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Funny ATS Quotes and The things that make you go hmmm!

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posted on Apr, 11 2011 @ 02:30 PM

Originally posted by FortAnthem

Here's a great one:

Originally posted by SaturnFX

Originally posted by colbyforce
reply to post by SaturnFX

Chicks and their romantic crap. I hope ufos show up like people think they might. That would make me watch.


I am about as man as you can get. got the back hair to prove it

How often do you hear about folks using their back hair as evidence in a thread?

edit on 4/11/11 by FortAnthem because: ETA: It came from thsi thread:

I need links!!!!! Proof of back hair or it didn't happen!

I love this thread.....

posted on Apr, 17 2011 @ 08:29 AM
The user shall remain anonymous:

You claim we are all going to die. What proof do you have of this? Prove to me that we all will die.

posted on Apr, 17 2011 @ 08:58 AM
reply to post by Whateva69

All night, for 15 minutes!!! LOL

That is great!

posted on Apr, 17 2011 @ 05:51 PM
This little thread is growing nicely.

Versa was on a good roll there for a bit, I knew there wouldn’t be many quotes added straight away, but the ones that have been, have me in stitches.

Thanks for the laugh guys x x x

posted on Apr, 18 2011 @ 06:05 PM
reply to post by Misoir

I seen that thread yesterday
in the dreams and predictions, but you should of used the one that said, Yes, we will all die at one point in our lives.

posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 08:41 PM

Originally posted by Allis1

If that's the case, the world ended about a million times already, is ending in 2012, the crust of the earth is breaking free from the core and will spin independently from the planet, the sun and moon are out of their orbits and hurtling away from us, every star, plane, bird, flare in the sky is an Alien controlled UFO, magic is real, aliens live at area 51 with elvis, H.A.A.R.P. is beaming gay thoughts into your head, and Reptilian shape shifting alien vampires occupy all government positions of power.

My personal favorite, I've never laughed so hard than I did at that HAARP line

I could just imagine someone in denial of their sexuality trying to blame it on an external force

edit on 23-2-2011 by Allis1 because: personal interpretation

Lol. Yeaaaahhh... I bet its a vivid picture
edit on 29-4-2011 by DunkdaMonk because: popped my cherry, came back to clean up

posted on May, 18 2011 @ 07:01 AM

Originally posted by XXXN3O
reply to post by Whateva69

The funniest thread and opening post I have come across since joining ATS has to be this one here...

Hello people, I have decided to post you some information on something that is, at this present moment in time, terrifying me.

Over the last few months I have noticed a large increase in the amount of Squirrels we have around our estate. Now, I know what you might be doing and please, bear with me here. Since December last year the Squirrel population seems to have increased ten fold. I know that they are cute and, at the beginning, it was quite good to see all of these little guys running around. Now it is not good. I, and a couple of other people have noticed that they are getting a bit, um, violent. You know, moree aggressive than they ought to be. We're all running a bit scared around here and the local council has said it will be dealt with, but they aren't actually doing anything and they won't unless the problem spreads inside our homes. Incidentally one of my neighbours had some nesting in their loft, but of course after that was dealt with (a week and a half later after she called) nothing else was done for the rest of us,

We're wondering about taking the matter into our own hands but I'm the only one with something against that: I don't think I could handle hurting something so small and fluffy. I mean I'm over six foot tall but still, there are gentle giants.

Does anyone have anything that they would like to share, you know, to help out with this problem? I will take any comments on board.

Ramadwarf on terror

Infestation Thread AKA Evil Squirrel's

I had a right belly laugh reading through the posts etc.

edit on 24-3-2011 by XXXN3O because: (no reason given)

I post a nice squirrel foto..who needs nuts..

edit on 18-5-2011 by anti72 because: (no reason given)

posted on Jun, 23 2011 @ 03:33 PM
Been away for a while and will be again for a while but having just stumbled upon this beauty I had to post it here for prosperity

Originally posted by Snippy23

To be on the safe side, I think I'll just rule out having sex with shrimp from any time or dimension.

Thanks for the advice.

bet he never thought he'd be saying that!

edit on 23/6/11 by Versa because: (no reason given)

posted on Jun, 24 2011 @ 05:09 AM
Got another one to add from today, posted by the member "dilapidated"...

we need to start being open to recycled water.
fact is that all water is recycled, water you drink today could have been shat out by a dinosaur millions of years ago..

Link to thread

This made me laugh

edit on 24-6-2011 by XXXN3O because: (no reason given)

posted on Jul, 4 2011 @ 11:51 AM
I have to post so I can come back to this, as I see sooooo much funny stuff on ATS and I just posted in another thread how much this site makes me laugh at times.

One that sticks out right now, wasn't a comment, it was a whole thread.

I think we've all seen it.

I am a scientist.

posted on Jul, 12 2011 @ 10:16 AM
Heres another one from today posted by "madda501" in the thread called "Window of opportunity"...

I know who you are Hidden hand,so please stop to persecute humans,stop to wash our brains..........I'm back and you know this very well.Better said we are back.It's not only a question of bloodline,it's a question of positive energy,

I cracked at the "Stop to wash our brains"

Window of opportunity thread

edit on 12-7-2011 by XXXN3O because: (no reason given)

posted on Jul, 22 2011 @ 03:21 AM

we are still in midevil times as far as mentality goes

yes.... well clearly some of us are....

posted on Aug, 10 2011 @ 04:44 PM
Best thread title I've seen in a while.....

Are Bats Plotting Against Mankind?

To be fair the whole thread is funny.... I'm guessing that after the squirrel conspiracy the bats are attempting a bit of 'one upmanship'

posted on Aug, 10 2011 @ 05:07 PM

Originally posted by Misoir
The user shall remain anonymous:

You claim we are all going to die. What proof do you have of this? Prove to me that we all will die.

Hey, that's cheatin right there.

I could fill up this thread 100 times over with the crazy and stupid stuff I post if I wanted to...

Originally posted by FortAnthem

You see, I was almost sold on this whole masonry thingy until I heard this part.

If the Freemason's aren't going to equip me with the skills to carve giant phallic symbols out of stone then I don't want to have anything to do with the order.
edit on 8/10/11 by FortAnthem because:

posted on Aug, 11 2011 @ 06:27 PM
reply to post by FortAnthem

lol well Im not coming clean with any of mine just yet!!!!

posted on Aug, 12 2011 @ 02:21 AM
Lysergics post to the girl looking for love on BTS

Pics already so we can decide if you are date-able or Net Beast.

posted on Aug, 13 2011 @ 05:16 PM

Originally posted by OzWeatherman
Lysergics post to the girl looking for love on BTS

Pics already so we can decide if you are date-able or Net Beast.

Man that had me rolling when I saw that. The word Net Beast is forever etched into my brain. That's actually why I came back to this thread, but you beat me to it Oz. I haven't laughed so hard over something I read on the internet in a long time.

posted on Aug, 14 2011 @ 11:33 PM

Haven't seen this one here, I can't read it without laughing so I thought I would share.

posted on Aug, 15 2011 @ 01:23 AM
reply to post by Versa

Holy crap, I just spit my coffee all over the keyboard!

Not really though.

posted on Aug, 18 2011 @ 05:58 PM

Originally posted by loves a conspiricy
Bananna......Should the help vintage the second grass? A passionate vain runs a parallel champagne.

Thats what your post is saying to me....i dont understand what you are on about.

EDIT: Whoever flagged to translate as you clearly understand what the OP is saying

brilliant post on a very bizarre thread!

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