reply to post by mossme89
Oh, there is so much stupidity in this thread, that it kind of Embarrasses me.
First off, mossme89, Don't listen to the people who tell you to just "Be yourself", because they are apparently assuming that you are not already
It is a cliche, throwaway pseudo-wisdom line that people tell to others, when they haven't the foggiest Idea about what to say.
Honestly... it's embarrassing.
Secondly, You want social Interaction in High School?
You best learn to berate others to make yourself look more important than you actually are.
High School is essentially where humans are the most vicious and cruel, thanks to minimal parental and adult supervision during social interaction.
If you want to know what makes you seem "Better" socially, just study animals. Be Aggressive (Not Violent) Be Assertive, Assume that you are the
best thing EVER, and Fake it ALL.
High Schoolers can't tell the difference between Real confidence, and Fake Confidence.
I've been bullied and have been an outcast my entire life. I struggle with social norms with what to do and what not to do. I've gotten a lot
better, but still mess up a lot. Whether it's saying the wrong think, doing the wrong thing, hanging around too long, etc.
Yes, the bullying is a show of dominance, just like in the animal kingdom.... If you BULLY, you are seen as "Alpha" by a psychological mechanism
known as "Social Proof" (also, "Information Cascades"), and if you are BEING BULLIED, you are seen as Weak, less attractive, less Socially "High
High Schoolers are basically like animals man... Animals.
If I do something socially awkward and the person seems offended/weirded out, it makes me feel terrible because oftentimes, I lose a possible
friendship, and quite frankly, I could use all the friends I can get.
Often times, it is your feelings of guilt or awkwardness that causes them to GET weirded out.
If you say something, Say it with conviction, and confidence... it doesn't matter *WHAT* you say, because High Schoolers do not LISTEN to what you
say, they only pay attention to HOW you say it...
Because they are ANIMALS.
I'm usually pretty confident, but then I have times like this where I did something socially awkward with good intentions (I went up to
someone I know during her lacrosse game when she was on the bench to give her a high five, and she snapped and got mad at me for coming
That happened, because you are seen as low on the Social Ladder, and that person did not want to have their Social position lowered by associating
Don't believe me?
Talk to them when no-one else is around, and see if they still get angry with you.
and I feel terrible. And I just feel sort of invisible sometimes, like I don't matter.
Listen... and Listen Good.
Do not judge yourself by how well you WIN or LOSE at stupid Games that DO NOT MATTER.
These people are, for lack of a better word, DIRT.
Anyone who would judge you, based on the prior judgments of others, or your self confidence, or whatever... is not deserving of the most basic human
YOU matter to *YOU*
IF they think you don't matter, it is because they judge people on the most superficial criteria (Get USED to it, it happens everywhere in America,
and No, High school does not end after senior year, it just gets more subtle)
Another part of this is that I feel I'm not good enough sometimes. It hurts to meet an awesome girl with a great personality only to find out
she has a bf.
Girls are attracted to Social Status, and Dominance... they do not become women until they evolve past this High School Mentality.
Again, Get Used to it.
There are all different of groups and personalities. I'm sort of eccentric and unique and am unlike anyone else.
And that's the problem.... you *ARE* unique... you are "Different" you don't fit into the "Social Group"
And that is something that the Animals don't like.... things that are Different.
Have you ever noticed that the most popular people are usually the most plastic, homogeneous people there?
Yes, Conformity is Popularity.
If you do not conform to the "Status Quo" you will not be popular at all.
I really care about people and it just hurts when I'm treated like a stalker in return, makes me really doubt myself, you know?
Look, how you behave around other people does not matter.
You are not being labeled a "Stalker" because of how you act.
You are being labeled a "Stalker" because you are not popular.
I wish there was an easy way to break this to you... but they look down on you, because you don't act how everyone ELSE acts... you don't think
how everyone ELSE thinks, and they see you as a threat.
They might even be spreading rumors about you behind your back... this is how they think, this is how the keep their dominant position in the social
Please don't say to focus on my grades.
Yeah, that one went over pretty well, eh?
That seems to be one of the primary cookie cutter responses, don't it?
People don't seem to understand how important a social life is to me.
It's not that they don't understand, it's that they don't CARE.
If they CARED, they would be giving you Real Advice, and the Truth, instead of sugar coated platitudes not fit for the unwashed proles.
Don't get me wrong, i still go through the motions of "learning" (if you can call it that) in school, keep my grades up, but it feels empty
and doesn't make me happy.
IT is empty, it is designed to make you conform, so that you will never question authority.
Those who submit their minds to the authority of the hierarchical structure get rewarded with social interaction.
Those who are still able to use their minds, and don't just regurgitate the latest fads and Televised popular lines, are outcast from the society
because they don't CONFORM.
I focused on my grades for 11 years and it got me nowhere except alone in my room and miserable.
Let me give you some Reading material that will help you out:
The Red Queen, by Matt Ridley
The Evolution of Desire, by David M Buss
The Selfish Gene, by Richard Dawkins
That should get you started on human psychology, and group social interactions and their hierarchies.
Good Luck, young one.