment, I literally became the walking dead. I stayed home from work, abused alcohol and pills again, and I couldn't be apart from her despite the financial obligations I had to keep a roof over my families head. We did the surgery and treatment and the Doctor said that he felt got it all and that the cancer should not return. Being an addict, lacking hope and having flashes of despair...I knew better.

In short, the cancer came back and we underwent more surgery to remove some lymph nodes in which the cancer had spread. I continued to stay at home falling far behind on my mortgage, drinking and abusing pills to numb myself from the dreadful thought of losing my wife to the hands of this horrible disease. Within a few months we were going to lose our home. What followed however, would forever change our lives.

I was greeted by an elderly man holding some papers one Monday morning at my front door. He stated that he was here to foreclose on my home and that he had some papers for me to sign. He also said that he had to put a foreclosure sign in my front yard. I was saddened at the reality that I was actually going to lose our home. There was nothing I could do, it was a done deal. Out of nowhere the gentleman said," I hope you don't mind son, but could you tell me why you are losing your home?" I went on to explain my circumstance and he followed my explanation by saying," I am so sorry to hear that, would you mind if I came into your home and pray with you and your wife. I found his request rather odd in that I had not made known my faith,but agreed and we went into my home. I introduced the elderly gentleman and his request to my wife and we sat on the couch. The man then knelt on the floor before us while holding our hands and began whispering the most wonderful prayer. Immediately I felt the Spirit lift my grief doubt and fear and replace it with peace, joy and faith. He hugged my wife and I and said, "God is with you son it will all be alright, put your doubts and fears in His hands." In tears I thanked him and walked him out the front door. As he was leaving I said," do you do this with all the people you foreclose on?" He smile and laughed a bit and said," no my boy, this is the first time in all my years I've done that." I said,"well what made you want to pray with us?" He smiled warmly and pulled the collar of his shirt down reveling a scar on his neck, the same scar in which my wife had from her surgery and said," I too had cancer, you and your wife are going to be fine." He turned and walked away and got into his car and drive off never to enter my life again.

Instead of being distraught over the loss of our home, and wrecked with anxiety over my wife's health. I knew that we were going to be fine. I then could care less about material things, I knew God was with us and that he loved us. I also knew that my wife's cancer was not going to return, praise be to Him. Now some may say that these series of events was not God and it is all just coincidental...Being a recovering addict, with restored faith, and having flashes of God touching my life... I know better.

What an utterly awesome account, thank you so much for it! (I find I am tearing up, and as Cathleen Falsani said in her book "Sin Boldly", when that happens, it's a sign of grace.
Thank you for bringing grace into my life!
Vicky



posted on Feb, 24 2011 @ 10:41 AM
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reply to post by BLKMJK
 


S&F

The reason God allows extreme adversity to enter our lives is because He knows that in the midst of it we will run to Him. If you are a Christian and have the Holy Spirit you need to rebuke the spirit of cancer attacking your wife, and declare her healed by the power and blood of Jesus Christ.



edit on 24-2-2011 by NOTurTypical because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 24 2011 @ 10:42 AM
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Thank you for your story and I am sorry for all the suffering you have gone through but am happy you have found a way to get through it



posted on Feb, 26 2011 @ 07:48 PM
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Thank you all for your kind remarks and comments. My wife has been cancer free for 5 years now. We have been through an enormous amount of hardship during our 18 years of marriage but we are still going strong.

In His Grace,
BLKMJK



posted on Mar, 18 2011 @ 10:27 PM
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Originally posted by Vicky32

Originally posted by BLKMJK
There was a time when everything in life was going so well. Perhaps life was too good and complacency had set in. I may have let my guard down, not considering that bad thing's happen to good people...

My wife and I, after we discovered she was pregnant with our third child, decided to purchase a home. We found a beautiful four bedroom, three bath, two story home with a swimming pool. It could not be more perfect to raise a family. A room for every child and a garage for me in which I converted into a sports room with all the bells and whistles. I felt as though I achieved the American dream and for once in my life, I was content and happy. However, unbeknown to me, darkness loomed on the horizon that would steal my joy, shake my faith and perhaps my desire to live.

One evening my wife woke me up in the middle of the night complaining that she felt really sick and that she had a terrible pain in her right side. Being an addict, and having flashes of hypochondria, I was very familiar with the symptoms of appendicitis and rushed my wife to the emergency room. Shortly after our arrival they diagnosed her and prepped her for and emergency appendectomy. The surgery went without a hitch and they said that she would be released in a few days.

On the day of her discharge, the physician was doing my wife's exit exam, and came across a small lump on my wife's neck. He thought it best to have it looked at and reassured me that it was most likely nothing more than a swollen lymph node. Being an addict, lacking faith, and having flashes of doubt, I knew better.

One week after all the test's on that tiny little lump, my wife had a follow up appointment and insisted that I go to work and that she would go to the appointment alone. When I got home from work, my wife was in the front yard watering the grass. She looked stunningly beautiful on that day. Her long brown hair neatly pinned up and her small beautiful frame covered in my Boston Celtic jersey, a piece of heaven, I'll leave it at that. As I pulled into the driveway I was so relieved to see the usual excitement and big beaming smile on her face as she greeted my arrival. Before she could get a word out I said, "well?" "What did they say?" She hugged me as I got out of my car and said," baby, it is cancer." Blood rushed to my head and knots tied in my stomach, the warmth of life was instantly filled with needles of ice surging through my veins... I thought I was going to pass out. I would love to tell you what my reply and reaction was, but the memory eludes me. But I do remember thinking in the days that followed, how can this be? What have I done God? I have always been a faithful husband in thought, word and deed. "Please!" I begged in tears, "don't take my baby from me."

During the time of her treatment, I literally became the walking dead. I stayed home from work, abused alcohol and pills again, and I couldn't be apart from her despite the financial obligations I had to keep a roof over my families head. We did the surgery and treatment and the Doctor said that he felt got it all and that the cancer should not return. Being an addict, lacking hope and having flashes of despair...I knew better.

In short, the cancer came back and we underwent more surgery to remove some lymph nodes in which the cancer had spread. I continued to stay at home falling far behind on my mortgage, drinking and abusing pills to numb myself from the dreadful thought of losing my wife to the hands of this horrible disease. Within a few months we were going to lose our home. What followed however, would forever change our lives.

I was greeted by an elderly man holding some papers one Monday morning at my front door. He stated that he was here to foreclose on my home and that he had some papers for me to sign. He also said that he had to put a foreclosure sign in my front yard. I was saddened at the reality that I was actually going to lose our home. There was nothing I could do, it was a done deal. Out of nowhere the gentleman said," I hope you don't mind son, but could you tell me why you are losing your home?" I went on to explain my circumstance and he followed my explanation by saying," I am so sorry to hear that, would you mind if I came into your home and pray with you and your wife. I found his request rather odd in that I had not made known my faith,but agreed and we went into my home. I introduced the elderly gentleman and his request to my wife and we sat on the couch. The man then knelt on the floor before us while holding our hands and began whispering the most wonderful prayer. Immediately I felt the Spirit lift my grief doubt and fear and replace it with peace, joy and faith. He hugged my wife and I and said, "God is with you son it will all be alright, put your doubts and fears in His hands." In tears I thanked him and walked him out the front door. As he was leaving I said," do you do this with all the people you foreclose on?" He smile and laughed a bit and said," no my boy, this is the first time in all my years I've done that." I said,"well what made you want to pray with us?" He smiled warmly and pulled the collar of his shirt down reveling a scar on his neck, the same scar in which my wife had from her surgery and said," I too had cancer, you and your wife are going to be fine." He turned and walked away and got into his car and drive off never to enter my life again.

Instead of being distraught over the loss of our home, and wrecked with anxiety over my wife's health. I knew that we were going to be fine. I then could care less about material things, I knew God was with us and that he loved us. I also knew that my wife's cancer was not going to return, praise be to Him. Now some may say that these series of events was not God and it is all just coincidental...Being a recovering addict, with restored faith, and having flashes of God touching my life... I know better.

What an utterly awesome account, thank you so much for it! (I find I am tearing up, and as Cathleen Falsani said in her book "Sin Boldly", when that happens, it's a sign of grace.
Thank you for bringing grace into my life!
Vicky


That is the reason I have posted this true event on allot of forums. I did not deserve any sort of grace yet it was given just when I needed it most. Not in my perceived time but His.



posted on Jan, 27 2012 @ 07:31 PM
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reply to post by BLKMJK
 


WHAT A WONDERFUL NARRATIVE.

There is no comparison to the joys out of such pains.

It is almost as though we need the contrast to experience such joys.

Thanks much for sharing that with us.



posted on Jan, 27 2012 @ 08:13 PM
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reply to post by BLKMJK
 


That is what is so great about Grace. None of us deserve it but God gives it to us anyway. Thank you for sharing your wonderful testimony.



posted on Jun, 12 2012 @ 09:52 PM
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Very touching story. I think when we are at our lowest we somehow seem to shine the brightest in God's eyes drawing his Angels too us. I am glad to hear your wife is cancer free and you are picking up the pieces of your life.





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