The I.N.T.A.S.T.E.L.L.A.B.U.R.S.T. System, To Get The Girl of Your Dreams.

page: 1
13
<<   2  3 >>

log in

join

posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 01:05 AM
link   
I dont know if anyone has heard of the D.E.N.N.I.S. sytem, .... but if you havent I offer something similar, a complete all in one guide to seduce any Lady.

So let us begin ...

I - Initate contact. Maybe your out walking your dog, and he accidentaly attacks a lovely young lady ( which he is trained to do )

N- Nuture feelings of security, you immediately handle the threat ( by shooting your dog) and taking her back to your place to bandage her up.

T - Touch her, .... not in that way !! not yet .... you sicko's, ... but place a friendly hand on her thigh to let her know your interested.

A - Ask for her number

S - Stalk her !! gather some inside information to help you succeed, if she likes ice skating, .. guess what, so do you.

T - Telephone as an angry neighbor, or psychopathic killer, ... make sure you use a voice changer.

E - Enter the protector, .... i.e. You.

L - Level with her, ... tell her this psychopath is probably going to kill her unless your not around for protection.

L - Look for excuses to come over, .... maybe her drain is clogged up ( because you stuck a bunch of socks in it ) and she needs you to come over and unclog it.

A - Always display dominance, dont be affraid to throw your weight around, ... and show everyone whos boss.

B - But never take a beating, ... when trouble comes you trip her and make your getaway.

U - Uncover her darkest secrets .... to use against her in the future

R - Run away, .... because your affraid of intimacy.

S- Seem conflicted, .... Make it seem like your affraid of your emotions, but desperately want it to work, ... this will make for one last passionate night.

T - Terminate Relationship.


There you have it Buckaroo's..... my sure fire method of seduction.


However before anyone gets too riled up... remember kid, ... this is for entertainment purposes only




posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 01:07 AM
link   
You're single right?? ahh yes...

Kinda reminds me of "Im a Martys way of picking up a chick"...... go into a pen, kick the chicken out the way, and pick up said chick!

Honestly, good luck with the picking up of girl of your dreams...... I'd suspect she'd be an inmate





posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 01:10 AM
link   
reply to post by IntastellaBurst
 


Wow stella. Seems to me like you know more about these things then most people here combined. The question here though is will people take the bait?



posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 01:11 AM
link   
reply to post by Im a Marty
 



This is true Marty...... I AM single....


but am currently taking applications ....



posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 01:15 AM
link   
Cute but risky. Just saying



posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 01:36 AM
link   
Sho, Buddy, you are so far off… at this rate you’ll stay single long enough to develop another belly button. Seriously!
Don’t ever do ANY of those things! That’s psycho.

And kids, don’t read this and think, “That might work, it sounds like a great plan!” It’s not! Look up The Game by Neil Straus if you don’t believe me.

Dude, you gotta think about the kids…



posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 01:49 AM
link   
reply to post by Monkeygod333
 







Don’t ever do ANY of those things



..... of course not..... what are you, Insane !!!


I can't beleieve you even considered it ......



posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 01:54 AM
link   
My system is similar and has always worked a bit like this

1) Drink heavily in a group of people.
2) Wake up next to strange woman and try , like Hell, to put a name to the face.
3) Act interested in woman to keep from hurting her feelings.
4) Find out women is pregnant from night you cannot remember.
5) Marry woman.
6) Go on Maury. Hear words "You are NOT the father!"
7) File for divorce.
8) Go out drinking, with group of people to celebrate divorce.
9) See steps 1 & 2.

That, right there.... the last 26 years of my life....

~Heff



posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 03:15 AM
link   
So this is how you pick up chicks??? Knew I was doing something wrong



posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 05:22 AM
link   
I would just like to add that you should always sleep with her right before breaking up with her. Its really hard to do it the other way around.



posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 05:26 AM
link   
See, back in the good ole days it was perfectly acceptable for the man to go out, club a potential mate over the head and then return to the cave for some action.Yet nowadays, with feminism and the whole "political correct" brigade, this type of behavior would be frowned upon, even land you in Jail.

Now your expected to wine and dine, pretend to be someone more interesting than you are and basically emotionally manipulate a fellow human being in to sharing their time with you. pfft



posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 02:21 PM
link   
reply to post by woodwardjnr
 


It's a good thing we have stella to show us the way, huh

He's a master manipulator.



posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 03:10 PM
link   
Damn it Stella, I tried this and it completely backfired!



posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 04:46 PM
link   
reply to post by Lurkerlaker
 



It's hit and miss really, ...

Theres a fine line between love and a restraining order I always say....


... but its a chance we take.



posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 07:17 PM
link   
How about the V.I.R.T.U.O.S.O. system?


V - Victimize yourself to make them feel sorry for you
I - Intimidate their boy friend
R - Review stella's process for dating women
T - Try to sound like you're a normal person (this one's tough)
U - Use them for your own agenda
O - Open your heart to them
S - Sike! Just kidding!
O - Open their wallet and take whatever money and credit cards are inside.
edit on 22-2-2011 by v1rtu0s0 because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 07:20 PM
link   

Originally posted by v1rtu0s0
How about the V.I.R.T.U.O.S.O. system?


V - Victomize yourself to make them feel sorry for you
I - Intimidate their boy friend
R - Review stella's process for dating women
T - Try to sound like your a normal person (this one's tough)
U - Use them for your own agenda
O - Open your heart to them
S - Sike! Just kidding!
O - Open their wallet and take whatever money and credit cards are inside.



lmao nice one ...



posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 07:34 PM
link   
god you guys all suck

the system that works and well i might add it this...

A) always make the first move ( weather you male or female it really doesnt matter)
L) lie and say you love them at first sight .
Y) yikes , the first two failed utterly.
S) show them the door to your bedroom blindfolded.
H ) have they got your number yet?
A ask them their name.
A) asprine , your ll be needing it the next morning
N) nothing much happened the night before.
G) get out now
E) entertain them as you see fit
L )leave them



posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 07:42 PM
link   
Hefficide, ... Virtuoso...... Alysha .....


... I can't believe you guys.....



BRILLIANT !!!!!



posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 07:52 PM
link   
Wheres the part about ruining her credit?



posted on Feb, 22 2011 @ 08:10 PM
link   

Originally posted by Lysergic
Wheres the part about ruining her credit?



That's in the Lysergic system. It's the R


L
Y
S
E
R - Ruin her credit
G
I
C





new topics
top topics
 
13
<<   2  3 >>

log in

join