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The Politically Correct Version of The Three Little Pigs.

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posted on Feb, 16 2011 @ 09:52 AM
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I thought id share this with all of you, As it certainly made my day


So without further Adue The Politically correct version of the three little pigs:


Once there were 3 little pigs who lived together in mutual respect and in harmony with their environment. Using materials that were indigenous to the area they each built a beautiful house. One pig built a house of straw, one a house of sticks, and one a house of dung, clay and creeper vines shaped into bricks and baked in a small kiln. When they were finished, the pigs were satisfied with their work and settled back to live in peace and self-determination.

But their idyll was soon shattered. One day, along came a big, bad wolf with expansionist ideas. He saw the pigs and grew very hungry in both a physical and ideological sense.

When the pigs saw the wolf, they ran into the house of straw. The wolf ran up to the house and banged on the door, shouting, "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"

The pigs shouted back, "Your gunboat tactics hold no fear for pigs defending their homes and culture."

But the wolf wasn't to be denied what he thought was his manifest destiny. So he huffed and puffed and blew down the house of straw. The frightened pigs ran to the house of sticks, with the wolf in hot pursuit. Where the house had stood, other wolves bought up the land and started a banana plantation.

At the house of sticks, the wolf again banged on the door and shouted, "Little, pigs, little pigs, let me in!"

The pigs shouted back, "Go to hell, you carnivorous, imperialistic oppressor!"

At this the wolf huffed and puffed and blew down the house of sticks. The pigs ran to the house of bricks, with the wolf close at their heels. Where the house of sticks had stood, other wolves built a time-share condo resort complex for vacationing wolves, with each unit a fibreglass reconstruction of the house of sticks, as well as native curio shops, snorkelling and dolphin shows.

At the house of bricks, the wolf again banged on the door and shouted, "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"

This time in response, the pigs sang songs of solidarity and wrote letters of protest to the United Nations.

By now the wolf was getting angry at the pigs' refusal to see the situation from the carnivore's point of view. So he huffed and puffed, and huffed and puffed, then grabbed his chest and fell over dead from a massive heart attack brought on from eating too many fatty foods.

The three little pigs rejoiced that justice had triumphed and did a little dance around the corpse of the wolf. Their next step was to liberate their homeland. They gathered together a band of other pigs who had been forced off their lands. This new brigade of porcinistas attacked the resort complex with machine-guns and rocket launchers and slaughtered the cruel wolf oppressors, sending a clear signal to the rest of the hemisphere not to meddle in their internal affairs. Then the pigs set up a model socialist democracy with free education, universal health care and affordable housing for everyone. [My note: well it is a fairy tale after all.]

Please note: The wolf in this story was a metaphorical construct. No actual wolves were harmed in the writing of the story.


Thanks to a paticular website that i cant name because of the T&C violating name

edit on 16/2/11 by TedHodgson because: edit title




posted on Feb, 16 2011 @ 09:55 AM
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This is classic..!



posted on Feb, 16 2011 @ 09:56 AM
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reply to post by TechVampyre
 


I thought you might like it


It seems to be On Par with The serious sense of humour people share on ATS.



posted on Feb, 16 2011 @ 09:59 AM
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lol...

apparently 'they' changed bah bah black sheep to be more politically correct aswell. I have no idea what a rainbow coloured sheep is supposed to represent other than stupidity and cowardice though.



posted on Feb, 16 2011 @ 10:05 AM
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reply to post by madscientistintraining
 


I actually have a Book somewhere where all the Original Nursery rymes are changed to Their Politically correct versions, however i cannot seem to find it in my parents extensive library of Non-usefull literacy


I think its something like "Bah bah Sheep of No-Paticular Ethnic Minority or class...." Or something like that



posted on Feb, 16 2011 @ 10:05 AM
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reply to post by TedHodgson
 

Too funny. S & F for you.



posted on Feb, 16 2011 @ 10:13 AM
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Thanks for starting off my day with a good yuk.S&F for you.I hope the wolf carcass was disposed of in an environmentally friendly fashion.



posted on Feb, 16 2011 @ 10:23 AM
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Never read this before....great laugh to start off the day...

Being political correct is very entertaining... thanks.



posted on Feb, 16 2011 @ 10:45 AM
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reply to post by TedHodgson
 


too funny. But you forgot to mention what happens to the Socialist Democracy down the road. The three little pigs lost everything they had because the other little pigs thought they had too much wealth. All their hard earned houses were confiscated and given to the southern javelinas cause they didn't have as much wealth. In the end the 3 little pigs quit being productive members of society because they knew any wealth they created for themselves would just be took away and through "spread the wealth" distributed to those who hadn't worked for it.



posted on Feb, 16 2011 @ 10:46 AM
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reply to post by ohioriver
 


Aha but thats a story for the future....




posted on Feb, 16 2011 @ 06:24 PM
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reply to post by Holly N.R.A.
 


If you like this you should Buy the The book, i have no idea what its called but its got all the great Pollically correct nursery rales in it



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