Expression towards other people

This is quite a strange thing to put into words that describe what I actually mean in a nutshell but I thought I would give it a bash in the hope that their are some other people who might have been through this already or are in the process of going through this and can add a thought or two. This is also something that is not easy to write about as a general topic but more from a personal viewpoint which I hope makes sense by the end of the opening post.

I have now been reading conspiracies, gathering knowledge as best as I can without limiting it to one concentrated area, applying things that I have learned through life lessons or reading about things to see what works and what does not. In essence all im trying to say is that I feel that I have a much better grasp of life now as I did when I was ten years younger back when I first got a hunch that life was not quite as clear cut as I was led to believe.

For a long time of my life I have spoken up when others will not be it in a workplace or in public and over the years I got better at it, quite often won over on them. Ive expressed my thoughts on what this worlds problems are and quite a lot of people have agreed with me, some of course do not but its not often a lot.
I have also helped people who were in need, financial hardship and needed advice in dire circumstances, raised funds for charity, raised awareness of issues that most do not hear about that effect them or will in the future.
I do not watch any television at all, I buy food from locally sourced farms, fisheries as I do not believe in supporting mutated crap that is sold in supermarkets etc.

Dont get me wrong though, ive made many mistakes and ive learned as much as I can from them to be as wise as I can in future.

Now that ive put the background part out the way to make what I am saying more sensible for what of a better way to put it.

Lately when it comes to speaking to people personally when asked about my views, what ive read about, my thoughts on what this is all about or various topics that are fairly deep at times I get what I can only describe as a feeling of complete calm but another in my chest that completely stops me from expressing my views whatsover.

To give an example of this, a good friend who has just started opening their eyes a little to the outside world in terms of what is going on and that there just might be more to life than worrying about a job and the news, recently asked me some questions on topics such as UFO's, the universe, what I believe this is all about and a few more things along those lines. Normally I would be pretty active in a conversation like this but I could not reply with anything I have read about this, learned personally or mutter anything but "What do you think" and listen whether I agreed or disgreed.

This is a very difficult thing to explain but it is almost as if something is not allowing me to express what I mean or want to say to someone and it is not in a way that is disturbing it is in a way that is actually quite warm and comforting. This is even happening as I write this opening post
I recently just find myself completely silent almost all the time and mostly only respond yes or no to most questions. Even on the ATS boards, I read and rarely post anything at all anymore even if it is a topic that I have read a lot about in the past etc.

I hope this makes at least a bit of sense to others as im keen to see some experienced thoughts from anyone that has gone or is going through something similar as im trying to understand more.

Really good post. I think we under estimate the power of just listening big time. I also think you may have reached a point when you can spot when someone may ask a question but really they want to answer it themselves. I would take it as a compliment that these people come to you, it shows trust and confidence in your views and beliefs.
Hope this helps.
Stay safe.
Helgas

reply to post by XXXN3O

I can only describe as a feeling of complete calm but another in my
chest that completely stops me from expressing my views whatsover.

My first impression is that you were horribly murdered in a previous life for speaking from your heart, and fear from that event may have carried over into this lifetime.

quite a lot of people have agreed with me, some of course do not but its not often a lot.

I am curious about this- pertaining to the few that did not agree with you, has there been some relationships, of any kind(family, sexual, a bond between close friends), that one of these disagreements has caused problems with? Maybe deep down, you are subconsciously protecting yourself from starting any more conflict between you and someone that you care about?
I really have no idea. Those were just the thoughts that came to me while reading your OP.

Even though one may have answers.. Its often better to let people learn on their own.. Give them a nudge in the right direction - but each must find the answers they seek on their own..

reply to post by XXXN3O


I, too, have voiced my opinions several times around ATS and have been called names, ridiculed, etc. It's tiring and demeaning. I think people actually get a kick out of it. I, take for instance, think that something might seem off about a topic. I post a thread and the thread goes the other way. Most of the replies I get are mostly negative. ONE time I actually got a 'this could be an interesting way to look at it'. The people who reply don't realize that "Hey, it's an opinion that may have weight and might not, but it's a good opinion".

In real life, we people come off totally different in the way we present things to others. I have lots of people I call friends, and few aquaintances. They all respect me and I respect them. They have unique outlooks on life as do I. At the end, we may either differ or agree with each other, but there is always respect and courtesy when we discuss or debate. There is a severe deficiency of respect here on ATS. A lot of people are so closed-minded, yet, they lurk on an open-minded website???

I love to learn about others and what makes them, them. I cannot say the same about anyone else.
Just my two cents.

Perhaps the OP learned to hold his tongue from realizing what he is saying may be perceived as ridiculous. Outspoken types I have met over the years have a common trait of quickly escalating from being a person with a unique perspective to 'raving loon'.

It takes time, thought and effort to peel back the layers of BS, deception and manipulation under which we live. As the OP has put forth time & effort to come to a better understanding of the world around him he knows first hand that the subject matter has to be digested in bite-size morsels, not in huge gulps.

Other posters in the thread have mentioned the importance of the listening side of conversation. Self-realization and affirmation by hearing one vocalize their thoughts and opinions does escalate the subject matter to another level of consciousness.

So it may well be that the OP has attained a level of maturity through understanding. There is a huge difference between leading a horse to drink and making him water.

Originally posted by TheAnuraOne
reply to post by XXXN3O

 

I, too, have voiced my opinions several times around ATS and have been called names, ridiculed, etc. It's tiring and demeaning. I think people actually get a kick out of it. I, take for instance, think that something might seem off about a topic. I post a thread and the thread goes the other way. Most of the replies I get are mostly negative. ONE time I actually got a 'this could be an interesting way to look at it'. The people who reply don't realize that "Hey, it's an opinion that may have weight and might not, but it's a good opinion".

In real life, we people come off totally different in the way we present things to others. I have lots of people I call friends, and few aquaintances. They all respect me and I respect them. They have unique outlooks on life as do I. At the end, we may either differ or agree with each other, but there is always respect and courtesy when we discuss or debate. There is a severe deficiency of respect here on ATS. A lot of people are so closed-minded, yet, they lurk on an open-minded website???

I love to learn about others and what makes them, them. I cannot say the same about anyone else.
Just my two cents.

Wow! You make some really valid points, especially about lack of respect and close-mindedness on a diversified site. I've seen it in myself in my short time here.

On the other hand: It is okay to know your own mind. An opposing opinion does not mean a closed mind. I feel a mature adult of years & experience should know what they like and don't like. Someone can share their excitement with me about an action flick they just saw, hey that's great. Then they'll insist I have to see it. I don't want to see it because Nicholas Cage is in the movie, and I have no respect for Cage as a person or a 'actor'. So am I closed-minded about N Cage? No. I don't eat foods I don't like, either. Nothing wrong with that.

I have no tolerance for the bulk of posts & subject matter here on ATS. But, like on so much of the Internet, there are some real diamonds floating amongst the costume jewelry, and its the diamonds we all seek, no?

I do have to agree with you: If one has no real thought or opinion to share, they should not post into the thread to begin with. Any arse can mutter and grumble like a chronic malcontent. But ATS Mods seem to do a fair job of minimizing undesirable contributions. Most other sites I visit have many more flamers, trolls and ITGs. It seems to be the pox of the 'net.

reply to post by XXXN3O


Its called the human condition. There is this strange kind of "guilt" or "fear" that people have, a certain direction of thought and emotion that they cannot feel comfortable with. I often find that, when most adults try to talk about such things, they have to use an intricate series of "codewords" and "subtext". When "war of the worlds" was aired on radio, people were literally so afraid that some people considered committing suicide. People in general are also VERY supersticious, and this comes from the old days of religious control, as well as the dark ages. Basically, the part of your mind that you have to open in order to comprehend the realm of the supernatural is the part that most of all westernised society is designed to suppress. You and I might feel at home in the more natural densities, but most people are kept at a plateau, and if they "fell" to our level, their subconsciousness would open up, and all their selfishness and negative acts that they have been trained to ignore will rise to the surface, and they will instantaneously experience what the average "schitzophrenic"/"introvert"/"empath" experiences on a day-to-day basis. Its hard to explain, there is this fear in many adults, this kind of "darkness" (themselves) that they are afraid to face. For example, when I use the word "alien" or "spirit" to my mother, I sense that her mind goes to a dark place, a place of fear, and she becomes angry when I try to elaborate. As I grew up, my mind was always on the dark side, voices in the mind, raw emotions and deep feelings. There was a stage where I started to lose sensitity, however, I resisted and my mind is in a state of calm, a beautiful cavernous emptiness. However, if the average person were to step into my being, they would become fearful and confused, as they have been trained to ignore/suppress their dark sides. I.e. I talk to some people that seem calm, and feel calm, but I know that in their soul they are seething with frustration, however the technology/suppressants prevent them from perceiving it. Eventually we will have to face ourselves, and I feel that the "powers that be" are engineering some kind of "fall" - basically, mass fear and hallucination. I might not even realise the degree to which people are controlled and trapped in the system. I don't think any of us really do. They tend to believe that the system will protect them, and I am under the impression that it is out to deceive them, or rather, lack of its protection will cause them to face the truth.

Self-censorship is one thing that is conscious and directed, but your "symptoms" denote something extra or different. Understanding is probably the most apt description - the feeling is common among those confident and comfortable with their knowledge, yet "wary" of the casual inquirer. Sometimes it's best to let the inquirer ask and answer their own questions. Your contribution to that could hinder their progress so at some level your "system" lets you know that silence is the wisest option. The phrase "listening to your inner self" applies completely to your situation as the inner self rarely communicates via mental dialog - it's more visceral, "just a feeling" or sometimes an irrational (fight or flight) response. Go with the feeling and try to engage your mind about the feeling itself rather than the subject matter at hand: try to "watch" your thinking - it could turn out that you need to endure 20 minutes of conversation to put forth 3 or 4 words that turn the awarness switch on for folks. Put a bit more crudely: first you give 'em enough rope to hang themselves and then you watch how it actually plays out.

ganjoa

Thanks for the replies guys.

I would normally have more to add than that but all of them are interesting reads.

Just acknowledging.

reply to post by XXXN3O


I think I know what you mean. It's good to get to the point where you feel like you have nothing to prove and can be comfortable with your own beliefs instead of trying to push them on other people. I'm not saying this is what you were doing, but speaking from experience, I know how it is when a topic pops up that you know a lot about and feel like you absolutely HAVE to throw in your 2 cents and convince people to think like you do. I used to be the same way myself. If I knew about something, I had to make it KNOWN that I knew a lot about it, lol. I think it's good to reach the point of humbleness.

reply to post by XXXN3O


As the old saying goes ‘The more you find out the less you know’.
Perhaps you realize that you don’t really know anything about anything.
I used to know so much about stuff…then I realized I didn’t know anything.
Although I do sometimes fall asleep and start to think I know things again.