reply to post by queenofsheba
As a sufferer of PTSD, this is very well written, and I am sorry that you have also had to deal with it in your own way.
reply to post by ladyinwaiting
To kind of shed some light on this from my experiences...
It isn't that people are unworthy of love. It's that we feel numb.
One day we can feel that love for our significant others and the next we feel absolutely nothing. That numbness, that loss of connection, makes us
hate ourselves. Every attempt to find that connection again and to dig up those feelings just makes us more frustrated with ourselves until we reach
the point of only expressing anger.
It becomes a cycle we can't break out of and we end up leaving because we are just trying to stop hurting the people around us. We care, so deeply,
we just can't feel it like we used to.
Spending the night sleeping in the bath tub with your .45, waking up screaming every 45 minutes, having flashbacks that you try to chase away with
alcohol and other vices, we just feel broken and incapable.
So please understand that it is not your failings or his change of heart. From my experience it is just the emotional toll all that damage takes.