Great quotes... funny

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posted on Jul, 8 2004 @ 08:49 PM
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Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out.
But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.
Great Quotes by Great Ladies!
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Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened.-Cora Harvey Armstrong-
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The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy....
-Helen Hayes (at 73)-
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I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
-Janette Barber-
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin-
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A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
-Carrie Snow-
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Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
-Laurie Kuslansky-
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck-
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Old age ain't no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis-
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A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
-Rhonda Hansome-
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The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
-Jane Sellman-
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Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited-
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Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
-Charlotte Whitton-
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Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen-
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I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-
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If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
-Catherine-
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When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
-Kathy Buckley-
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I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb . and I'm also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-
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If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-
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I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-
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When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
-Elayne Boosler-





 
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