reply to post by mossme89
Ummm..... When I was in HS, and JHS and grade school, I was picked on unmercifully, bullied and beaten by that type that smirk as they cause torment,
degradation and pain. I had no understanding then, I couldn't comprehend the why? You see, I was a wonderful, fragile, trusting and compassionate
soul who was cursed with physical beauty. When your a boy, you shouldn't be the best looking in class, you shouldn't be "prettier" than all the
girls. There are years of memories that I buried so deep that I can't find them still. Remembering and half remembering the other, larger, stronger,
boys, my "friends" forcing me to the ground as they unzipped, held my head and forced their penises into my mouth.
Withdrawing into a shell so deep that in my seventh year I refused to come back from the anesthesia while having my tonsils out. Flash forward to JHS,
still the "prettiest", thin, frail and innocently compassionate boy, the bloody noses the feet planted up the backside, the bruises, the
humiliation. A classmate tells me that "they wouldn't pound you so much, if you only fought back."
That was a turning point of sorts...
The smallest boy in class, had, had enough, a monster was born. I chose the biggest of the big, I chose the place and the time, I chose to stand.
One of the school bullies was picking on another victim and I stopped it, I remember sitting on his chest, raining every injustice, every filthy,
evil, sadistic episode, down upon his face.
He never had a chance, and from then on, until I moved away from that school the traditional poundees had protection, in the form of a small, thin,
I loved to fight, it was my drug of choice, until one day I beat another bully so incredibly senseless that he almost died.
I Then sought to understand the......why.......I studied self and human nature, connection and interaction, action and reaction.......I came full
circle....I understand what makes a child a bully or prey, what makes an adult a saint or sadist....I found compassion, along with comprehension and I
forgave them all, because they truly knew not what they did, or how they grew to be what they were.
I won't tell you that my path, was right.....it only.....was
I won't tell you to sacrifice your core, as I did.
I will tell you that every life, every moment, every particle and participant is unique, is amazing, that it even.......is