November 2010 - A change...indescribable

Very weird. I've had changes too, but they probably started right around the new year. Like you, OP, I've stopped caring about a lot of stuff like working out, my eating habits have changed. I feel extremely hungry but I get full really quickly for some reason. My sleeping patterns are completely messed up. I'm starting to remember my dreams almost every night whereas I usually never remembered them before. I've gotten a huge urge to learn for some reason, and a feeling that something big is going on. Kind of like a feeling of anticipation, but I don't know what I'm anticipating. I've lost interests in things I was interested in before and gained totally new ones.

Now, it may be nothing, but with everything that's happened so far in the new year (hasn't even been a month!), and everyone saying that they're experiencing some big changes in their lives, I can't help but wonder WTH IS GOING ON!

reply to post by apodictic


Yeah ive kinda noticed in this thread that a few people have been feeling similar although not exactly the same and around different times...

Thanks for sharing, i am getting even more curious now that more people seem to be feeling similar things.. it's kinda strange although i wont rule out the possibility thats it's all unrelated..being objective and all.

But thanks for your input i still dont know what im doing though or what i should be doing.. I've lost total track of my goals, ambitions and everything else.

Originally posted by Havick007
reply to post by apodictic

 

Yeah ive kinda noticed in this thread that a few people have been feeling similar although not exactly the same and around different times...

Thanks for sharing, i am getting even more curious now that more people seem to be feeling similar things.. it's kinda strange although i wont rule out the possibility thats it's all unrelated..being objective and all.

But thanks for your input

i still dont know what im doing though or what i should be doing.. I've lost total track of my goals, ambitions and everything else.

Hi Havick!

I went through something similar about 3 years ago. It had phases of a few months of wanted to solitude myself. I found personally, that reading things that fed my philosophical side of me, seemed to give me what I was needing. I read SOOO much stuff during these times...sometimes would be up till 3 in the morning reading. It helped me 'feel connected' to humans, to learn about the way they thought way back then and try to understand why they believed in what they did (they had real reasons to believe what they did). I loved reading about quantum science and how the earth and everything together seemed to be a 'huge one thing' that was all working together...manifesting 'something more'.

My lack of 'being with people' seemed to go along the lines that simple socialness was not feeding what my inner being seemed to be needed. Out ego and personality feeds on certain kinds of 'being' and our inner self as we grow up feeds on a different kind of 'being'. I discovered my inner being was NEEDED TO BE FED

All my dreams seemed related to this...some gave me deep choices to make in the dreams, like a 'game' that I had to try to 'win'. Some should be desires of myself I didnt really know I focused so much on in life or fears that I try to ignore. Once I faced these self desires and fears, worked on them, figured out ways I could control them more and not let them control me....I felt a inner growing going on and at times it was such a mystical experience that I could of just left the whole world and went off into the forest somewhere and been totally content the rest of my life with just me and nature. A overwhelming sense of 'oneness' began to grow in me and this eventually led me back into the 'family gatherings' and some 'socialness'. What I learned was, I had things to offer others while with them....bringing a patient smile to gatherings, bringing a care for them, showing them sincere attention, and low and behold....it seemed many of them was needing something from me, which was for the most part, sincere attention, love, and a good listening ear. I eventually did not go to social gatherings for 'myself' but went more for 'others'. People need other peoples energy....and unconditional love is something that others are in need of. Sometimes its still hard to participate in what I find to be waste of time talking alot about things that just dont matter to me anymore....but I step back and smile at letting everyone be who they are, where they are, and love them for that.

For me...I cant describe it another way but the Spirit within me was calling me...and the Spirit within all other life around me...responded as well. As I pondered and studying and meditated....it was like the Spirit within me was seeking harmony in itself with all the other life around me which it was also in. But first....it had to awaken within me. It longed for observation of things, awareness of 'cause and effect' within all events and behaviors, a recognition of all my actions of the past and a healing from them. A forgiving of myself for many things and then a forgiving of all events of mankind, ever.

I dont do parties anymore (like going out on friday nights for no real reason)....but if a friend has a birthday or something and everyone is going out...I try to make an appearance for a couple hours. I find small talk....really really agitating now. Friends would get upset for I would not sit on the phone small talking about nothing (Im a girl and girls are known to 'just talk' lol).

What feeds me now in life...is trying to give others, what they are in need of. Attention, a smile, a hug, eye contact, advice, or just unconditional love.

I think the 'real you'....the 'IAM' within you....is stirring. To let this take effect, your intellectual mind, your personality, will need to choose to step aside while you ponder on what this 'IAM' within you is. It seeks harmony in itself and since its within all life...it seeks harmony with life.

Are you a nature person? Something that drew me in was sitting with the trees....they hold so much wisdom. Sit outside with the wind....let it carry whispers to you. Step out and say hello to the Universe....and let the Spirit within all things....say hello back to you. As the IAM within you can show awareness to itself that is outside of you in all life through your eyes....the IAM that is within all things around you is going to show awareness back to YOU.

I think that within you.....a 'face' moves upon the waters.

reply to post by LeoVirgo


Thanks

I dont know what else to say.. but yeah thanks for your comments, insight and sharing your own stories. It helps to hear similar things to what i have been feeling lately.

I feel like i just need to hit some ''reset'' button or something. I can relate to being social as well, i am the same. I dont go out much now....i used to help organise work functions and dinners etc and then it would come to the night and i wouldnt wanna go and the same sorta stuff friends etc...

What you said about helping others and ''the real me'' stuff like that does make sense. Lately i have been feeling or thinking about the 5-6 years and what i have done with myself since leaving school and really i feel likes it all been a waste, compared to what some others have done, i have just been wasting my time or going in the wrong direction.

reply to post by Havick007


It's funny you should bring this subject up,because i have been talking about this with a friend (who doesnt own a computer or takes part in the internet).The general consensus is a lack of interest in anything,not getting enjoyment out of pastimes and a feeling of apathy.More of a waiting feeling,for what ,i dont know.Thanks for letting me know its more widespread.

reply to post by 12voltz


It's strange, i just hate feeling uncertain or not knowing what i am doing...

Apathy i something id have to relate to, very empathetic as well ( at the moment im arguing with people in a thread i started about WW2 and all the civilian deaths caused by the Atomic bombings )

It's sadening all thise deaths... but all people see and remember is that we won the war..

Ive actually been called a USA basher - in hignsight the thread title could have been more gentle but i am far from USA basher. Lately i feel more strongly and think like this; we are all the same, all one Human Race, no matter what ''country'' what colour your skin is etc etc. Obviously thats common sense but it's only lately that i really think alot about it. All the wars, conflict, different states of mind and political agendas. Why cant we all agree and work together.

Originally posted by Havick007
reply to post by 12voltz

 

It's strange, i just hate feeling uncertain or not knowing what i am doing...

Apathy i something id have to relate to, very empathetic as well ( at the moment im arguing with people in a thread i started about WW2 and all the civilian deaths caused by the Atomic bombings )

It's sadening all thise deaths... but all people see and remember is that we won the war..

Ive actually been called a USA basher - in hignsight the thread title could have been more gentle but i am far from USA basher. Lately i feel more strongly and think like this; we are all the same, all one Human Race, no matter what ''country'' what colour your skin is etc etc. Obviously thats common sense but it's only lately that i really think alot about it. All the wars, conflict, different states of mind and political agendas. Why cant we all agree and work together.

It is so odd hearing these words and seeing your avatar! I agree with these words, I just keep seeing the avatar speaking them!

It is clear, all of our "knowns" have become "unknowns", even the simplest thoughts are changing by circumstances that do not make sense any more these days. Maybe our poles within are reversing in a more positive light! I certainly look forward to seeing the elites jump ship when they all realize that their "knowns" are nothing more than controlling manipulations and that they are unraveling before their eyes.

reply to post by Greensage


yeah i think i know what you mean?? I picked that avatar because to me, it showed strength and conviction.. but lately i feel the complete the opposite.

Is that what you meant?