Ask JaxonRoberts!

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posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 03:01 PM
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It occurred to me that ATS does not have an advice column, so here I am to fill that void. Feel free to ask about anything from relationships to what color to paint that spaceship you built in your garage! I will give it my best, using my many, many years of wisdom to give you the perfect answer to all your varied questions!

So fire away! The All Knowing, and All Wise JaxonRoberts awaits your deepest ponderances!




posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 03:07 PM
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reply to post by JaxonRoberts
 


Dear JaxonRoberts,

Assuming of course we're not dealing with five-dimensional objects in a basic Euclidean geometric universe and given the essential premise that all geo-mathematics is based on the hideously limiting notion that one plus one equals two, and not as Astemeyer correctly postulates that one and two are in fact the same thing observed from different precepts, the theoretical shape described by Siddus must therefore be a poly-dri-doc-deca-wee-hedron-a-hexa-sexa-hedro-adicon-a-di-bi- dolly-he-deca-dodron.

Everything else is popycock.

Isn't that so?



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 03:10 PM
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reply to post by JaxonRoberts
 


My zen master keeps pouring tea all over my hand and table, why can't I just get another cup to fill?

Peace,
spec



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 03:41 PM
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Dear JaxonRoberts,

If there's an exception to every rule, is there now an exception to that rule also? And then that rule, then that one and that one and that one and that one and that one and that one and tha....



Sincerely, RA
edit on 17-2-2011 by Rising Against because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 03:49 PM
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How do i tie my shoes? and should i just go back to velcrow?



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 04:00 PM
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Why is it called "tourist season" if we can't shoot at them?

And a follow-up (if I may)-

If I expect the unexpected, then what is up with that?



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 04:35 PM
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reply to post by JaxonRoberts
 


What came first, the chicken or the egg?


(lies back, sips coffee and eagerly awaits the answer to the ultimate question....
)



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 06:33 PM
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reply to post by LiveForever8
 


Dear LiveForever8,

Unfortunately, the shape that was described by Siddus is the following:



And yes, it IS scary!



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 06:35 PM
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reply to post by speculativeoptimist
 


Dear speculativeoptimist,

The problem can easily be solved by taking him to lenscrafters for their 2 for 1 sale...



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 06:37 PM
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reply to post by Rising Against
 


Dear Rising Against,

It's not really a rule, so there is no exception to it... I'd elaborate, but it's against the rules...



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 06:39 PM
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reply to post by zak89
 


Dear zak89,

Slip-ons would be an even better idea... and perhaps it's time for you to move on up to Pamper's Pull-ups as well... But you don't need to give up the binky just yet...



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 06:44 PM
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reply to post by yeahright
 


Dear yeahright,

Actually, you can if you have the right permit, but it's REALLY hard to get because you can only get it from the Permit Office in Area 51...

As to the follow-up, even if you expect the unexpected, you can never expect the unexpected unexpected, thus it is a vicious cycle of unexpected expectations...



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 06:45 PM
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reply to post by TortoiseKweek
 


Dear TortoiseKweek,

The Rooster... And if he had lips, he's be grinning from ear to ear...



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 08:50 PM
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Dear Jaxon,


I have a friend who really likes this person on ATS. They are a bit older than 'my friend', but seem really intelligent and like Bacon. How should he break the ice with them?

Thanks,

v1rtu0s0's friend



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 08:50 PM
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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 08:56 PM
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Dear Jax,

I was in a poke war this morning with two hot friends on Facebook.. then I started posting stuff about government corruption, surveillance on US Citizens, and Texas' broken public education system.. now noone pokes me anymore.

What went wrong? What should I do? What is the average airspeed of an unladen swallow?



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 09:02 PM
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reply to post by v1rtu0s0
 


Dear Studmuffin,

I really like Bacon Chocolates, and nobody buys that 'I have a friend' line... Grow a pair and just admit it... YOU WANT ME!



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 09:04 PM
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reply to post by Misoir
 


Dear Tonguetied,

Why would you care unless the Woodchuck in question is trying to chuck your wood? And if that's the case, call a paramedic immediately!



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 09:08 PM
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reply to post by rogerstigers
 


Dear Garden Gnome,

Chicks generally aren't turned on by conspiracies, thus they do not want to be poked by the losers who post about them... It's Faceborg, keep it light... Keep the paranoid stuff here where it belongs... Also the speed of the swallow is directly proportionate with the speed of the swallower...



posted on Feb, 17 2011 @ 09:10 PM
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why does it feel that civilization has reached a nadir of bleakness?
edit on 17-2-2011 by Lysergic because: (no reason given)





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