What's the difference between love and a crush ?

Hello everybody.

What I'm seeking here is an objective definition that will separate having a crush - or an infatuation - on somebody, and actually being in love with them.

This thread is not some kind of ''cry for help'' LOL, and I'm asking purely out of curiosity.


I've probably had a crush on 7-8 women over the years, but I've never been in love... Or have I ?!

What's the difference ?


The floor - as they say - is yours.

A crush is the state of liking someone enough to date them and create a relationship. Once you've dated a woman and you're in a relationship, the love begins. There are exceptions, such as people who love their crushes at first sight.

From my experience a crush tends to go away about five minutes after "conquest" and you are left wondering just what you were thinking in the first place...

Love just gets more and more potent and powerful no matter what happens!

~Heff

A crush is something that passes with time and is easy to fall in and out of.

Love on the other hand is something you cant get out of even if it's bad for you and you don't even want it any more, it follows you around like a spectre in the night, haunting you and cant even be effected by things like your absolute disdain for the person your in love with.

A crush is like a slap in the face, love is like the 100 years war

They both suck, avoid at all costs.

At least a crush is cheaper :/

Love is for the weak, I know because she's a bitch and ...

reply to post by Sherlock Holmes


A crush can feel a lot like love. But in my experience anyway, having been in real love twice, each time it felt like I was literally bewitched lol. My emotions got control over my brain, songs on the radio and especially love songs moved me to tears, and colors around me looked so vibrant. It was like being on some kind of very powerful drug lol. In my experience.

A crush is pretty much a one way emotion. Love is both ways (in most cases, at least)

Basically with a crush you just want to score. If you really love someone, you want what is best for them even if that means they are with someone else.

Thanks for all of your comments.


People are stating that a ''crush'' is something that fades away over time, but isn't that just a case of a premature end to a love ?

What about someone who has a crush on a girl at school, and they turn into childhood sweethearts and live happily ever after ?!


What's the difference there ? Isn't that just an elongated crush ?

Where's the point when the crush becomes love ?

A crush is recreational admiration and sampling of the goods
Love can be an addiction, mentally and physically, for better and/or worse

I like some of the other answers too, for surely such complex subjects warrant varied definitions.

Peace,
spec

Originally posted by davespanners
A crush is something that passes with time and is easy to fall in and out of.

Love on the other hand is something you cant get out of even if it's bad for you and you don't even want it any more, it follows you around like a spectre in the night, haunting you and cant even be effected by things like your absolute disdain for the person your in love with.

A crush is like a slap in the face, love is like the 100 years war

That sounds more like obsession.

Which begs the question is love just an obsession?

A crush is what happens, when love did not work. At least that is what they all seem to say, "it was just a crush" and all that junk. And then.... well place all your reasons as you see fit for it being so, so as to justify it being so. One is for a short time, the other is a very long time. Which one is worse, love or a crush? Depends on the person, or persons involved. Would you really like to spend a lifetime with a crush? Or with a love? Whatever that means?

Hmm that word "crush" also sounds like shush or mush, swoosh, sounds mushy definitely. And who the hell made that word "love" up, well whoever did it must of been high, thats for sure, definitely on some strong stuff that would make you do crazy stuff, and invent crazy words. Anyways in one you trip and almost fall on your face, but you get to your senses before it happens, like a cat you always land on your feet.

In the other you fall straight on your face, therefore losing your senses and making you do and see crazy things, very much so unlike a cat. Though I once flipped a cat and it did not land on it's feet, but don't worry it was on the couch and the cat was alright. Now to the falling in love thing that everybody talks about. I think falling should be avoided, sounds dangerous and not very good for you health. Beware female types like to trip you when not looking, you have been warned.

In my opinion, and I know that I'm not the perfect one to give an opinion on such a topic as I've never been in love, goes as follows.

A crush is pretty much a feeling you get when you meet someone in person or see them on TV and you fall for their projected image. That projected image could be fame (I have a crush on this or that actress/actor), looks (wow, he/she is so hot I have a crush) or character (such a nice guy/girl, so sweet, I have a crush). That crush is then rapidly translated into sexual desire which makes you want to have mad sex with that particular individual.I said sex and not making love because it's not real love.

The love part is when we pass the stage of the projected image of beauty, fame, niceness and others and are able to dig into the person and see their true colors, once we get there and we still like what we see... that's called love and there starts the love making.

My opinion again :-)

reply to post by Sherlock Holmes


A tip for anyone that does not want to fall in love or have a crush, never look people in the eye. You never know when you can have feelings for someone, but to be sure do not look people in the eye, and it works.

On topic, i do not know, but i do know that i want nothing to do with either.

Originally posted by Namaste1001
Which begs the question is love just an obsession?

I think its a selfish need to create that warm feeling that people have, and once its gone they do not fill it with another spiritual things, so they become obsessed to get it back often.

To get over love, or crush, just fill your life with another spiritual path.

I think it is a good question and there are some good answers on here.

A crush is admiration from afar, most likely unreciprocated. It is the listing of qualities you admire about that person. it is pre-mature love. The crush can end as quickly as it began.

Love is reciprocated. Even then, there are stages of love.

A CRUSH is when you have amorous feelings towards someone based on a little information, including, but not limited to: appearance, apparent personality (in the setting you see the person), and possible compatibility. (when younger, social acceptance also plays a big role in this).

LOVE is when you have these same feelings towards someone you've actually had the opportunity to get to know, not just the front they put on for others. In addition, it's when you put this person's happiness above your own.

Now, this is romantic love, so just one of the flavors.... There's also love for family, pets, friends, etc. All different, but still "love" nonetheless....

This is also a way to define a crush :
"Illusion is the first of all pleasures"
Oscar Wilde

Originally posted by nixie_nox
A crush is admiration from afar, most likely unreciprocated. It is the listing of qualities you admire about that person. it is pre-mature love. The crush can end as quickly as it began.

Love is reciprocated. Even then, there are stages of love.

Aye, this is what I originally thought; a crush is often considered to be an unreciprocated feeling towards someone, yet some of my ''crushes'' have been reciprocated, it's just that the mutual feeling lasted about one month ( at most ! ), so I've just chalked these relationships up as a ''crush''.


I'm interested in your comment where you say that a crush is a ''pre-mature love''.

I guess you're saying that the initial crush is a training ground for feelings, and that a reciprocated love will grow from the initial, basic, romantic feelings.

If that is so, then doesn't that still just make love an extension of the original crush ?

Doesn't that ultimately make ''love'' a lottery where the ''jackpot'' is attempting to find someone who happens to have a reciprocal feeling towards us ?

May I ask you about your age Sherlock ? Just out of curiosity!!

As for your Q I'm in a relationship for like 7 years and I have to say that it's getting better and better per year. I think it's (real) love between me and my girlfriend. You see the difference between love and having a crush may be the time to get to know each other and "adjusting" one self to the partner.

Having a crush is a "speedway" of love I would call. But having a crush surely can transform into love !