reply to post by 5MaveN5
Whoopins' worked when I was in school...I was a talker...but it was quelled when I got spanked by the big holey paddle and then my butt was again
beaten at home...I have attempted to give such permissions to the teachers and principals of my sons...but they say corporal punishment is not
allowed. I retort, I am giving you allowance with MY children. They apologize and say they wish things were different...and I say that's one of the
biggest problems!! So good luck!
Spare the rod, spoil the child.
I want to take this moment to thank the assinine parents who filed lawsuits back in the 90's against corporal punishment...(sarcasm-rich)
Middle School Student Behavior, page 2
reply posted on 15-1-2011 @ 10:56 AM by davespanners
reply to post by staciebee
In the UK your not even allowed to physically discipline your children yourself as it's counted as assault.
I have to say my parents did give me a bit of a slap a few times when I was out of line and I think it worked
In the UK your not even allowed to physically discipline your children yourself as it's counted as assault.
I have to say my parents did give me a bit of a slap a few times when I was out of line and I think it worked
reply posted on 15-1-2011 @ 11:03 AM by Iamherefornow
reply to post by XxRagingxPandaxX
I remember when my neighbor was pregnant with her son. I have been around since he was born and watched him grow up. He is 6 years old. She never disciplines him and never has, not only that she speaks to him like he is an adult.
I have seen him tell her he wants something and when she does not get it right away and he will walk up and hit her with his fist , several times. He also does this if she tells him to do something he does not want to do. She does nothing when he does this, so this is where the "problem children" start. He will also throw a fit if he thinks she should buy him a video game and she does not get in the car and take him right away.
I am 48 years old and my dad would have busted my a** if ever I hit my mother at any age or so much as talked back to her, these kids have no consequence for anything they do. I was also placed on restriction to my room and things taken away when I did misbehave, parents would never do that now.They use video games and the TV to babysit their kids so they don`t have to be bothered with them. Therefore lack of parenting and discipline.
I remember when my neighbor was pregnant with her son. I have been around since he was born and watched him grow up. He is 6 years old. She never disciplines him and never has, not only that she speaks to him like he is an adult.
I have seen him tell her he wants something and when she does not get it right away and he will walk up and hit her with his fist , several times. He also does this if she tells him to do something he does not want to do. She does nothing when he does this, so this is where the "problem children" start. He will also throw a fit if he thinks she should buy him a video game and she does not get in the car and take him right away.
I am 48 years old and my dad would have busted my a** if ever I hit my mother at any age or so much as talked back to her, these kids have no consequence for anything they do. I was also placed on restriction to my room and things taken away when I did misbehave, parents would never do that now.They use video games and the TV to babysit their kids so they don`t have to be bothered with them. Therefore lack of parenting and discipline.
reply posted on 15-1-2011 @ 11:07 AM by Iamherefornow
reply to post by staciebee
StacieBee
I agree
Yes I got my rear end paddled a few time by the principal with the holey paddle too in school, Not only did it hurt, it was humiliating when the whole school found out you got paddled.
Oh and when I got home and my dad found out I would have some more punishment waiting usually restriction of some type.
StacieBee
I agree
Yes I got my rear end paddled a few time by the principal with the holey paddle too in school, Not only did it hurt, it was humiliating when the whole school found out you got paddled.
Oh and when I got home and my dad found out I would have some more punishment waiting usually restriction of some type.
edit on 15-1-2011 by
Iamherefornow because: added content
reply posted on 15-1-2011 @ 11:12 AM by simone50m
Originally posted by Iamherefornow
reply to post by staciebee
StacieBee
I agree
Yes I got my rear end paddled a few time by the principal with the holey paddle too in school, Not only did it hurt, it was humiliating when the whole school found out you got paddled.
Oh and when I got home and my dad found out I would have some more punishment waiting usually restriction of some type.edit on 15-1-2011 by Iamherefornow because: added content
In early grade school in my classes, the offending kid was brought up in front of the class and beated on his bare butt with a great big wooden paddle and all of us sitting there, had to watch. This one particular kid who got it seemed to me in retrospect like he had Autism.
reply posted on 15-1-2011 @ 11:17 AM by 5MaveN5
Originally posted by XxRagingxPandaxX
reply to post by 5MaveN5
Spare the rod spoil the child bull#. I'm 16, i'v been spanked twice my entire life, i'm not unruly, I make good grades, and i'm a good kid. Although I completely agree that your child SHOULD be disciplined, I think beating them is completely uncalled for and child abuse. I'm not saying you do, but thats what your post could be interpreted as! Also it is fair to mention people are different and there is only one of me, everyone is different so everyone calls for a little different parenting style, but i'm against people beating their kids!
I do agree with you there Panda. I used the "rod" to make a point. Perhaps I should have said that children NEED "Discipline", they need structure, order, rules, and consequences.
Actually "time-out" works really well, unfortunatley when dealing with a 1 or 2 year old a pat on the backside is easy to dole out as a parent. Time outs can be very dramatic with an upset child.
And I do treat my kid's fairly and with respect and as individuals. But I will spank their ass.. If I tell my one year old to get away from the hot stove and he continues to reach for it after a verbal warning, I will grab him and spank his butt. Think he would understand a time out, at that time, if I remove hime and set him in a corner?? maybe, but he will definately think twice after a pop. I don't know if that sounds extreme, but that exact scene just happened two days ago. And no, after they are toddlers I do not believe spanking is really appropriate, unless it is really used to make a strong point...
Oh, and I love my kids more than life itself.. and they know it..
reply posted on 15-1-2011 @ 11:18 AM by XxRagingxPandaxX
reply to post by Iamherefornow
Don't get me wrong i'm all for discipline if needed, and like I said kids are different so therefore need different parenting styles, but I can assure you i'v never hit my mother or father, I don't throw baby fits, and i'v been spanked twice in my life. So like I said it depends on the kid. But my point is grounding a child and punishing it is one thing, I have no problems with spankings, but beating a child is a whole different story!
Don't get me wrong i'm all for discipline if needed, and like I said kids are different so therefore need different parenting styles, but I can assure you i'v never hit my mother or father, I don't throw baby fits, and i'v been spanked twice in my life. So like I said it depends on the kid. But my point is grounding a child and punishing it is one thing, I have no problems with spankings, but beating a child is a whole different story!
reply posted on 15-1-2011 @ 11:22 AM by XxRagingxPandaxX
reply to post by 5MaveN5
No, that doesn't sound extreme and seems like good parenting, and it's good that you love your kids. I just thought your post could be interpreted as you beat your children to show authority or whatever and I just wanted to clear that up.
star for you.
No, that doesn't sound extreme and seems like good parenting, and it's good that you love your kids. I just thought your post could be interpreted as you beat your children to show authority or whatever and I just wanted to clear that up.
star for you.
reply posted on 15-1-2011 @ 11:40 AM by Iamherefornow
reply to post by XxRagingxPandaxX
I never got a beating in my whole life but I was scared to death of my dad. I knew there would be actions for any misbehavior I did. Never a beating. These kids now are scared of nothing not even the police, going to jail, nothing scares them. I had a 13 year old playing with a gun shoot a hole in my front porch. His mother was MIA and her son was out roaming the neighborhood carrying a 9mm handgun, who knows where it came from.
I never got a beating in my whole life but I was scared to death of my dad. I knew there would be actions for any misbehavior I did. Never a beating. These kids now are scared of nothing not even the police, going to jail, nothing scares them. I had a 13 year old playing with a gun shoot a hole in my front porch. His mother was MIA and her son was out roaming the neighborhood carrying a 9mm handgun, who knows where it came from.
edit on
15-1-2011 by Iamherefornow because: spelling
reply posted on 15-1-2011 @ 12:09 PM by staciebee
reply to post by simone50m
Bare bottom??? Whoa! Where were you raised? And when?
That would definitely garner lawsuits these days! Scary, humiliating thought..glad we got to keep our clothes on! And the paddling was either done by the teacher in the hallway or by the principal in his office. 3rd grade was my repeat offender year. Seems like I was in trouble every other week.
Of course, the paddlings kept me under control...but didn't damage my spirit, as I am a happy, social butterfly at age 34..
Bare bottom??? Whoa! Where were you raised? And when?
That would definitely garner lawsuits these days! Scary, humiliating thought..glad we got to keep our clothes on! And the paddling was either done by the teacher in the hallway or by the principal in his office. 3rd grade was my repeat offender year. Seems like I was in trouble every other week.
Of course, the paddlings kept me under control...but didn't damage my spirit, as I am a happy, social butterfly at age 34..
reply posted on 15-1-2011 @ 12:26 PM by staciebee
reply to post by davespanners
Hey friend...sometimes it would seem verbal abuse is longer lasting and more traumatizing. I speak from the experience of my childhood where I was called the b word more often than my given name...
My parents also went overboard with the lashings, so it is hard for me to spank my children...but I have from time to time. When I say spare the rod, spoil the child, during biblical times, the rod was used to keep the flocks of animals (sheep, etc) in line. A good shepard would not necessarily strike the animal, but run it along their sides to guide them and keep them on the right path.
I try hard to use this line of guidance, by setting high standards, being a good example (though I am FAR from perfect) and giving them consequences. Because school was very difficult for me, aside from music and writing classes, I probably have way too much understanding...and thusly, my boys don't make very good grades. And yet all four are very bright, active children with strong spirits.
I disagree with Aggieman's (Gig'em, by the way) suggestion that school should be voluntary. Each student will hone their interests and talents if given the right environment to do so...that would be the basis for educating ALL children, even the ones who don't fit nicely into the peg they try to cram them into. We all learn differently and at different rates. It disguusts me that one would have the notion of giving up entirely on troubled/struggling/active children just because they present a challenge! ¡Ay carumba!!
Hey friend...sometimes it would seem verbal abuse is longer lasting and more traumatizing. I speak from the experience of my childhood where I was called the b word more often than my given name...
My parents also went overboard with the lashings, so it is hard for me to spank my children...but I have from time to time. When I say spare the rod, spoil the child, during biblical times, the rod was used to keep the flocks of animals (sheep, etc) in line. A good shepard would not necessarily strike the animal, but run it along their sides to guide them and keep them on the right path.
I try hard to use this line of guidance, by setting high standards, being a good example (though I am FAR from perfect) and giving them consequences. Because school was very difficult for me, aside from music and writing classes, I probably have way too much understanding...and thusly, my boys don't make very good grades. And yet all four are very bright, active children with strong spirits.
I disagree with Aggieman's (Gig'em, by the way) suggestion that school should be voluntary. Each student will hone their interests and talents if given the right environment to do so...that would be the basis for educating ALL children, even the ones who don't fit nicely into the peg they try to cram them into. We all learn differently and at different rates. It disguusts me that one would have the notion of giving up entirely on troubled/struggling/active children just because they present a challenge! ¡Ay carumba!!
reply posted on 15-1-2011 @ 04:27 PM by mythos
Originally posted by gougitousakusha
reply to post by aero56
this is the result of bad parenting. you really should be able to go to the house an give one of them a smack on the head. go into the parents place of work and act like their brat child, then ask what kind of mood it left them in.
this 'epidemic' transcends bad parenting. i have been an educator for 15+ years, and have worked with a wide spectrum of youth; from those labeled 'at-risk', to the privileged, and have certainly noticed a downward spiral trend in their general behavior, in their natural curiosity, in the capacity of their imagination, in their willingness to learn, in their overall understanding of and ability to show respect.
indeed parental involvement (or lack thereof) plays a huge role in the issue at hand.
as well, there are many other factors contributing to the overall decay of the modern education system: standardized testing. a focus on math & science at the expense of the arts. underpaid staff. overwhelming teacher to student ratios (30+ kids for 1 teacher is fairly common for public school). not to mention the fact that children aren't necessarily wired to sit in classrooms all day and read books to regurgitate info.
in other words, the education system is certainly fraught with many complications.
and yet, all of this aside, i firmly believe that the #1 culprit afflicting our youth today is their overexposure to mass media... be it cyber, tele, celular, twitter, skype, etc. etc. etc.
not only are we as educators competing against the pandora's box of instant gratification & stimulation offered by our current information boom, but much of the actual content of this info is of a scandalous, violent or demeaning nature; celebratory of the baser emotions.
just go to yahoo or any other MSM page and try to avoid flashing boobs, or petty posturing of tween stars or premadonna athletes, or the exaltation of $$$ and bling, or countless other sophomoric expressions of our less than stellar human nature.
and i have not yet touched upon what commercial advertising has done to the self-esteem of our youth!!
a societies behavior was once modeled by our storytellers and our sages. well, our storytellers and sages have been supplanted by the "Snookys" and the "Miley Cyrus's" of the world - crass caricatures paraded hourly on the instomatic screens we all seem compulsively addicted to.
www.msnbc.msn.com...
no wonder our children can't use their imaginations any more.
there is that buddhist proverb about the tea cup being full, and therefor the individual has no room for further knowledge. well our youth's heads are brimmed to the rim, practically overflowing with a universe of pixilated nonsense.
it makes me sad.
and yet that is why i am in this vocational field. to sneak through all that garbage that occupies their collective conscious to try and help them to recognize that a truer power lay inside themselves...
the power of imagination. of creativity. of nature. of self esteem. of listening. of curiosity. of respect. etc. etc. etc.
and of course i am certainly not the only one, and have had the fortune of knowing many, many educators who are doing their part to "unpollute" the minds of our youth.
well... sorry for the diatribe. it is a matter close to my heart, and i do not think a catch all blaming of the parents is the solution. there are much larger forces at work here.
cheers.
PS... of course, a responsible parent goes a long way, but no parent can (or should) monitor their kids 24/7.
especially when they have the TV and computer to do it for them!
PPS... not all internet and TV is evil, of course. i mean, hurray for ATS, right?
reply posted on 15-1-2011 @ 04:36 PM by freedish
reply to post by aero56
i guarantee you half of these problem could be fixed by taking sugar & simple carbs out of the diet. Pasta, bread, soda, french fries. These foods can cause erratic behaviors in preteens. Some problem though, like kids getting in fights are just kids being kids.
i guarantee you half of these problem could be fixed by taking sugar & simple carbs out of the diet. Pasta, bread, soda, french fries. These foods can cause erratic behaviors in preteens. Some problem though, like kids getting in fights are just kids being kids.
reply posted on 15-1-2011 @ 04:40 PM by Phantom28804
reply to post by aero56
I know when I was in school there was always those that stayed in trouble, but mostly students behaved. I feel a lot of what is happening with the youth today is coming from there upbringing. I know that a lot of what happens is blamed on the movies, television, and games. Partly I agree with this as they are definitely more readily available then in the past. I also think that parents are beginning to use this as a cop out when it comes to raising there kids. They see the MSM talking about how its due to movies, games, and tv and they use it as an excuse for there own lack of parenting.
The differences I see are simple. When I was growing up there were still violent games, movies, tv, and even comic books. The difference was that I was taught from day one that this was fantasy and not real. That you can't go rob a bank or convenience store just because your niece, cousin, or sibling needs money for college. You can't just run people over with a car just because they do it in GTA. I mean honestly common sense comes in heavily. The only thing with movies and violence that has changed really is the details and effects. I remember watching movies like Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm street, Lethal Weapon etc and I didn't become immune to violence or think it was ok. I read the Punisher and never thought it was ok to be a Vigilante.
Society in general is a bit to blame for this as well. The amount of Social Awareness that has heightened in recent years is a big contributor. While it's ok to notice your neighbors and become aware that we are a society and not a individual. That's great!!! There are limits however. Telling your neighbor what they can and can't do, Watching everything your neighbor does, and trying to influence the way your neighbor lives there lives. Some great examples of this that affect the youth today.
1. Corporal punishment - There is a distinct difference between beating your kid as in punching and kicking your kid into submission, and spanking them when they do something wrong. Whoever started the whole, "OMG don't ever hit your child that isn't a way to teach them anything it is just cruel and inhumane", Bull# should have been spanked instead of listened to. Kids nowadays know they can get away with anything and you aren't gonna do anything. What ground them? Oooh yea let me ground my child to a room with his Xbox, cell phone, and everything else he could ever want. This isn't a punishment this is a vacation. Kids are well aware of the laws and they will literally use it against you now. I have heard kids at the local store threaten to call Social Services if there mom laid a finger on them.
2. Sex Ed - Why is it so bad for your children to learn about sex? Just because you teach them about sex doesn't mean they are gonna go out and indulge. Not teaching them about sex is one thing that will lead to more sex. It is genetically ingrained into human beings to be sexual and curious about sex. The need to reproduce is something that written in our DNA not something that is caused by knowing about it. The first time kids were kept in the dark about anything to do with sex they were having abortions in people's backrooms just to hide it from there parents. Things were opened up a bit more and sex went to an all time high. So they started sex ed. Well instead of keeping with Sex ed the people that know best decided that it was not ok to teach them about sex or provide them with birth control. It was better to just ignore it and hope it goes away. Honestly if you are a parent ask yourself. Would you rather them learn about this from his/her best friend or from you.
3. Communication - Guess what talking to your kids might be uncomfortable and even embarrassing at times. You may not want to hear some of the things they have to say but that doesn't mean it's better to just leave things as is. If you don't talk to your kids about the show they watched on tv, the dead relative or dead pet, or whatever is going on in the world. If you give your kid a rifle for his birthday but don't teach him how to shoot it just might be a bad idea. If you find your daughter or son making out with there girlfriend/boyfriend it just might be a good idea to talk to them about sex. If you don't talk to them about tolerance of others there is a good chance they might just think it's ok to make fun or worse at others that are different.
All in all it's common sense. I really do feel for the OP and people who deal with our children on a day to day basis. I mean the kids are quite literally not alright as one of my favorite songs by the Offspring says. There are a lot of hard life lessons that need to be taught. When my father died I had to explain to my daughter how sorry hun grandpa won't be back. She was very understandably upset, but after we talked she copes with things a lot better. I don't even want to think about what kind of Emo, depressed person she might have become if I hadn't talked to her about it and helped her to understand why these things happen. This is just my opinion but if I punish her I take away her cell phone, her luxuries etc. I want her to know it's a punishment not a vacation from the parents.
I know when I was in school there was always those that stayed in trouble, but mostly students behaved. I feel a lot of what is happening with the youth today is coming from there upbringing. I know that a lot of what happens is blamed on the movies, television, and games. Partly I agree with this as they are definitely more readily available then in the past. I also think that parents are beginning to use this as a cop out when it comes to raising there kids. They see the MSM talking about how its due to movies, games, and tv and they use it as an excuse for there own lack of parenting.
The differences I see are simple. When I was growing up there were still violent games, movies, tv, and even comic books. The difference was that I was taught from day one that this was fantasy and not real. That you can't go rob a bank or convenience store just because your niece, cousin, or sibling needs money for college. You can't just run people over with a car just because they do it in GTA. I mean honestly common sense comes in heavily. The only thing with movies and violence that has changed really is the details and effects. I remember watching movies like Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm street, Lethal Weapon etc and I didn't become immune to violence or think it was ok. I read the Punisher and never thought it was ok to be a Vigilante.
Society in general is a bit to blame for this as well. The amount of Social Awareness that has heightened in recent years is a big contributor. While it's ok to notice your neighbors and become aware that we are a society and not a individual. That's great!!! There are limits however. Telling your neighbor what they can and can't do, Watching everything your neighbor does, and trying to influence the way your neighbor lives there lives. Some great examples of this that affect the youth today.
1. Corporal punishment - There is a distinct difference between beating your kid as in punching and kicking your kid into submission, and spanking them when they do something wrong. Whoever started the whole, "OMG don't ever hit your child that isn't a way to teach them anything it is just cruel and inhumane", Bull# should have been spanked instead of listened to. Kids nowadays know they can get away with anything and you aren't gonna do anything. What ground them? Oooh yea let me ground my child to a room with his Xbox, cell phone, and everything else he could ever want. This isn't a punishment this is a vacation. Kids are well aware of the laws and they will literally use it against you now. I have heard kids at the local store threaten to call Social Services if there mom laid a finger on them.
2. Sex Ed - Why is it so bad for your children to learn about sex? Just because you teach them about sex doesn't mean they are gonna go out and indulge. Not teaching them about sex is one thing that will lead to more sex. It is genetically ingrained into human beings to be sexual and curious about sex. The need to reproduce is something that written in our DNA not something that is caused by knowing about it. The first time kids were kept in the dark about anything to do with sex they were having abortions in people's backrooms just to hide it from there parents. Things were opened up a bit more and sex went to an all time high. So they started sex ed. Well instead of keeping with Sex ed the people that know best decided that it was not ok to teach them about sex or provide them with birth control. It was better to just ignore it and hope it goes away. Honestly if you are a parent ask yourself. Would you rather them learn about this from his/her best friend or from you.
3. Communication - Guess what talking to your kids might be uncomfortable and even embarrassing at times. You may not want to hear some of the things they have to say but that doesn't mean it's better to just leave things as is. If you don't talk to your kids about the show they watched on tv, the dead relative or dead pet, or whatever is going on in the world. If you give your kid a rifle for his birthday but don't teach him how to shoot it just might be a bad idea. If you find your daughter or son making out with there girlfriend/boyfriend it just might be a good idea to talk to them about sex. If you don't talk to them about tolerance of others there is a good chance they might just think it's ok to make fun or worse at others that are different.
All in all it's common sense. I really do feel for the OP and people who deal with our children on a day to day basis. I mean the kids are quite literally not alright as one of my favorite songs by the Offspring says. There are a lot of hard life lessons that need to be taught. When my father died I had to explain to my daughter how sorry hun grandpa won't be back. She was very understandably upset, but after we talked she copes with things a lot better. I don't even want to think about what kind of Emo, depressed person she might have become if I hadn't talked to her about it and helped her to understand why these things happen. This is just my opinion but if I punish her I take away her cell phone, her luxuries etc. I want her to know it's a punishment not a vacation from the parents.
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