To this day my memory of my childhood is not that great but I keep getting the feeling that, to remember my childhood, would help me understand myself
better these days.
I do remember little things and feelings...up until I was about 11 I felt/knew deep down that trees and rocks were alive...I would look at trees and
kind of 'look up to them' as if they were teachers or grandparents or something...I felt their energy in a limited sense. Same with rocks I felt like
different rocks had different energies or 'personalities' (as I would say when I was younger). For a good portion of my life 'common sense got to me'
so I stopped noticing stuff like that but now I am back to seeing the consciousness in rocks and tress.
I've always felt like an old soul...and not in an egotistical way, I dont feel that I am better than anyone else. But I've always felt like my role in
this lifetime doesn't match my true nature in the sense that I feel more like a leader deep down than I actually am in this life. I used to ask my mom
why people couldnt fly and be like super heroes... I really felt like thats how it should be and it really bothered me I couldn't do stuff like that.
When I was younger.....I felt like most kids my age wern't concious. I remember saying to my mom (when I was in first grade, or around then) "I feel
like Im more concious than most people". Just the way kids my age acted around eachother and treated eachother didn't vibe with me...seemed primitive.
Also for a large portion of my life I would randomly become homesick and I would say to my mom..."mom I feel homesick but I am home...I dont
understand"
I also remember very vaguely being very very young and kind of saying to myself "thank god your here!" (refering to my mom) as if I knew her before I
came into this life. For most of my life I was a mommas boy.
Another thing is throughout my childhood I would have routine BAD dreams...like dreams of being tormented and made fun of by what I would now call
'demonic beings'. I know kids have nightmares but I think this was a little different. Also I have a little theory that astral beings target young
scared kids in their dreams and feed off the fear. Looking back now I feel as though I was a target of some negative force.
My uncle told me about a year ago he used to see a little witch (witches) that would fly around his head and appear/disappear...he is an honest
sincere guy too, he wouldn't lie about that. He has good parents who raised him and his brothers/sister well. His grandpa either gave him or read to
him one of carlos casdenadas books at a young age because he was having trouble with negative astral beings...and after reading that you should
literally 'tackle your fears' one night when he was just about to fall asleep, which is when you are more receptive to other realities...he literally
got up and tackled an astral being that was bothering him...and after that he was left alone...I don't know if he tackled the being in his astral body
or what but he said he actually TOUCHED it it wasn't just a dream...I found this interesting.
edit on 12/9/2011 by ZacharyW because: (no reason given)
edit on 12/9/2011 by ZacharyW because: (no reason given)