Ascension...wow, what a topic. There's more going on here on Gaia than meets the eye.
I am so happy to see so many talking about this. Finally.
I, too, have been going through this process. The 'dark night of the soul' and myself are 'old friends.'
It began in earnest for me about six years ago, although the playing field was set through many occurrences earlier in my life. It began with 11:11,
progressed through me studying the astrological sciences and understanding my own karmic path (while learning that nothing is set in stone), the field
broadened as I delved deeper into esoteric studies of various cultures.
Around the time right before the winter solstice 2010, I felt things had come to a tipping point. Something had to give. I had filled myself with such
knowledge, yet knew that I still was looking for something that wasn't there...a 'teacher,' a program, a set way of doing things to get me to the
level I felt I needed to be on. Then after much introspection, meditation, letting loose in creative outlets, I realized something, I realized exactly
what had been holding me back: once again, I was searching outside of myself for something that I needed to search within myself to find. I discovered
I was my own teacher, my own shaman. Since I have embraced this, most (if not all-I want to wait a little longer before making that declaration, tho)
of the uncomfortable aspects of ascension have slowly dissipated. This is just a small part of the whole process, but for instance, I've battled food
as an addiction since childhood, bouncing between anorexia and obesity numerous times, the obsessive-compulsive thinking that goes along with an
addiction was torment. I knew what I wanted to be, but a part of me didn't seem to want to be that...I couldn't let go of the old karmic
restrictions I had placed on myself -- until now. It isn't even a thought now, as far as fighting the food cravings. I am drawn exclusively to the
best food choices presented to me, sugary foods nauseate me immediately now. I have been drawn to a mostly vegetarian diet, but with a few meats in
there. And I firmly believe that a healthy, energy-based & aware diet is essential to progressing to your utmost abilities.
The one main difference since the solstice? I actually feel WHOLE. I don't remember a time or place in my life that I have been at previously where I
could have actually, honestly, made that statement. I have embraced my gifts, my spirituality, my responsiblity to the rest of the sentient beings on
this planet & those that interplay between dimensions, and my life is improving thousandfold because of it.
So I guess what I am trying to say here is this: Trust yourself. Listen. All of the answers you are looking for are found within...you just have to
learn to be quiet enough to hear them.