reply to post by mossme89
Hmmm Interestingly your HS life sounds like a carbon copy of my own to a degree, and im sure many others lives also. I was bullied relentlessly
mentally and physically during primary, intermediate and most of early highschool, i was the geek, the outcast, the odd kid (Kids seem to despise the
unique). Although you seem to have a little more self confidence than I ever did in that you actually try to interact with these people still not to
mention interaction with girls, which even now makes me break out in a cold sweat
. I was the kid with the uncool haircut from a poorish family in
a rich residential area, hand me down cloths and over assertive personality, imagination and interests outside the norm of sport and the latest rock
band or toy craze (e.g UFO's, Inventions (I used to make alot of my own toys from wood and card), Cryptozoology and sci-fi fantasy etc)... oh the 80's
what a decade of consumerism conformity... then again whats changed, from he-man and gi-joe to cellphones and Ipods.
For me I only ever had a single best friend at any one time throughout childhood school, however often such friendships would suddenly end after years
of good times, through no fault of my own... literally one day id turn up to school and my best friend would tell me to get lost in a Jeckle and Hyde
moment as they where part of the in crowd now or they thought I was a geek (or latter id learn from others that they where in fact never my friend to
begin with and just had pitty for me).. this happened more than once. To say it crushed me mentally is an understatement, but childhood friendships
are often fickle things and as an adult i can see that clearly and times allowed me to realize it means little in the long run. However to give your
all to a friendship and find the other person just one days throws it in your face, it still hurts.
The time it started to change for me was the last 2 years of HS, 6th and 7th form for us in my country. It was around this time that everyone started
concentrating more on academic grades rather than social status within the great teen heirachy. Not to mention most of the bullies who tended to be
less than average intellect had all left school by then to seek employment or had been kicked out, those who where still around had also matured
slightly and while still nasty weren't quite as frequent in their attacks. Id also developed a group of friends like yourself (although i still had
only a single best friend) which helped immensely since our group did alot of after school stuff together (arcades, movies, bowling etc). Also I think
in many ways what helped for me, was that HS for me was at a boys only school, while this increased some areas of the bullying it removed huge areas
of other potential bullying since there was no girl factor involved (alot of my primary school/ intermediate bullies went to the co-ed school which
was good)... in many ways I think such single sex schools are the way to go, really cuts out the distraction and curbs the hormonal head butting.
Socially my early childhood and HS did effect me and still does socially, I find it hard to interact with people (the internet is a different kettle
of fish, here im a faceless entity, pure personality and opinion), talking to women is still damn hard and often ill come across cold or stammer like
a twit or mangle my sentences. Ill also find myself thinking people are getting at me when in reality they might not be, that glance might have been
just a glance and not the scornful or mocking look I thought they gave me (granted I really have had strangers look down their nose at me or laugh).
Ultimately does it really matter what anyone thinks... no not really, although getting over that mental hurdle is tricky.
The one thing I can say is, I survived the physical attacks, mental drumming and humiliations... and because of that I can say while not a perfect
win, I did win as I didnt quit the game as do so many teens do now days on such frivolous things as text and Facebook bullying (its kinda cold but the
teens now days have such weak self confidence and will power im surprised they dont literally die the moment they find that their older siblings eaten
the last of the breakfast cereal that morning or if someone calls them a name they dont pull out a gun and shoot themselves on the spot).
I have now spent more time out of school than I ever spent within the school system... and its just a distant memory filled with good and bad times.
The thing is, it really when i think about it has no bearing on my life now what so ever, none of the social aspects that plagued that period matter
or really ever did to begin with. School is that annoying hurdle between birth and the rest of your life. Sure the mental scars remain there and they
do effect my life but only if I let them. Where HS is insular and thats its main problem, the outside world is vast. The average stranger on the
street or over the counter doesn't know you, they have their own daily problems to deal with your just another unknown human as are they to you... and
if they are nasty to a stranger like yourself, you can be rest assured in the fact they are like that to everyone else... and in a way should be
So what I say to you is, endure, you havent got long to go till the game changes... since in the long run, once its all over and your out in the great
adult world its different, sure there are still @$$holes and douches but they get their comeuppances in the long run and pretty much everyone else is
nice, or at least will treat you nice if you do so likewise. HS is just a crappy blip on the road of life...
As to your 'creepy' behavior... Ill say it is a little odd (im an introvert and shy/restrained person by nature), while not bad you have to realize
that your actions can be taken that way especially by a fellow teenager (who are all fairly antisocial to begin with), and they wont appreciate it, in
a way your lucky to have the social attitude you have, you dodged the surly grumpy teen bullet all the rest get struck by. So rather than act on it,
give them a verbal version of a hug, a hi or a hello, cheer up etc it shows you care but retains that distance thats required, they can snide you for
it, but that just makes them look callous since you've done nothing to deserve it.
As for women... well I can understand your plight, although for me its more "why the hell would a girl like that, like a jerk like him, but would find
me unsuitable, am I really that ugly?, unmanly"... although one thing ive learned form that is that, that is just women in general
or at least
the ones in my country... any woman that says they like personality over looks is lying through her teeth
, bitter.. or the truth? Its a hard road
finding the perfect woman but eventually you'll get to the end. Teenagers really are in most ways are far to immature for relationships, or at the
least any that would actually last or have meaning, although there are exceptions so dont fret over any thing like that while at HS.
Ultimately though, the key to surviving for me is Family... which I was lucky to have, while school life was hell there was at least the stability and
care of my family, pets and the safety of my home... the shoulder to cry on. You've made it this far so i guess you also have a good family
If social interaction makes you happy, then there are quite a few jobs you'd find perfectly suited to your desires in the outside world. Id definitely
advise you to get into one, you seem to have the kind of personality that would be well served by it.
Not sure if that was worth it in typing... but your not alone in your experiences, and its not the end of the world, once your out of HS and hit your
20's it'll be different.
edit on 18-2-2011 by BigfootNZ because: meh