The real terrorist was me - A US Soldier

Originally posted by MarineSniper12Kills
reply to post by the_0bserver85

 

No it doesn't take awhile. Two months ago I had my 40 caliber pistol to my head. I was drinking 750 ml of vodka and crown a night. My wife was so scared of me and what I had become, that she would either stayat my sisters, or sleep in the closet. Some big man I was. 2 months later I have been completely sober, on anti depressants, talk to a psychiatrist multiple times a week, spend every second I can holding my wife, and will never pick up my service weapon for this country for a long time. All of this because one lady on here cared enough to spend so much of her time encouraging me and seeing me for who I really am. Her name on here is lostviking, what a blessing she's been. It doesn't take a long time, it takes a couple of people who really care. If you don't believe me read my thread about my disease which I wrote while I was in a slum. OP im so glad you made this post. Not trying to derail this thread but people need to know, we can't do this by ourselves.

I read your earlier thread, Marine. I'm so glad you found some people here that helped you. I hope you continue to heal. One of my dearest closest friends, who was like a little brother to me, never recovered from Iraq. He was 101st Airborne Division, Iron Rakkasans. He was both proud and horrified about having fought over there. He came home with 3 Purple Hearts. The medical and mental health care he received from the Army after he got back here was negligent at best, and he ended up an alcoholic and addicted to pain meds. He died of a massive stroke at 38 years old the day after Christmas two years ago. He left his wife, also a dear friend of mine, of just 3 years and their 2 year old son when he left this world. I miss him so badly. I remember so well the day back when we were kids when his family moved into our neighborhood. He was an awesome guy. I wish I had called him more often and tried to be there for him more than I was. Wish I hadn't moved so far away from the East Coast where they lived.

I know others have offered to be there for you if you need someone to talk to, and you can add me to that list. It sounds like you are starting to move on the path to recovery, and that makes me so happy for you!! Stay on that road! Your family is worth it! If I can be of any help to you and anyone else who needs someone to listen, maybe I can make up a little bit for not having been there enough for my "little brother."

reply to post by devildogUSMC


I really appreciate it man. I know exactly what you mean, celer silens mortalis. After losing men who were your family, the last thing you expect is to pull an american service weapon off of an insurgent. Multiple times. Im still fresh so I have a ways to go. I have stayed sober for a good while now though, so just tryin to think straight. Will def U2U you.

reply to post by dalloway


Im so sorry for the loss of your friend. We worked VERY close with the airborne. I know exactly what he was going through. It is not your fault what happened though. It was our choice to go over seas, unfortunatly we now have to live with what we are when we get back. Yes the military doesn't give two sh..s about your health. Just know now, he's a soldier in gods army. I really appreciate the support, you don't understand how much of a motivation that is.

Being a Marine Corps combat vet isn't at all what it is cracked up to be and dealing with the VA because you acquired too many service connected disabilities that are recognized as preexisting conditions is the ultimate kick in the head....I was fortunate that I spent my time in hell that for the most part was devoid of civilian population along the Laotian border and the DMZ in Quang Tri and Thua Thien provinces..... I've been a disabled veteran since I got out 42 years ago when I was 19....,. I had no idea what the hell was wrong with me. Myself and others like me were so intent in putting that part of our lives behind us that many of us just stayed loaded and lived in a world of sh!t until we had to question our lifestyles and why other vets were as messed up as we were.... If Jimmy Carter hadn't stated the Vietnam Vet Center Program there is no telling how many of what few of us that are still alive would be..

reply to post by hypervigilant


So true. Their is no glory in coming home an alcoholic, coming home with different mental illnesses. Seeing everyones face in your mind 24 7. That's not glory.

reply to post by MarineSniper12Kills


Thanks for your heartfelt reply, so helpful, and actually very comforting, especially knowing that you worked with his division. And here I was hoping I could help you!

reply to post by Ghandi

If you feel the war is right and you're over there, you're a hero in my eyes.

If you feel the war is wrong, get out of it, you don't belong over there. It's heroic to protest.

Bottom line, BE YOURSELF. Don't be a coward. It's ok to sometimes be indecisive.

If you support this war because of fear and confusion, I feel so sad for you. Wake up.

That's how I feel.

As for the OP. I don't know what to tell you to make you feel better about things. I just know that people feel differently about whether the war is right or wrong and this is based on their own life and experiences. I don't blame anybody exclusively. People have opinions. But I think it's cowardly to not be yourself or to be driven by fear or desperation. We have to control ourselves and act responsibly.

reply to post by jonnywhite


I don't think being a coward has anything to do with it. People can change their mind once they experience things first hand and see behind the curtain. Perfect example, my group got briefed on a mission because we had orders to go into a different country. It ended up not going through, but things like that can change your mind greatly.

Originally posted by MarineSniper12Kills
reply to post by the_0bserver85

 

No it doesn't take awhile. Two months ago I had my 40 caliber pistol to my head. I was drinking 750 ml of vodka and crown a night. My wife was so scared of me and what I had become, that she would either stayat my sisters, or sleep in the closet. Some big man I was. 2 months later I have been completely sober, on anti depressants, talk to a psychiatrist multiple times a week, spend every second I can holding my wife, and will never pick up my service weapon for this country for a long time. All of this because one lady on here cared enough to spend so much of her time encouraging me and seeing me for who I really am. Her name on here is lostviking, what a blessing she's been. It doesn't take a long time, it takes a couple of people who really care. If you don't believe me read my thread about my disease which I wrote while I was in a slum. OP im so glad you made this post. Not trying to derail this thread but people need to know, we can't do this by ourselves.

You and others who feel as you do, truly have my sympathy... It must be completely awful!
Vicky

No one who allows themselves to be USED by the elite in their war against humanity will escape with their Soul intact.

Mothers , Fathers we must teach our children what the true cost of war is and not to become the instrument of our own destruction.

The 1965 Donovan song Universal Solider is still relevant today.

www.youtube.com...

Such great words I have not heard in a long time. Thank you for this post, and for putting me in touch with this video. Lets hope that these brave veterans who oppose the war can have anough impact on popular opinion to force political change.

I am dead against the war, but support anyone who bravely fights as instructed by their country. I don't blame the soldier who pulls the trigger, I blame the polatitians who order them to do so.

Send all the soldiers home, end the ocupation.

reply to post by MarineSniper12Kills


Hang in there young man. Maybe change your ATS name. You are not "MarineSniper12Kills." That is what you were trained to be. You are what you choose to be now and start by changing your online name. You are a human being, a husband, someone's son.

There but for fate go I, since I am a veteran, but one fortunate enough to not have had to kill "for my country." I cannot imagine your pain, but the guilt is not yours, it is ours, all of us, who collectively allow our own manipulation of our misplaced patriotism.

reply to post by MarineSniper12Kills


I get that you have remorse at having killed other human being in the course of your work, and perhaps that you question the overall right and wrong of the Government's involvement in the conflict.

But, in terms of the shots that you fired...that resulted in the death or injury of your targets...was there something inherently wrong with these missions...within the context of a combat mission?

I am in the Army and have served 2 tours in Iraq. That is all I will say about who I am because I am still in. Do I agree with the wars? NO! Do I believe we need to have our men and women there right now? NO! That said we (all service members) raised our right hands and volunteered to serve. We were aware of what we might be called on to do regardless of if we agreed with the politics of it all.
It is unnatural to take a human life that is why from basic training and throughout our careers we are trained with "reflexive" fire. Absolutely after we take a life many of us have a hard time coming to terms with it. I have been there just like you. I had problems just like you. This is what pulled me through it. I was not pulling the trigger for The Poewrs That Be, or the NWO, or for the US military. Neither were you. You were sighting in on and dropping those who would have killed you and your brothers and sisters in arms. You were keeping me safe in the combat zone. You were protecting your fellow Marines as they manuvered and continued the mission.
I have issues with the wars. I am done with the military. After this contract is finished so am I. I will put it all behind me and know I served honorably helping to bring home others who served by my side. God bless you all my brothers and sisters in arms. Do not let the right or wrong s of our government tarnish the honor we have earned with each other.

Originally posted by LastStand
I am in the Army and have served 2 tours in Iraq. That is all I will say about who I am because I am still in. Do I agree with the wars? NO! Do I believe we need to have our men and women there right now? NO! That said we (all service members) raised our right hands and volunteered to serve. We were aware of what we might be called on to do regardless of if we agreed with the politics of it all.
It is unnatural to take a human life that is why from basic training and throughout our careers we are trained with "reflexive" fire. Absolutely after we take a life many of us have a hard time coming to terms with it. I have been there just like you. I had problems just like you. This is what pulled me through it. I was not pulling the trigger for The Poewrs That Be, or the NWO, or for the US military. Neither were you. You were sighting in on and dropping those who would have killed you and your brothers and sisters in arms. You were keeping me safe in the combat zone. You were protecting your fellow Marines as they manuvered and continued the mission.
I have issues with the wars. I am done with the military. After this contract is finished so am I. I will put it all behind me and know I served honorably helping to bring home others who served by my side. God bless you all my brothers and sisters in arms. Do not let the right or wrong s of our government tarnish the honor we have earned with each other.

edit on 2/11/2011 by LastStand because: spelling

Well said.

Well done.

reply to post by hypervigilant


My dad is going through the same type of thing. After coming back from the Gulf war he has alot of problems now and so does the people he served with and no one can tell them what is wrong with them. I honestly don't know how much longer my dad will live and he is only 48.He is also fighting the VA and getting nowhere because there are no official records because they were pretty much on there own out there. He even said that he and some other guys had to steal food from the trucks they were driving just to eat on occassions.

Originally posted by America?
reply to post by hypervigilant

 

My dad is going through the same type of thing. After coming back from the Gulf war he has alot of problems now and so does the people he served with and no one can tell them what is wrong with them. I honestly don't know how much longer my dad will live and he is only 48.He is also fighting the VA and getting nowhere because there are no official records because they were pretty much on there own out there. He even said that he and some other guys had to steal food from the trucks they were driving just to eat on occassions.

Look...I completely understand that many people have trouble adjusting to regular life after their combat experiences.

Combat is nuts. It is traumatic. It is life and death. It is intense...beyond anything that people who have not experienced it can probably imagine (unless you are a cop or a fireman maybe).

But...um...do you expect people to actually believe that US troops have to "steal food from trucks" to eat?

war is killing the best most honorable of us. our government is intent on destroying what little dignity our soldiers have left. my son is a Marine thankfully in a noncombat MOS. this post brought tears to my eyes our soldiers are a great gift to this country, willing to give their lives for us their sanity... when are we going to as a country give them the support they need to get through the sh|t we put them through.

I love my country, i hate my government. be well and i sympathize with the soldiers that come back broken. mental illness isn't something you just "suck it up" and move on with. the poster that put that up is sooo clueless.

to all the soldiers here thank you, you are our Heroes.

Thankyou op for this video , This guy is saying what we all need to hear ,
Im going to link this thread around ats .
Every person who still believes this war not just to make the rich richer needs to see it .
Our lives are precious let the elite fight these sick wars theyre are the ones who have no thought for innocent peoples lives NOT us .

s and f

reply to post by Ghandi


Awesome yet very disturbing video, S&F. Every american should watch this video and maybe they would think twice before supporting unjust wars around the world. Just think of the problems that we could fix if the people of the world refuse to fight, the list is endless.