What Would Be Different If Men Really Ruled the World

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.

Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."

Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again" cards.

When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.

Birth control would come in ale or lager.

Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.

The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.

Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.

Tanks would be far easier to rent.

Garbage would take itself out.

Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."

Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife- to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"

Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day, too.

St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.

Cops would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops. Or to the crooks.

The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.

The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.

It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.

Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.

When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in: Cop: "You know how fast you were going" You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place." Cop: "Nice one. That's $10 off."

People would never talk about how fresh they felt.

Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

reply to post by alysha.angel


What Would Be Different If Men Really Ruled the World,?

EVERYTHING.

LOL

VVV

This was quite entertaining!
Let's see what the guys come up with themselves.

reply to post by alysha.angel


The four food groups would be beer, bacon, pizza, and beer.

~Heff

reply to post by alysha.angel


Hahahahaha.....

That's cute how you imply men aren't in charge of the world. (We are, by the way)

Funny post, I lold.

What would be different if women ruled the world..

Chocolate would be available on prescription

The worlds first invention would have been the Hand Bag closely follow by high heels (fire and the wheel can wait)

Live web cams would be installed inside football locker rooms and the game would now consist of a ten minute match followed by a 2 hour long shower

Manchester changes its name to Womanchester and History to Herstory

The White House becomes the Pink House

Men slowly evolve to have six sets of ears so they can be more effective at pretending to listen

Once a month the whole business world would stop for a week while everyone sat at home hugging hot water bottles and eating ice cream

Any woman who has the misfortune to be born blonde thin pretty and intelligent would immediately be moved into an internment camp so as not to raise mens expectations too high

Adult movies would now consist of 4 hours of conversation followed by a "nice cuddle"

Oprah becomes president instead of Obama

Originally posted by knylon90
reply to post by alysha.angel

 

Hahahahaha.....

That's cute how you imply men aren't in charge of the world. (We are, by the way)

Oh, my poor deluded friend. I hate to break this to you. Women rule the world. Need proof?
1) How many times has your wife/gf what ever turned of the tv just as the final seconds were ticking away because she needed to "talk"
2) How much expensive jewelry does you wife/gf buy you?
3) a woman's best friend is a diamond, what did we get?
4) Women get valentines day, where is our "can we just do it and go to sleep" day?
The list goes on and on. It is just a polite fiction that they maintain; that we men rule the world. They know our fragile egos cannot handle the truth.

Most important proof? Women have at least half the money and all the p(well you know)

Disclaimer: No insult intended to our female rulers, it is all in good fun.

reply to post by davespanners


nice comment i loled big time ... lmao

Cars would be equipped with machine guns:

Also remote control licences would be created!
Any female found guilty of changing the channel when a live football match was being aired would have theirs revoked for no less than two years!

And there would be a clause in Hugh Grant's contract, to include in all future films a combination of at least one car chase/explosion and gun fight!

Originally posted by knylon90
reply to post by alysha.angel

 

Hahahahaha.....

That's cute how you imply men aren't in charge of the world. (We are, by the way)

Funny post, I lold.

edit on 11-1-2011 by knylon90 because: (no reason given)

Yep that gos far, I told my wife on time that I was the head of the house hold then she told me she was the neck that turns the head, oh how true.

We already rule the world and we doin a pretty darn good job if yous ask me

Originally posted by Hefficide
reply to post by alysha.angel

 

The four food groups would be beer, bacon, pizza, and beer.

~Heff

That would only be four You can't count beer twice lol Oh I see, there are varying levels of beer where you can have it as two...I see..Morning beer and Night beer?


HAHA Alysha this is hilarious!

reply to post by mblahnikluver


Thngs that would be different if Mblah ruled the world.

Penguins would be armed

Mblah promoted to Super uber ultra most amazing unquestioned moderator of ATS

Pole dancing would be an Olympic event (as well it should be)

Christmas replaced with Blahmass

Free Shoes!

All of these things should happen anyway!