Never Even Knew [WRAP]

This is touching, but I’m not blushing. Look real close, now you’re the one hushing. And stop the stupid talk I’m not thrilled by your walk and you no longer are a shock to my system. If you’re looking for Mr. nice guy well girl you just missed him. Don’t you remember all the good times you dissed him? Do you wish him to care again? No I’m not taking that dare again. I’ll blare my music again, don’t worry, no excuses again. And don’t dare intrude my friend, although I’ve shown you under the floor. Damn I’ve given you my core and what did you leave in store? A heart broke disorderly on the shore of your ocean and I was there for your roller coaster emotions.

Why? Because you disorient me when I gave you my secrets.
You run around like an open pipe and out you leaks them.
You secrete them and treat them, me still wanting the sweet then.
When you heal me, knew the real me, and deal with me cause of that word. A noun? A verb? Who really knows the terminology? Is it pathology or is it psychology?

My hemorrhage did much damage,
More than I could’ve imagined.
Now explosions of hidden passions erupt my life, and this disrupts my life.
Told you things that should stay behind the eye.
Always know and always saw, you just stopped covering with the lie.
I hurt you more than I’ll ever know, you think so?
How’s my life for a show?
Bad news, depressed blues, crying over the likes of you.
But at least I got a taste of it, even often touched the face of it.
Still wanting to be in the space of this, of your next wish.
I want to be that. I am nothing; you’re everything I lack.
You’re the only light in my world all black, but I burnt you out all because I slack.
Everything I did was way after the fact and way after the opportunity.
But really I can’t figure out who did grant the immunity.
I stepped away, got used to a new community.
One where I wished things to be like they were back then.
Now I live openly and am one with sin.
Only time I’m good is when you’re under my skin, so is it actually quite often?
And I’m just trying to soften the bed in my coffin, the broken support of my loft, and the self abuse that I’m getting used to, but all because I’m no good at having to lose you.

This should’ve been written years ago, but it doesn’t stop the tears that flow, and too late now, but the fear I show.
Fore you are but a disappearing glow.
I stand still; you’re reengineering go and leaving me at the faded stop sign.
And my mouth, I must’ve misplaced mine.
As I watched you walk away, after you I should just book.
Now I only see nowhere everywhere I look, but behind me, the best years with you, and I’ll never get back what you took.

reply to post by schitzoandro


Feeling Empty, useless , left out and forgotten.
mind races wild, defiled, but intensions not rotten.

I just need a place, to call my home.
Wish Uncle Sam, would throw me a bone.

You see, inside my beating chest, lays my Best friend
my kind heart.
Hoping it will see me through, not to the end, but to
my next start.

Do you know me? I ask. Without my "express card"?
Do I know myself? I task, to look inside my soul hard.

Hoping to find inside, my lifes goal.. but fearing
to find my hyde, has a neverending hole..

DRS