Originally posted by LoverBoy
reply to post by nenothtu
Its sad bro, how quick people are to judge you, to tell you how you feel and what you are. Some people on this site amazes me. People can sit here and
tell me what I am because of a name I used on here...I made MarineSniper12kills because that's who I was, that's what I did. I was proud of what I
I've come to a place where I realize that folks who want to judge me like that are working on insufficient data. If they don't know what I know,
their assessment of us may be less than optimal, and I take that into account. It still irritates me sometimes, but not like it used to. It used to
bother me, a lot, make me think I was something less than human, and force a negative reaction. Nowadays, it just irritates me sometimes, and if I
have a negative reaction, it's because I want to. I control that now, rather than letting randomness control it. Sometimes, I just rake 'em over the
coals for the fun of it, and other times I let it slide.
I reckon what I'm trying to say is that the opinions of others don't mean as much as they used to to me, since folks who do that don't know me at
I woke up when I realized I was losing my wife, my parents, and everyone who truelly cared about me. I wasn't the guy I used to be. I was turning to
alcohol to make me feel better, I was abusive, and I shouldn't have been put into society the way I was. Im 26 years old.
Be glad you DID wake up to it, and early on. Some never do.
My wife was screaming, i put my fifteen round clip into my 40 caliber, closed my eyes, slid the chamber back and pulled the trigger. I still don't
know why the gun didn't discharge but it didn't. I guess it wasn't my time. My wife is going to have to have that picture in her mind for the rest
of her life. My problems didn't only affect me, they impacted my family.
Can't beat yourself up over it forever. What's done is done, can't be undone. All that's left to do is repair as best you can, and move THROUGH it
to the other side. Set your objective, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and don't stop or deviate until you get to that objective. You
know how to do that. You're a Marine.
Then set another objective.
I still right now don't feel like I have a place in society. I have nobody I can relate to until I met some great people on here.
It's not that you don't have a place in society, it's that you haven't yet found your new place, and integrated into it. You're changed, you're
not the same as you were, so of course your place isn't the one it was, the one you got comfortable with. There's a new place for you, you just have
to find it. Never give up, never give in, and KNOW beyond doubt that it's there, just waiting to be found. That's a key place where many go wrong.
They think they have no more place, and give up looking. I personally think that's why so many vets go into politics and business. We can get into
that next week.
You don't have to be against the war or for the war, there is an inbetween. I still love my country, we are one of the best. Different people have
different views. My brothers may be lost in some ways, but who isn't. I am here if anyone ever needs someone to talk to. If anyone ever feels down or
depressed I want you to talk to me. I know how you feel and I care about you. Everyone on here is special, and some people on here are struggling to
find a purpose or find reasoning. Im here if you need me. I wont be on marinesniper anymore, this is me. I love my family and I love you.
And that may well be you new place in society. I know that UNCG has a pretty good psych department, and I believe Chapel Hill does as well. My first
wife did her masters, and PhD in psych at UNCG, in part I think in an effort to fix me. It failed, of course, but that wasn't her fault, it was mine.
I just didn't have the right motivation at the time, fell down on MY job in the fixing, and the rest was history.
It might be that your new place is taking psychology and helping out the others, maybe even concentrating on returning vets. Can't NOBODY do that job
like one who's already been there, done that, and checked it off. No psychologist on the planet can get inside a vets head and know what's there
like one who's already been.
Then again, maybe not, maybe your place is somewhere else. Only YOU can figure that out. There's a whole world to explore, with a new perspective, so
feel it out, and never just settle. Find that place.
Neno....look forward to grabbin a burger with you this week.
Me too! I don't get out much...