I dont know if anyone has heard of the D.E.N.N.I.S. sytem, .... but if you havent I offer something similar, a complete all in one guide to seduce
So let us begin ...
I - Initate contact. Maybe your out walking your dog, and he accidentaly attacks a lovely young lady ( which he is trained to do )
N- Nuture feelings of security, you immediately handle the threat ( by shooting your dog) and taking her back to your place to bandage her up.
T - Touch her, .... not in that way !! not yet .... you sicko's, ... but place a friendly hand on her thigh to let her know your interested.
A - Ask for her number
S - Stalk her !! gather some inside information to help you succeed, if she likes ice skating, .. guess what, so do you.
T - Telephone as an angry neighbor, or psychopathic killer, ... make sure you use a voice changer.
E - Enter the protector, .... i.e. You.
L - Level with her, ... tell her this psychopath is probably going to kill her unless your not around for protection.
L - Look for excuses to come over, .... maybe her drain is clogged up ( because you stuck a bunch of socks in it ) and she needs you to come
over and unclog it.
A - Always display dominance, dont be affraid to throw your weight around, ... and show everyone whos boss.
B - But never take a beating, ... when trouble comes you trip her and make your getaway.
U - Uncover her darkest secrets .... to use against her in the future
R - Run away, .... because your affraid of intimacy.
S- Seem conflicted, .... Make it seem like your affraid of your emotions, but desperately want it to work, ... this will make for one last
T - Terminate Relationship.
There you have it Buckaroo's..... my sure fire method of seduction.
However before anyone gets too riled up... remember kid, ... this is for entertainment purposes only