because i am a man!

BECAUSE IAM A MAN "
( strickly humoris

Because iam a man , when i lock my keys in the car, i will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ingnore your suggestin that we call AAA intil long after hypothermina has set in .

because iam a man , when the car isnt running well, i will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if i know what the heck iam looking at, if another man shows up , one of us will say to the other " i used to fix these darn things but now with all these darn computers and everything,
i wouldnt know where to start"
we will then drink a beer .

because iam a man , when i catch a cold i need someone to bring me soup and take care of me , while i lie in bed and moan .
you never get as sick as i do ,
so for you this isnt an issue.

because iam a man , there is no need to ask me what iam thinking about .
the answer is always cars, sex or food , though i have to make up something else when you ask , so dont .

because iam a man , i dont want to visit your mother , or have your mother come visit , or talk to her when she calls , or think about her any more then i have to .
whatever you got her for mothers day is okay ,
i dont need to see it . and dont forget to pick up something for my mother too!

because iam man i must hold the tv remote in my hand , if the thing is misplaced , i may miss a whole show looking for it .( though one time i was able to survive by holding a calculator ).

because iam a man , i think that what your are wearing is fine . i thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine , too.
either pair of shoes is fine. with the belt or without looks fine . your hair is fine . you look fine .
can we just go now ????.

reply to post by alysha.angel


Let me retort:

Because iam a man , when i lock my keys in the car, i will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ingnore your suggestin that we call AAA intil long after hypothermina has set in .

Actually no, because I am a man, gimme a coat hanger and we will be on the road in 5 minutes.

because iam a man , when the car isnt running well, i will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if i know what the heck iam looking at, if another man shows up , one of us will say to the other " i used to fix these darn things but now with all these darn computers and everything,
i wouldnt know where to start"
we will then drink a beer .

Because I am a man if the car isn't running well I will take it to a mechanic because I have no freaking clue how to fix it.

because iam a man , when i catch a cold i need someone to bring me soup and take care of me , while i lie in bed and moan .
you never get as sick as i do ,
so for you this isnt an issue.

Man flu is a serious illness.

because iam a man , there is no need to ask me what iam thinking about .
the answer is always cars, sex or food , though i have to make up something else when you ask , so dont .

Yes please just don't ask me what I am thinking about. You really REALLY don't want to know.

because iam a man , i dont want to visit your mother , or have your mother come visit , or talk to her when she calls , or think about her any more then i have to .
whatever you got her for mothers day is okay ,
i dont need to see it . and dont forget to pick up something for my mother too!

Because I'm a man I love my momma, but your momma can go straight to hell that (long string of defamatory remarks and swears).

because iam man i must hold the tv remote in my hand , if the thing is misplaced , i may miss a whole show looking for it .( though one time i was able to survive by holding a calculator ).

Don't misplace the remote. I'll chain it to my chair if you loose it again, I swear to god I will.

because iam a man , i think that what your are wearing is fine . i thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine , too.
either pair of shoes is fine. with the belt or without looks fine . your hair is fine . you look fine .
can we just go now ????.

Yes, whatever you are wearing is fine good lord you married a straight guy here. I really don't care if you go out in sweats. Cmon, were already a half an hour late!

reply to post by alysha.angel


Yes, and because I am a man...

I want to know why you don't show some consideration sometimes and leave the toilet lid up.

I want to know why you don't understand that Super Bowl Sunday is the most important day of the year.

I want to know why it is so important to you that I throw out my lucky shorts that I have been wearing since High School.

I want to know why it is okay for you to say that Brad Pitt is hot...but I get whacked upside my head if you even think that I looked at that hot chick who just wiggled by in the short-shorts (okay...I did look).

I want to know why you didn't think it was funny when I tricked my little nephew into pulling my finger at your parent's 25th wedding anniversary party.

I want to know why I can't tell you that your butt looks a tad big nowadays in spandex shorts...but it is okay for you to chastise me about my "so-called" beer belly. Is your chocolate so superior to my Bud Light?

And for the record... I am not bitter

Originally posted by mobiusmale
reply to post by alysha.angel

 

Yes, and because I am a man...

I want to know why you don't show some consideration sometimes and leave the toilet lid up.

I want to know why you don't understand that Super Bowl Sunday is the most important day of the year.

I want to know why it is so important to you that I throw out my lucky shorts that I have been wearing since High School.

I want to know why it is okay for you to say that Brad Pitt is hot...but I get whacked upside my head if you even think that I looked at that hot chick who just wiggled by in the short-shorts (okay...I did look).

I want to know why you didn't think it was funny when I tricked my little nephew into pulling my finger at your parent's 25th wedding anniversary party.

I want to know why I can't tell you that your butt looks a tad big nowadays in spandex shorts...but it is okay for you to chastise me about my "so-called" beer belly. Is your chocolate so superior to my Bud Light?

And for the record... I am not bitter

i dont think brad pitt is hot in the least just for the record

Because iam a man , when i lock my keys in the car, i will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ingnore your suggestin that we call AAA intil long after hypothermina has set in .

Look, I've actually been able to get into my wife's Camaro, after locking the keys inside...with a SWORD...and not damage the car! (seriously, this really happened, ask her). (though not without a great deal of laughter from my friends). Do you have any idea what a locksmith would charge at 1am? (I do, about $150!)

Edit to add, shortly after this, I was able to procure a slim-jim kit that works very well for such circumstances. Of course, as my wife does this all the time, I always have a spare key to her car on my keychain.

because iam a man , when the car isnt running well, i will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if i know what the heck iam looking at, if another man shows up , one of us will say to the other " i used to fix these darn things but now with all these darn computers and everything,
i wouldnt know where to start"
we will then drink a beer .

Sometimes it's obvious, but usually not, and then it's time to go to a mechanic. (and it's perfectly true that older cars are easier to fix. I never had any training, etc. and yet usually managed to fix a car now and then while growing up...do the same thing they do...replace parts until it works).

because iam a man , when i catch a cold i need someone to bring me soup and take care of me , while i lie in bed and moan .
you never get as sick as i do ,
so for you this isnt an issue.

Honestly, this is because when sick, we finally get to do the one thing we always long to do...NOTHING, and without any kind of guilt trip, etc. So, we play it up a bit to ensure the lack of guilt. Honestly though, we fool even OURSELVES into thinking we are that miserable too....

because iam a man , there is no need to ask me what iam thinking about .
the answer is always cars, sex or food , though i have to make up something else when you ask , so dont .

If it's not one of those things, it's something that would equally make you roll your eyes...

because iam a man , i dont want to visit your mother , or have your mother come visit , or talk to her when she calls , or think about her any more then i have to .
whatever you got her for mothers day is okay ,
i dont need to see it . and dont forget to pick up something for my mother too!

We usually don't even talk to our own mother all that much, so there you go.

because iam man i must hold the tv remote in my hand , if the thing is misplaced , i may miss a whole show looking for it .( though one time i was able to survive by holding a calculator ).

Don't have to hold it, just have to have it within reach. If not, then we have kids, so THEY can get up and change the channel.

because iam a man , i think that what your are wearing is fine . i thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine , too.
either pair of shoes is fine. with the belt or without looks fine . your hair is fine . you look fine .
can we just go now ????.

If we say nothing, we avoid saying the WRONG thing. Besides, we're always just picturing you naked anyhow, so it really doesn't matter.