posted on Feb, 2 2011 @ 11:17 PM
"You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else."
When I first read the above quote, taken from Chuck Palahniuk's book, Fight Club. I thought how dare he suggest that we as humans are not special.
How can we not be considered special?
That was back in 1996, iirc. Since that time I have been on a journey of sorts to find myself. To find out why I am the way I am and to also find out
how I can be the person I want to be. This journey has required me to change my thinking on many things. I think in the past I believed that I had it
all sussed out. It wasn't until I began to travel that I began to wake up. For most of my life I had never left my country of birth. I was very
fortunate to be born in a country with a very high standard of living. I never really went without as a child and my parents always did their best to
give me what I needed and not what I wanted. I was raised on Christian beliefs and surrounded by active believers. By the time I was 14 I was asking
questions that those I was surrounded by could not answer. I asked the head of my church a question at one point ( with so many religions in our
world, who is right?), he told me not to worry that our faith was right. Well that was it for me. I may have only been 14 but I knew bullsh it when I
heard it. I left the church.
Over the next decade or so I went out of my way to speak to Rabbis, Priests, Imam's, Monks the whole lot. None of them could give me what I was
looking for. I read a number of holy books but still found nothing of substance in any of them. To be honest they all seem similar to one another.
So back to Palahniuk's quote. The more I thought about it the more it began to make sense to me. I am not special and all I ever got from religion
was a divide. Us and them. Catholic Vs. Protestant, Jew Vs. Muslim. Each one of "them" believing that they are right. That they are special.
I began to read some books on Gandhi. Through his writings I slowly began to see that I was never going to find what I was looking for through
religion. You see I came to understand that I, just as Gandhi, was not seeking redemption from the consequences of my sin. I was seeking to be
redeemed from sin itself. And so, this became my personal religion if you will... To live sin free. To be the best person I can be.
You see, I am no more special than you... Not in any way shape or form. When it comes down to it we are all the same. Humans, animals. plants... we
live and we die and return to the soil. We are energy that recycles itself when we die. So while we are alive use that energy to the fullest. Treat
others well, do kind things but do not be limited to certain thoughts or beliefs. Just be the best person you can be.
I don't consider myself to be anything other than human. I have no faith in anything except myself. I don't pretend to have it all figured out, I am
just trying to understand it all the best I can.
Is it true what I heard about the Son of God?
Did he come to save? Did he come at all?
And if I dried his feet with my dirty hair,
would he make me clean again?
They say they don't know when, but a day is gonna come,
when there won't be a moon and there won't be a sun.
It will just go black, it will just go back
to the way it was before.
I knew a lovely girl with such pretty pride,
and every man wanted her, yeah and so did I.
Yeah, and so did I. But she up and died
in a fit of vanity.
Now men with purple hearts carry silver guns.
And they'll kill a man for what his father's done.
But what my father did, you know it don't mean #.
I'm not him.
And you think I need some discipline, well, I had my share.
I've been sent to my room. I've been sat in a chair.
And I held my tongue. I didn't plug my ears.
No, I got a good talking to.
Now I don't know why, but I still try to smile
when they talk at me like I'm just a child.
Well, I'm not a child. No, I am
much younger than that.
And now I've read some books and I've grown quite brave.
If I could just speak up, I think I would say
that there is no truth. There is only you
and what you make the truth.
So I'll just sing my songs, and I'll pass a hat.
Then I'll leave your town and I'll never look back.
No, I don't look back because the road is clear
and laid out ahead of me.
Now I'll get home, I'll meet my friends at our favourite bar.
We'll get some lighter heads for our heavy hearts.
And we'll share a drink. Yeah we'll share our fears
and they will know how I love them.
They will know how I love.
They will know how I love them.
I'm nothing without their love.
Now I don't know when, but a day is gonna come
when there won't be a moon and there won't be a sun.
It will all go black. It will all go back
to the way it's supposed to be.