Originally posted by mblahnikluver

Originally posted by Condemned0625

I flew across the Atlantic to see him!

I once did the same thing, although in my case I was going to see a girl.

When I got back home she ended things. I wasn't told in person, face to face.

I read your first post, when you were all happy and excited. I saw in that post a lot of the feelings and emotions I had had at the time. Call me cynical but I felt that it might end up not working out for you in the end. I was going to post a comment, but refrained from doing so, as I imagined it would sound harsh and I would get blasted by other ATS members.

The best advice I can give you is to give this guy some space. It will be incredibly difficult, but it's one of the best things to do. Although it's hard to acknowledge, you should be prepared to face the possibility that you will lose touch with him and then no longer speak with him. That's not to say what happened with me will happen with you.

The fact I'm telling you this, is because I can relate, although my circumstances were slightly different. It's something incredibly personal to me and it's not something I generally talk about, in fact only a small handfull of people know about it.

I felt the same way you feel now.

It might not ever truly go away, but it gets easier.

Originally posted by _BoneZ_

Originally posted by 0898jools
...and I am replying, as I am quite within my rights to do. Unfortunately I DO find this poster's comments a bit disturbing; at the very least I feel that they might require some kind of therapy.

You do have the right to reply and give your opinion. However, you do not have the right to attack someone as you just did. Your negative demeanor and comments aren't welcome, nor appreciated.

Never been in love, have you jools? I would expect such an awful comment to come from someone who has never truly been in love, and lost that person.

Mblah, I know exactly what you're going through as I've been going through something similar for quite a while now. if you need to chat, send me a u2u.

Mblah, I'm so sorry to see this... How are you doing today? Thinking of you. Hugs...

Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic
Mblah, I'm so sorry to see this... How are you doing today? Thinking of you. Hugs...

Thanks.....
I'm numb and comatose which is good.

We have talked and I can tell he is just scared of what he really feels and it's easier to run than deal with it esp when that person isnt there. I get it...I am giving him his time. He knows I'm here for him. That is what you do in love, you stand by them.

I too just came back to see how you are feeling.

Hang in there

Sorry to hear about this =[ Even though we dont get along, I feel like crap this happened to you. You really cared about this guy and I was NOT expecting this to happen. God.

he will only hurt me in the end and I will only resent him later on and hate him.

And yet isn't this the net result of his actions?

He seems to have self-fulfilled his own prophecy....

Sounds like this gentleman has commitment issues. Are we getting all of the story here? Can you think of anything he may have construed as pressure to increase the commitment level of the relationship?

Bottom line, if you still feel there is something there, and you want it, fight for it...don't let him just coward out...make him discuss it with you like a man.

Originally posted by Gazrok

he will only hurt me in the end and I will only resent him later on and hate him.

And yet isn't this the net result of his actions?

He seems to have self-fulfilled his own prophecy....

Sounds like this gentleman has commitment issues. Are we getting all of the story here? Can you think of anything he may have construed as pressure to increase the commitment level of the relationship?

Bottom line, if you still feel there is something there, and you want it, fight for it...don't let him just coward out...make him discuss it with you like a man.

He has fulfilled his own prophecy which he needs to stop doing and face his fears and not run.

He does have commitment issues and I always knew it, I just loved him anyway. He is the one who brought up marriage and a family and me moving, not me. HE brought these things up before I ever said anything. We talked about marriage and adopting kids, since neither of us can have our own. We said we would have one of each and we even talked about the names we wanted..

I know him better than he realizes but I think in a way he knows it and it scares him to admit it. He is so use to just closing himself off and running away that its easier for him, well this time he isn't getting away that easily, not even with the Atlantic and Europe between us. I told him when he asked me if I could do this and if I really wanted to be with him while he was away that nothing would keep me from him. It's just flying I dont like and well I did it for him so that says something. I NEVER fly, hate it, scares the crap out of me but now it's not so bad because he is on the other end. Makes it worth it.

He is being a coward, yes and I still love him because I understand him and what he is doing. I can tell in his voice and what he doesn't say how he really feels.

We had our talks while I was there and he told me I had nothing to fear or worry about. He would make comments about when he was done and where he would go and I could go with him. It was all things he wanted and I wanted..then he just gets freaked and runs.....and I still can't hate him.

I wont say much as I think my words would mean nothing, so I would like to wish you the best! I know that things will work out. My life differs from most, so my advice may go unnoticed. Love and peace.

NRE.

One must accept the bad times, the confusions they can bring and the lows they can take you to.

They are all natural.

Without them, how would we enjoy the good times, the clarity they can bring and the highs they can take us to.

Why do you think those who appear to have it all often end up the saddest when things go wrong for them? No point of reality or anything to provide a contrasting reference.

Ying Yang.

I speak from strong past experiences but have now taken to being more of an observer of personal relationships in the world around me.

Celibate for 8 years now. Clarity is easier without involvement.

So sorry your in grief. It hurts so much. I think the death of a dream is the worst pain. You didn't just lose him you lost a future too.