Older and Seasoned Members among us, if you could go back to your 20's, what would you do different

Originally posted by CaDreamer
I would skip the first wife, get more college degrees and stay SINGLE until 35

Did that. It didn't help.

I would have bought stock in microsoft.

reply to post by sonofliberty1776



lol, i hear that!


i probably wouldn't change a thing, since my life's journey has brought me to know some very interesting and great people.


would i be rich and famous if chosen a different path? who knows.

would i have ended up dead at 28? i thought i would!

would i be happier? don't know.

i wouldn't have done half the stuff i've done if i made "better" choices
way back.

although it could be argued that i wouldn't have done any of the stuff, i would have done, if i did make "better"

choices.

basically, i would have been a better person to others if anything.

My son just graduated at 24 years old the first of December with a degree and my advice to him was , good bye . There is no work around here so be mobile and prepared to go where the work is if there is any , anywhere and i told him not to restrict his search exclusively in the area of his education . Probably 200 resumes out electronically with everyone backed up with a mailed hard copy . 3 interviews and 3 job offers in his field with starting salary quite a bit lower than he expected but he took one of the positions and he 1,500 miles away . I don't like that but he had to go where the work was as no working was coming to him and start $10K less than the industry norm , which is no longer the norm . Kinda screwed up his life in a way because he's been going with the same girl for 5 years and she's here , while he's there . One good thing is that even though he's salaried the company pays overtime and there is a lot of overtime so the money is turning out to be pretty good . He had to leave everyone , myself and my wife , his girlfriend and friends but it looks like he's going to move his girl friend there in the spring . The company does a pay review every 6 months so he's getting the exact experience he wanted and the money will be ok . He was willing to go to take just about any job but of course wanted one in his field and that part worked out even though we know he's pretty lonely . Actually quite a few jobs in his field but everyone asks for 5 years of experience so he was lucky to find a starter position and gain enough experience that if he wants to move on in the future he'll be able to . Don't know when my wife and myself will ever see him again and we don't like that but i had to go where the work was also before i retired . If he restricted himself to his field only and been unwilling to go where the work is he'd be a bum for life because there is nothing here . I'm very proud of him .

reply to post by MysticPearl

what would you do different

I would spend a lot more time getting drunk and making out with pretty girls. I'd take school and work less seriously, party more, and be the crazy awesome party guy that everyone's girlfriend has slept with, but everyone's ok with that and wants around because he's just so much fun.

I would be The Unfettered. I would be Fun Personified. And when death showed up I'd ask if she was all skeleton under that robe or if she had boobs I could play with. And if she was all skeleton I'd play with her ribcage anyway. Just on principal.

---

I'm not suggesting that anyone else live this way. It's not what I did, and most people I know who lived only for the day and partied regretted it later in life. But a lot of the people who spent their time "bettering themselves" regretted that later in life too.

a son or daughter in their twenties. What advice do you offer them?

I think the advice I would offer them would be:

Whatever you do, do it because you choose to. Know what you want and pursue it. Everyone in the world will have advice for you, ideas about what you're "supposed to" do. Feel free to tell them in no uncertain terms that they can take their opinions and shove it. And if society tells you that you're supposed to do something that you don't want, feel free to tell society to shove it too. If the world population is 6 billion and the other 5,999,999,999 all agree that you should do something...and you don't want to do it...don't.

Live your own life. Make your own rules. You have nobody to account to but yourself.

Originally posted by CaDreamer
I would skip the first wife, get more college degrees and stay SINGLE until 35

NEVER have ANY kids, stay in the Army, and retire overseas.

Originally posted by MysticPearl
So my question to those of you who have more life experience than my generation, in knowing what you know They only appear to be concerned with saving the money and investments which my generation doesn't have. Sounds greedy and selfish to say the least. And if older generations are having a tough time coping, and don' have a positive outlook, what does that say for the younger people here? Doom and gloom?

edit on 17-2-2011 by MysticPearl because: (no reason given)

See when I was young, I thought "Love and idealism and adventure will work everything out" but the cold hard reality of this survive-or-die world, is that, a -strong- support base -must- be established as a launching pad, from where one can go up into the fancy blue and have fun. The horrible reality is, only money can do that. But I am NOT speaking of greed and materialism. I'm talking about the foundations from which to achieve a "quality of life". I wish that having money did not only achieve that, but the cold hard reality is, money achieves that right now currently, EVEN those who say, "Oh no, I am building my place to live off the grid" B***s**t, they are spending a lot of their (most likely ample) money to do that. I want ----- to jump off a building and fly like a bird, but guess what instead?.......

If we are in a depression just like 1929, YEAH it's doom and gloom. SORRY. Thats just the cold hard reality of how it is.

i would have not gone to law school.

reply to post by MysticPearl


Oh sweet Mary... I was a git at 25... so asking what would I change now if I woke up and was 25 again? The answer may surprise you... I would not change a thing. I am in my mid 40's now and have, thus far, had an amazing ride. Have I hit bumps and major obsticles? You, boy howdy.. don't you know it. I have run head on at super sonic speed against the brick wall of harsh life realities like a crash test dummy. But without those experiences I would not be the me I am today...and in spite of my quirks and bad habits.. I'm pretty OK with the "me" I am now in comparison to the "me" I was then and if it all 'drops in the pot' tomorrow then I would have no regrets. I would not even change the times when my actions were regrettable because its usually during those times that I have learned the most about life, me, and the world around me.

Your concerns about the human conditions as you see them today are not soley your own. I don't think that you can put an age limit to them and your concerns are similar to my concerns which are in parallel to the generations ahead of me. But the wonderful thing about your genertion is that you get to learn from our mistakes, as my generation had the opportunity to learn from the mistakes of the generations before us.

Originally posted by OhZone

Absolutely skip having children.

I am almost afraid to ask.... but.. do you have children?

Well, I know a few mentioned not having kids - but if I had to do it over again, I would have had children in my twenties (maybe middle to late). I was from the generation that drilled into women to wait to have children to middle age and use your youth for employment.

For women, this doesn't make sense physically. Your chance of having a healthy baby is much better if you have the kid at a younger age. Caring for children is very draining physically - it's much easier to stay up at night walking a baby when you are younger. I don't think it makes sense emotionally or careerwise. People have to change careers now at least a few times. So even if you enter the workforce middle aged, you won't be the only one. It's a lot harder to restart your career, if you re-enter at 45 as opposed to 65! You also don't want to be caring for children and parents!

I would also appreciate my youth. I remember cringing when I went from 111 pounds to 116. I can't believe I felt fat at 116!

As for getting married - I never did and have no regrets.

Career advice would be very different now than when I was younger. If I was picking a career today, I would choose either service positions or perhaps move oversees. I wouldn't be too concerned with getting a degree now - I would wait until I knew I could obtain a job.

Stay on a similar (career & personal) path but with two key changes:
1) stay more focused on goals and not let others influence me
a) distractions
b) detours
2) defer gratification (often related to #1).

I would have graduated and accepted the scholarship I gave up. I would have enjoyed my teen years a bit more instead of working 2 jobs while attending school so I could leave home at 17. I would have recognized my parents rules weren't really Alcatraz that needed escaping. I would have pursued a career and chiseled the chip down on my shoulder a fraction or so.

Given all that, I am pleased with how my life has panned out so far. So I suppose things happen as they should. I got married right as I turned 20. Had a child the same year and getting ready to celebrate a 14 year anniversary next month.

OP, all will be fine. We humans have a great way of adjusting just how we need to. Nobody thought we would recover after the Great Depression... Yet here we are. Your concern is valid, just don't let it consume you.

Back to my twenties, what would I do?

Easy.

Kathy Scotese.

My twenties were a semi-drunken blur of partying, staying up all night, working hung over and half out of it, spending way too much time with women of questionable moral character, and often spending my entire paycheck on a Friday night and having to live in Ramen noodles for the next 6 days.

What would I change about that mess???

Not a damned thing!

~Heff

I would have put that $10,000 into the Microsoft IPO instead of the Barstow Biomass Project.
I would have gotten my pilots license before I was 24. And would have gone on to become a Commercial Pilot.
A degree wouldn't have helped me. I have a trade where I can get a job just about anywhere I want to live.
I found my love at 26.
I played the field with many one-night-stands, I could have done without most of the long term flings.
I should have kept my 64 1/2 Mustang convertible.
I shouldn't have bought my first 3 houses. I never lived in them long enough to make money on them.
I never should have trusted my ex-best friend to take care of my Opel GT when I worked overseas.
I never should have bought a non-mormon (me) business in a second highest population of Mormons town.
I've got a $Million in my 401(k). It would have been much more had I started investing at 20 instead of 40.
My retirement sucks because, until 17 years ago, I've never been with one company more than 4 years. No vesting under 5.

Good luck, hope you do better than me.

reply to post by simone50m


Bull****??

How? Yeah they're spending money to put together an off grid site; so that they can stop having to make money afterwards. Once that happens then their home, not their bank account, becomes their 'launch pad' - and all that's required afterwards is the capital for each particular endeavour (earned as needed).

I got married at 21, had my daughter at 22, had my son at 24, and have been happily married for 27 years. We own a home and own two nice cars. Not as much in the bank as we would like ( as in we wont be fleeing the country), but we're doing okay. Regrets - of course. But to change anything might mean I dont have my children or my husband. I live with my choices.

Just make good choices in your life. Dont listen to bitter old people!


I'm adding this edit - If there is one thing Ive learned - is dont listen to other people.You are intelligent enough to make correct decisions for yourself and what is right for you. You cannot compare against other people - they have their own story. Write YOUR story. The history of the world is filled with doom and gloom. So what? Life has still marched forward, and it always will. It aint over till its over.

Originally posted by MysticPearl
So my question to those of you who have more life experience than my generation, in knowing what you know now, what would you do differently if hypothetically, tomorrow you woke up and were 25 years old again?

...i would scream myself into the looney bin...

...just kidding (mostly)... if i had the chance to do it all over again, i wouldnt do anything different cuz that would screw up the time continuum and could break the sliver of a thread that holds us all to this reality (kidding again)... seriously, if i found myself in that situation, what i know now would have an impact of some kind on everything and theres no way to know if that would be a good thing or not...

Originally posted by MysticPearl
Maybe you have a son or daughter in their twenties.

...i have both... they're in their 30s...

Originally posted by MysticPearl
What advice do you offer them?

...i dont... if they ask me about something - i tell em what i think, make suggestions, give em food for thought, that kind of stuff...

Originally posted by MysticPearl
I just don't see much hope for the future of our generation, and one big problem is that my generation doesn't seem interested in politics, or current events. They're more interested in material items, which club to go to on the weekend, and in general seem to live in a bubble which they have zero interest in escaping from.

...maybe you're hanging around the wrong crowd...

Originally posted by MysticPearl
Yet, even the older generation who frequent this forum, who have a house and money saved in the bank, and more life experience, are talking about fleeing the country, or finding a way to live off the grid.

...yeah, well, you cant believe much of anything you read online...

Originally posted by MysticPearl
Corruption is out of control, our political system is broken,

...it was just as corrupt, out of control and broken 150 yrs ago... the usofa wasnt the bully of the planet yet (the uk still had that honor) but thats cuz our government (back then) was too busy committing genocide here... some things have improved dramatically (civil rights, medicine, child labor laws, modernization, race relations, etc)... some havent improved (the government)...

Originally posted by MysticPearl
and we rarely, if ever, hear politicians talk about improving the circumstances for our generation. They only appear to be concerned with saving the money and investments which my generation doesn't have. Sounds greedy and selfish to say the least.

...thats nothing new either... politicians pander to money, always have...

Originally posted by MysticPearl
And if older generations are having a tough time coping, and don' have a positive outlook, what does that say for the younger people here? Doom and gloom?

...its your call to make but i think its a waste of life to give so much credence to the negatives... of course, you dont wanna be polly anna sunshine either... somewhere in the middle is healthier and much more realistic but thats jmo...

Knowing what i know now. I wouldn't have wasted 13 years in the Navy.
I have never regretted my marriage or my kids.

The reason why kids have a though time to day. Is because when i was 20 some 20 years ago. The people who were 40 got greedy as hell. That is when the housing prices skyrocketed. You kids to day have to borrow twice what i had to 20 years ago.