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Let me introduce you to my Hell

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posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 11:37 AM
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Hey everyone. For the past 3 years I have been suffering EXTREME obsessive thoughts, and everything that comes with them (anxiety, depression, etc.). Every day when I wake up, there are a few thoughts on my mind, and throughout the day, they are with me probably 75% of the time.

I cannot stop thinking about blinking, breathing and swallowing. I do not have OCD where I must control, or count these processes, it is more or less that I am simply aware of them. And I can't seem to shake them off. For example, once I start to think about blinking, I can't stop thinking about it. Because before my mind can forget about the thought, I have to blink, and that restarts the viscous cycle.

I have seen many health professionals and psychologists, psychiatrists about this, went through different therapies, and nothing really calmed me down.

Where did this come from? My parents believed I needed help when I was little. I would avoid school, have a bit of social anxiety. I was put on antidepressants in high school, and to be honest I don't even remember what the reason was but I took them anyway. When I was coming off of the antidepressants (Effexor) I had a HUGE breakdown. I got so pissed off one day, I went outside and started beating the hell out of my car in a rage. This is very unusual because I am a motor head and love cars, especially mine, and because I simply never felt that angry in my life, I felt like I could have killed somebody. But shortly after coming off of the Effexor, I started to have my obsessive thoughts. I always have thought that maybe my brain became addicted to them and they need them to work properly now, and hence my brain making these obsessive thoughts, but every doctor I've seen has denied this. I have been to some prestigious doctors, and doctors I totally trust who don't support pushing medicine down people's throats unless it's absolutely needed, and they agree its not the cause. so...?

So what am I going to do about it? I don't know. I really want to be on medicine. Something to control these obsessive thoughts. I am trying to complete grad school and as you can imagine, concentration for me just doesn't exist anymore. To be honest, I think if this lasts 2 more years, I will end up killing myself. I have no peace. My mind is always racing. I wish I could have one day where I could just sit down and read a book or just even chill out without feeling uncomfortable from my thoughts.

I would love to hear what any of yous have to say. I'd appreciate it.




posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 11:41 AM
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Drop it.

Plain and simple.

Let gravity take hold and the Earth will transmute that stressful energy.

There's a book called 'The Ultimate Power' by Jack something online you can download.

He has a powerful technique for clearing the energetic field and keeping it that way.



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 11:44 AM
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Bro, stop taking pills. My ADD medicine while in high-school made me anti-social and once I stopped taking it, I was able to be social again and STILL get my work done. Now I'm in college and still not taking Meds. Don't say you'll kill yourself, please. You have way much more to experience in your life, you're not ready to die.



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 11:44 AM
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try homeopathy

i'm sure there is a natural remedy that could help, and be inexpensive, with no side effects



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 11:45 AM
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Discuss it with some mental healthcare professionals. Don't rake advices about medication from members on a forum, for your own sake! Find the right therapy/medication. Above all: don't drop it all because a member said so


 
Posted Via ATS Mobile: m.abovetopsecret.com
 



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 11:47 AM
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reply to post by RustyShakleford92
 


Actually what you are describing is OCD. Obsessive compulsive disorder is obsessing over anything. I too suffer from OCD. Your perfectly normally abnormal. Try seeing a psychologist who specializes in OCD and behavioral psychology.

I have an obsession with people eating, I cant be around anyone who eats loudly or else I begin to self harm. I also cannot stand any physical contact. Trust me I feel your pain, its just different. I've also been on medication treating it.



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 11:48 AM
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reply to post by RustyShakleford92
 


Well this sounds like a horrible perdicament for you. I am no doctor or anything of the sorts. I will tell you what popped into my mind after reading your post as a solution to your problem. I am posting it because I have a feeling that i should...so here goes.

Instead of focusing on the fact that it is a problem that you focus on these actions just focus on the action itself. Accept that you do these things and the fact that you are thinking about the act of doing them. Continue this until you feel the panic ease and then think of it some more.

Will yourself to focus on it. When you have a clear spell, make yourself focus on those actions. Hopefully that will change it from being reactive and uncontrollable to controllable.

I wish you the best of luck!



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 11:49 AM
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reply to post by RustyShakleford92
 


Explanation: S&F! [and thanks for speaking up ok
]

Personal Disclosure: OL read an ATS members signature that said if you want to change your mood [focus?] then change your music ok! I hope to come up with even more solutions but please try that and post a reply and let us all know if that simple thing works for you ok! Best of luck!



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 12:02 PM
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Your body is toxic, a pharmacy dumping ground. It needs to be flushed and cleaned. Just normal foods fresh fram produce and with good strong work. No junk foods!!! simple living and you will feel refreshed.



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 12:05 PM
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Originally posted by ATC_GOD
reply to post by RustyShakleford92
 


Well this sounds like a horrible perdicament for you. I am no doctor or anything of the sorts. I will tell you what popped into my mind after reading your post as a solution to your problem. I am posting it because I have a feeling that i should...so here goes.

Instead of focusing on the fact that it is a problem that you focus on these actions just focus on the action itself. Accept that you do these things and the fact that you are thinking about the act of doing them. Continue this until you feel the panic ease and then think of it some more.

Will yourself to focus on it. When you have a clear spell, make yourself focus on those actions. Hopefully that will change it from being reactive and uncontrollable to controllable.

I wish you the best of luck!



Hi all


The same thing poped in to my head while reading the OP


BE IN the whole prosess, that way YOU will start to controll the mind instead of the mind controlling you


The same advice i have for you who have problem with physical contact and people eating.....

Love and light
Sat Nam



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 12:10 PM
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Sounds like you are having some sympstoms of Derealization,or Depersonalization ..



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 12:21 PM
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It sounds like your brain is getting caught in a loop and with neurons, the more a pathway is used, the more it gets reinforced. You need to find some way to distract your brain when it is caught in the patterns and force your attention onto something else. Maybe try doing push ups and overcome any discomfort the natural tendencies will want to try and take. Another approach is to try and disrupt the repetitions, alter the frequency that they happen, associate different random name, colours, smells or sounds to each event. Try and visualise yourself being healed as well, it may feel a little fake at first but keep it up and the brain gets use to the idea. It sound a bit like when you get the hiccups. I know how much they suck. If you can feel a wave coming on try and predict just before it happens so you can time some disruption for best effect. Also try and mentally trace the part of the brain where these signals are originating from so it gives you a point to focus and help shut them down.



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 12:24 PM
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Originally posted by CIGGSofWAR
Your body is toxic, a pharmacy dumping ground. It needs to be flushed and cleaned. Just normal foods fresh fram produce and with good strong work. No junk foods!!! simple living and you will feel refreshed.


I would also recommend doing a whole body audit. In the simplest terms possible, what goes in must come out. So, scrub your diet, your soaps, etc. I would increase your physical activity each day as well. Also, take a look at what you are putting into your mind, with respect to quality, be it music, imagery, tv shows, et al. Also, stay away from doom scenarios or anything else you have no control over. Last, even though it is very hard, try meditating at least once a day. It's a hard practice to implement and our natural tendency to be restless about it, however, that just shows you that you need it.

One last final thought is that your condition could be representative of a contradictory path you are following. For example, after seven years, I had worked my way up in this company to the point of Sales Manager. I had been working crazy hours and making a lot of money, however, as a result of the stress, I was on medication, drinking too much booze, smoking cigarettes, not exercising ... my mind was shot. Deep down, I could care less about money, the title, etc., however, I like to think that my spirit was telling me, "Look bro, this ain't your show." Wouldn't you know it, but the company shut down in 2008, I lost my job and I couldn't have been more happy. It took me about 1 year to decompress. Now, I work a few odd jobs in areas that I like, have no stress. Exercise, don't smoke, eat clean food and pursue things that actually have meaning for me.

So, take it for what it is worth. I am glad to see everybody here at ATS replying to your post and trying to help you out. Says something about the crew. Stay centered - you will be alright.
edit on 13-2-2011 by alyoshablue because: typos



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 12:35 PM
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See someone. Do not be automatically pro or anti medication or therapy. Be pro you and use/do what helps you live a happier life.

You don't have to count to be OCD.. My husband was recently.diagnosed though he has been suffering for years. He has lists, redundant lists thar go through his head thousands of times a day. He has "routines" he has to de everyday. I asked him for years to seek help. HE had to be ready. Now he says he can breath. He still does these things, but not as often and his mind is more peaceful. It made him miserable. Just as you are.

Seek out a therapist/doctor who is not straightline just meds or just therapy. That way they have an open mind in helping you.

I hope you find some inner peace soon. I have seen what this does, and I will keep you in my thoughts.
edit on 2/13/2011 by Kangaruex4Ewe because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 12:36 PM
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reply to post by RustyShakleford92
 


You know what stud. I actually feel pretty bad for you. I have no idea about anything you've ddiscribed here.
How about you quit taking those pills and go straight to medicinal marijuana. I bet you would feel a change in your head. Marajuana is good for distracting your mind for awhile. How old are you?



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 12:39 PM
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Hi hon....sorry to hear you are having these problems...I agree that you should see another doctor, and do not start or stop medications unless a PYSICIAN tells you to. Every person is different, so you can't generalize it. It could be your meds need to be tweaked....along with some counseling. But here is a site which could give you some info in the meantime. Best of luck to you and let us know how it goes ok?
www.nomorepanic.co.uk...



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 12:52 PM
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Look into Christian healing AND see a doctor that specializes in OCD.

I am sorry that you have to deal with this. Imagine how strong and wise you will be when you learn how to deal with it! God bless you and take it away!



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 01:24 PM
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Originally posted by randyvs
reply to post by RustyShakleford92
 


You know what stud. I actually feel pretty bad for you. I have no idea about anything you've ddiscribed here.
How about you quit taking those pills and go straight to medicinal marijuana. I bet you would feel a change in your head. Marajuana is good for distracting your mind for awhile. How old are you?


Can't argue with that fact!



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 01:44 PM
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OP, first of all doctors are clueless about most things like this and practically only experiment with such patients feeding them several types of anti-depressants that may or may not work. In some cases, improvement may be realized in the beginning, but over a short time, MANY patients have a conversion process to which they transform into totally different people with ALARMING changes in their personalities and behavior including in many cases showing harmful and dangerous characteristics...

Do yourself a favor and get a hair sample analysis ASAP to check your brain for heavy metal toxin accumulation. DO this ASAP. Once you discover which types of heavy metals you have accumulated, research the natural means of chelating it via herbal products, vitamins, and mineral supplements.

Keep in mind that traditional medicine only puts a BAND-AID on a patient's problems. The only real benefiter from traditional medicine is their big Pharmaceutical buddies who get wealthier, who in turn give kickbacks to their legal drug dealers the doctors. The patients rarely if ever win in traditional medicine, therefore the HUGE increase in recent times of folks turning to alternative medicine. This turn occurred for no reason other than patients getting frustrated from NOT GETTING ANYWHERES with traditional medicine!!

SO please do yourself a favor and SKIP the BS and get a hair sample analysis IMMEDIATELY and go from there with chelating next.



posted on Feb, 13 2011 @ 02:03 PM
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I had a friend with exactly the same issue....

Here's how I got him out of it.....

You observe a chair or table in your room ....(that object is other than the observer)
You then observe the clothes on your body ....(the clothes on your body are being observed by the observer)
You then observe your body .....(the body being observed is not the observer)
You then observe the eyes seeing, sight, or dark with eyes closed ...(the eyes seeing are not the observer)
You then observe thoughts coming and going, or staying for a while ....(thoughts are being observed, but are not the observer....

So now take that observer and observe that observer....... stay with that and it will put thoughts in check.....Obsess over observing this observer.....

Anytime a thought pops up, it is observed by the observer.....so ignore thought, the body, hearing, seeing, etc ...and just observe the observer ......then you will be free



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