The following rant is about a person who decided to walk onto my boat while anchored 45 miles offshore, for a rigging test before I take off on the
30th for the Pacific.
To the God that decided to visit me while 45 miles off shore:
I'm sorry you almost hit me, the only boat within 20 miles of your position, in clear sunlight with perfect visibility. I really am. It was entirely
my fault for being inconsiderate enough to leave my night lights on and to hoist a red flag onto the masthead. This is my mistake, and I will take it
to heart and not commit the same mistake again. You are right, your fibreglass 28ft day sailor may have caused major damage to my 35 foot,
re-enforced steel hull. Had I not made some changes last year and added an even more re-enforced bow, sheeted with 2 inch boilerplate, I may not have
survived this encounter. For this I am eternally happy, and will from this day on whisper your name whilst holding a candle to the sky in thanks
every 16th of January until I die. All though I noticed you did not introduce yourself, or even shake my hand when extended.
You were right, as you pointed out many times, that fibreglass is the strongest and most flexible boat building material in the world. It was my
fault (and mine alone) that my coral crusher boat is not up to your lofty standards. I regret making my boat strong enough to sail thru pack ice, when
there was a far better material to make her with. But I am just a mortal, not an offspring of Poseidon, as you surely are. You were right, I should
have never corrected you regarding steel hulls, as your knowledge obviously exceeded mine. I am just glad you decided to spare me, as I feel the
width and breadth of your intellect would be capable of crushing me like the tiny little bug I am. You knew even more about my own boat then I, and
the information you graciously provided me will forever be in my heart. Thank you. I only wish that you had remained at my side, so we could have
cruised the oceans together, and I could be told of all the mistakes I have made. But to dream a future such as that would make heaven seem mundane.
I admit, it is wrong that I sleep naked. For this, I cannot apologise enough. It was also wrong for me to have the gall to be asleep at 10 in the
morning, even though I had sailed thru the night and only had 2 hours sleep the previous day. A petty excuse, I know. If I were more like you, then
I surely would have found the discipline to stay awake.
Further more, it is with great sadness that I was not expecting company, 45 miles from land. The sadness was only intensified when I realised that
you had brought your young son on board my boat (as is your divine right) and I was somewhat groggy, naked and swearing. This is my fault, and mine
alone. If I could fuse my knees to the ground so I would be eternally grovelling to you, I would do so. But I do not have the correct tools, or the
requisite training to do so.
You may recall I stopped cursing when I realised you weren't meaning any harm. I am traumatic with despair that this took me some minutes to do so.
I am fallible, just like any human. I just did not expect a God to climb aboard my boat, open the door to the hull and begin asking if anyone was
home. My home is your home, and you had every right to do so. You were right to berate me for using such language around your child. Yet, compared
to any mortal utterings, the words that flowed from your mouth seemed as sweet as any water could be to a dying man.
I am in torment with eternal agony for not putting my clothes on sooner. This was entirely my fault. For this reason, and this reason alone, I feel
my soul shall be taken by the Devil some day, for it was not right to except you to not enter my cabin. I was particularly awed by your steady sea
legs, and by the fact that you managed to only knock over a few things as you walked around. All this on a calm day, when the sea was like deep-green
glass. You are remarkable Sir. I particularly enjoyed the way you managed to knock over a vase purely with your gut. Such agility is seldom seen
outside the discipline of the Ninja.
Yes, I realised that you were American when you first woke me from my sleep, but thank you for repeating it over and over again for the first few
minutes. My Australian brain had some trouble understanding that, and you are right to re-enforce the message again and again. You are a sound
educator and superb linguist. I also understand that although you mentioned many times that you had sailed over from America, it must be coincidence
that the very same boat is available for hire in Busselton. If I could rip out my heart and present it to you as penance, I would do so. Such are
You were assuredly within your rights to not let me pass some water to your son, even though he said he was thirsty. For a man as royal as you would
most probably used to assassination attempts. I cannot apologise enough for not following royal protocol and firstly giving the water to your royal
taster, who I assume was the young girl vomiting off the side of your boat. I particularly enjoyed the way you mumbled at your son while I was in the
hull, and thus couldn't hear you completely. Whatever you said, it cured your sons thirst, even for a sealed can of Coke. Such words seldom have
such a miraculous effect.
And have I praised your docking? Never before have I seen such skill and expertise. It is obvious why you didn't lower some transoms over your hull,
for the obvious protection they provide was not necessary for you. I am humbled that you managed to leave a white smear from your boat on my black
hull. I shall immediately varnish over it to preserve it for all time, and shall adopt it as a symbol to attract new followers to your Godliness.
With hope, the white smear will soon be as universally accepted as the Christan cross.
Your unexpected appearance did bless me with an ever tingling sense of belong... of purpose. Although I may have seemed unpleasant and undeserving,
rest assured you have made a convert out of me, and I shall be sure to teach the valuable lessons of that day to my children. One of whom I shall
assuredly name after you. If only I knew your name.
Yours in awe,
edit on 20-1-2011 by shamus78 because: added praise