To the Man-God who decided to board my boat

Well, Shane me hearty, if you ever get down and out broke, its a sure bet you could pawn that golden tongue of yours for a hefty sum!
Made my day!
thanks!

This must be one of the best ever things I have read on the internet.

I am speechless, this is a work of genius. Absolutely hilarious.

Glorious.
I don't know you, sir, but you are clealy some type of wonderful genius. Please rant every day and send me direct links.

Sorry I found this rant a little self imposing

reply to post by gnosticquasar


Aussies are like Canadians!! Very polite and kind......often kindness is misjudged for weakness, we know what happens after that assumption I am betting since you handled it so fearlessly, that you would have been more than a match for the sorry beerbelly. You handled everything perfectly...excellent rant....very very funny...made my afternoon. Goodluck with the cleanup of the hull.....and Karma is probably catching up with him by now anyway...

...children can follow thier parents or learn to take a different approach to life, but without someone showing them an alternative way to behave they often get lost.....you can feel good knowing the boy will always remember the event....and your positive behavior in light of everything will provide him with a lesson....

reply to post by shamus78


Very well put together I don't think I've laughed that hard in quite awhile, and in this day in age quality laughter is gold. I'm glad your well built boat didn't take too much damage. I'm suprised though that a pissed off naked man wasn't an automatic repel borders. I hope you didn't anger the man god too greatly lest he asks Davy Jones to show you his locker.

reply to post by shamus78


Fantastic, l'm still laughing. lf only l could have ranted half as good as you l could have been divorced 10 years earlier. Brilliant. What a wordsmith you are, lol.

reply to post by shamus78


Beautiful, just simply beautiful, someday I may be as eloquent as you. Instead I tend to cuss and throw things.
Thanks for making my day, and I hope your boats ok, may the other guy have all the bad luck this little witch can hex him with.
R.

who BTW is American and is constantly ashamed of the some of our citizens lack of respect for the others in this world. We aren't always right, unfortunately there are quite a few of us who never reach a point where we see that. Sorry again.

Eloquent and scathing.

A star and flag, good sir.

Oh, that was your boat? of course, the chances of hitting someone 45 miles out to sea, AND that person HAPPENS to be on your favorite forum..

By the way, next time, relax, and don't curse infront of the child, I'm an American, and this could be my boat

I am amazed by your wordcraft, sir! I get seasick looking at a wading pool, but I've spoken with those who are far more sea-worthy than myself. Boarding another craft without permission from inhabitants, and worse yet, bringing along a child to add to potential trauma is not the right thing to do, no matter what. Would you just blithely walk through the front door of someone's home? Not in Texas. You get your head blown off. If the idiot was so entirely mindless as to do both, then he well deserved far more than a tongue lashing and an eyeful of brazen nakedness. He should be kissing your feet while backing away quickly, praying that you don't feed him to the shark-gods.

Oh, and not all americans are as obnoxious or overbearing as the lout you had the displeasure of encountering, but I fear its only getting worse.

reply to post by Omega85


I HATE when people say "if that was me i would have knocked him out......." No you would not have done that just keep on munching on those doritos.

Most well written thread ever.

Your ability to praise such a god is most definitely worthy to speak of such an encounter.

I particularly enjoyed the part about the gut+agility+ninja discipline.

Lol! To bad he will pretty surely never read this.

Bravo!
Encore, encore...
Hat off to you
That. Was. Awesome!

Great rant! I wish you smooth sailing and calm seas.

Great Rant! I felt as though i was there.

Just curious.. what kind of poison did you use in the childs water?

reply to post by shamus78


Here's how an American would've handled the same situation. The man would've came in the quarters and been greeted by a revolver and told to get the %$^% off the boat. You Aussies are real civil. I give you credit for being so nice.

Hi All,

Wow, thank you all very much for the nice comments. I really appreciate it greatly. Just finishing up a horror short story to post on ATS, but now I'm trying to get agitated about stuff so I can rant some more. It's kinda hard because my life is pretty much stress free!

Cheers and thanks,
Shane

reply to post by shamus78


It's good to here your doing more writing. I've read all your stories here on ATS, and look forward to reading this new one! Why are you a farmer when you could be an author?

Any chance you can give me a hint of what it's about? If you can switch between comedy and horror then you have my deepest respect, and after reading The Solitary Knock (which was awesome) I know you can!