lost in emotion :(

Originally posted by 0898jools
...and I am replying, as I am quite within my rights to do. Unfortunately I DO find this poster's comments a bit disturbing; at the very least I feel that they might require some kind of therapy.

You do have the right to reply and give your opinion. However, you do not have the right to attack someone as you just did. Your negative demeanor and comments aren't welcome, nor appreciated.

reply to post by _BoneZ_


Hang on right there...to suggest someone might benefit from therapy is NOT an attack! How dare you!

I hear ya gal!

Been there, done that.

I had a long term relationship which ended after more than 10years. I was a wreck to begin with but I got over it sooner than I thought I would.

I have been single now for 2 years, and now I wouldn't have it any other way.

In those 2 years I haven't - cried, argued, fought, been heartbroken, felt sad, been hurt, left abandoned, woken by loud snoring, etc.

In those 2 years I have - laughed, learned to appreciate my family more, become independant, confident, content, undisturbed sleep, etc.

I don't hate men, I have plenty of male friends and get asked out often, but I prefer to not have a romantic relationship with anyone.

Hope you and your man manage to get through this situation, it will happen if you two were meant to be together

*delete*

Aw, I'm sorry to hear of this.

Maybe I'll make a thread on my own tales o'woe later, might take your mind off stuff.

In case I forget - my problem is that I do not know where I could meet the sort of guy I am looking for. Not such a big deal. What is a worse deal is - I am kind of jaded and don't feel like trying - but that's no biggie - what is even WORSE is that - part of my apathy is - I just don't really feel well. I am worried that I might have MS or Lupus or something. Erg.

But - I am trying to 'get in shape'. Weird, doing this not for looks - but to 'feel better' (I was really sick last year and nearly died. I am hoping I am still just 'run down' from that.)

And, I try to look at the bright side - I've made lots of new friends at the liquor store

PS - my last BF dumped me for a junkie! Because he liked her clothes! Oy Vey! Beyond "looks" even - tossed over for a junkie because she had a better "goth" look going.

Yeah. My friend Marilyn, may she rest in peace, she said that I have moron magnets in my pockets. I think she was right.

Oh well. The security boss at the liquor store always greets me with a smile. I can't tell if he's "eyeballing" me - or - just thinks I'm a potential shoplifter.

Life is just such a wonderful bowl of cherries, isn't it?

I hope you will feel better

reply to post by _BoneZ_


Hardly conducive to good relationship advice.

Why would you *delete* ? I thought this was supposed to be a forum.

reply to post by RustyShakleford92



Nothing he did bugged me....which is why he was so damn perfect in my eyes. Literally nothing. I found it odd.

Originally posted by Lysergic
So uhh hey... whats up?

*wink*

still stands. lol

reply to post by mblahnikluver


Sometimes you just have to leave them alone, cry it out, write it all down (and throw it away) and go on. Sorry I took the piss

reply to post by mblahnikluver



You know I seen you on this site once in a while, and from what I read of your posts. I think your one of those people who have the habit of putting to much pressure on yourself, and thereby putting pressure on others. And what I'm talking about is the unseen type of pressures that dig at you, like a freaking flea in your skin. Most basically is expectations that go unsaid, and will dig in your skin.

We have talked since all this started yesterday and he knows I am here for him and he can have time if need be. I believe in him and I have faith in him, even when doesn't have it for himself. He is closed off to an extent and I see it, but I love him anyway.

f # that s #, everybody and there grandma and grandpa and there little dog, has had problems and has problems. What you need to do is straight out tell him, if your really serious about this dude...That your serious about your relationships, and he needs to get his # in order. And that if he is serious either get with the program with all the troubles that it would entail, and freaking quit messing around..... After all there are plenty of other dudes out there. Wtf kind of # is that, if he was going to say as you say he said....then he should of said it to your face when you saw him, not after the fact.

We have a great relationship and this is just a bump in the road. I want to hate him but I can't he did nothing wrong.

You bet he did something wrong, he is messing with you, because of something you believe is wrong or he believes is wrong. You see this is why it's better to be less emotional about things, even robot like...To much mooshy emotional stuff will just drag you down.

The only thing I can do is let him know I am here.

While you do that let him also know that you wont be waiting around forever.

I just dont get it.....there was nothing there for me to feel this would happen.

If it happened then there was definitely something there that you are missing. Just don't bother yourself to much over it, because there is always something that we don't see and wont see. # this dude is freaking lucky from what I gathered...I mean how many females would sell there dam car, just to get a plane ticket to go were there at to see you and work out something.

Most wont even go a block over to see whats up, because it's to far.... All I can say is WTF, he needs to get his # in order.... And also you should get a turtle, turtles are good luck.

So very sorry to hear this.

I remember reading your thread when he went away and I was happy for you when I found out that you'd had some time together recently.

Honestly, I think you are making far to many excuses for him, he's behaved appallingly and I don't think you deserved it.

Whatever his real reasons - and I doubt he's been entirely honest, whether to spare your feelings or to try and save himself from any grief you might want to give him - he should have told you face to face.

To wait until you came home was gutless. Is he saying that he's worried about being hurt sometime down the road? After he's prepared to hurt you like this in the here and now? Words fail me.....

Talk about twisting the knife. He must have realised how happy you'd be after your time together. If he had doubts he shouldn't have let you visit him. Or if the doubts surfaced while you were there he owed it to you to talk things over instead of carrying on as if nothing was wrong.

I don't like to be cynical, but I wonder why he'd do that?

Please, do realise that you are worth more than this man has the capacity to appreciate.

If he had done the right thing although you would be hurt, you wouldn't be hurting as badly as you are. Let that one thing help to open your eyes to see him more clearly.

I hope next time you post you will be feeling less of what you were suffering, but you might be in for the long haul. Stay strong and be true to yourself.

Look, I know your upset. I have been there and done that. You need to realize that this is YOUR life and a very short one at that. Focus on YOU and enjoy your life. Go see the world and have fun. It's nice to have someone there but if you are butting heads, it's only taking the life right out of you. I'm not trying to be negative but why would a guy break up with a woman he truely loves and care for? He wouldn't want to lose her.. Guys blame things on themselves as an easy way out of it, they don't want to tell the truth. I could be wrong though. Don't push him or you will scare him away. If he truely loves you, he will come back. Give him time to gather his thoughts.

What's the old saying? Something about setting the bird free and if it returns then it is yours. Let him go, maybe he just isn't ready. Maybe he is yours and needs time. Maybe he isn't and will never return. Either way, the only way you will really know is to completely release him and see what he chooses down the road. I know people who have been in love but for various reasons they left the relationship. Only later to meet by pure chance and admit they never forgot the other person and end up happily married. Even after they had married other's and lost them to divorce or they past over.

After reading your replies to everyone's responses I would say not only is HE not ready for a relationship, neither are you. This is not an insult, but an observation. When you truly understand love, then their confession of not being able to be involved with you, you can let them go with ease. Love is allowing another person to trust them enough to allow them to do what they need to do. He obviously is aware that he needs to get through somethings before, he is going to involve another person. Love him enough to let him go and love yourself enough to know when it's right, nothing can come between you and the right man.

I would sincerely suggest that you begin to learn about OCD (Obsessive control disorder). You are far too willing to make any sacrifice to have someone in your life. Even being put through the mill while they stand up and tell you they can not be with you. You can not sell someone else on being in the relationship. You are trying to control the situation. There in itself is a sign of OCD that I see in your words. It comes in many levels and the American people have the highest number for this disorder above every other nation. 95% of American's suffer on some level.

The most painful words a person can hear is often the truth. Everyone that wants to stroke your pain and encourage your self infliction of vicitimization only helps you remain in this state of mind.

I wish you the best and honestly, I am not trying to degrade you. I am merely speaking the truth of something that I learned along the way.

Mblah, I am sorry for your current troubles. While I know nothing of substance about your BF and am out of line to comment, I can only say that a relationship over a distance is challenging. Perhaps he is feeling a burden that he does not understand or that is not really there.

In any case, I wish you the bestand the strength to be patient and loving.

Best of luck.

Hey Blah Blah, I told you he was a swabbie, that was his key problem!!
Anyhow, just keep your head up, youre beautiful, intelligent caring and have a great personality, the right one will sneak in and goose you before you know it


Hey Lysergic: BACK OFF, SHE'S MINE!!! lol

your a beautiful young lady, single and free and strong and independent, if he can't see that being in your presence then he is blind. Considering he basically said in more ways then one, he does not know who he is, and is confused and lives his life in fear, I suggest you work on doing better considering any woman can do better then being with a man that does not know who he is. With that being said, I would suggest determining who your friends are for starters, the real ones, and be careful and cautious who you let into your mind and heart, considering this website is being viewed and seen by millions and your putting you business out for all kinda unwanted and wanted street side psychology you need to be very careful of wacko nut jobs and whatever other type of predatorial weirdo you can imagine coming around you at a time of need. Relationships that fail are part of growing up, I can surmise your pain, I have been there and I have and am dealing with worse. You will get thru it, even if you don't think you will, do you best to stay away from people who want to medicate you, and do your best to keep busy and constantly look in the mirror and see the beauty. On a lighter side being on the rebound is not all that bad.

Originally posted by Sandypie
the only way you will really know is to completely release him and see what he chooses down the road.

Love is allowing another person to trust them enough to allow them to do what they need to do.

Love him enough to let him go and love yourself enough to know when it's right, nothing can come between you and the right man.

...thats the best advice, sandy, and so much nicer sounding than the old standard "he's just not THAT into you", which very well may be the case... afterall, we've only heard one side of the story...

...about ocd - you might have a point there because some of her comments were a bit over the top - but - just about everyone does that now and then, especially when they're over-wrought or nursing the pity pot... thats normal enough...

...i think it is very common to fall in love with the idea of being in love, which makes you blind to how the object of your affection really perceives you and the relationship...

...having witnessed someone i love go through that multiple times, there is really no point in trying to get them to understand what they're doing... best you can do is plant the seed once and leave it alone... eventually a light bulb will go off and they'll get it but that doesnt mean they'll be able to stop the behavior and thats where ocd could come into play...

...on a personal preference note, if i was in a relationship with someone and they posted photos of us or details of our relationship online FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE without my permission, i'd drop em like a hot rock because that would tell me they have no respect for my privacy, which means they dont respect me, which means they're history...

...it could be that mb had this guy's permission to post their photo and post about their relationship... many of the youngers dont have issues with that kind of stuff - but - some probably do and if she didnt ask him if it was okay, that might be an issue...

...to mb - to add to sandy's old adage about letting the bird fly free - heres another... sometimes when a door shuts, a better one opens but you'll never see it if you're focused on the shut door...

...good luck...