Good Women Changed. There NOT Gone!

This is NO way is a thread to either follow up, or even excuse women, as we do not need it. I just wanted to explain a huge misconception concerning women. Women are not the problem. With that said neither are men. Our society treats us different from birth. Many of us remember our first loves. Our first heartbreaks. But what made us think that we were in love in the first place?

Was it love songs? A movie? A t.v show? Most of us grew up thinking that we have had love, and romance, and have had our hearts broken based on the standards that we watched as opposed to what each other was feeling. As we get older we learn different lessons, based on what we know or remember. People haven't changed, we have always been the same, our perceptions have changed through generations.

Since we were so overwhelmed with different scenarios on what men and women were supposed to be, our bodies and minds began to separate, and to catch up we began to change our bodies to conform to what the "other" is supposed to look like. The harder we tried the further away we were to each others feelings.

Love is out there, companionship, is out there. I am sure that many women are upset to what we have seen about women on some of these threads. And men dont understand why some are upset. If you go to a club, and meet someone your expectation cannot be to find the man of your dreams, and you cant be upset with a women for excepting free drinks, and not going home with you.

We know that some women act this way, but are they doing it because a magazine told them too? We know some men act that way, is it because a music video, or t.v show told you too? Look at t.v, does no one see it as odd that almost all shows have and obese, balding husband, and their wives wear a size 4. When has anyone saw that???

Its not news worthy that men like sports, and its not a surprise that women like to talk, so why do we act as if it is? The difference now is that we actually know what each other wants, we choose to ignore it. If you walked up to a women (not a girl), and told her that you want something real, and expect the same from her, yeah, you might see some jaws drop, but your odds of finding someone real will get better.

What we dont see in 30 minutes (including commercials), is what happens in real life. We wont always see eye to eye, and if you cant let a person go thats not right for you, then that is a personal thing. But for those that actually want love, and cant find it because t.v/magazines/music tells me that they know whats right for me, then that is wrong!

Peace, NRE.

S+F

You're right. I've seen it happen and even been apart of it myself. Basing our assumptions of love and life on someone else's fantasy.

But once you see what's actually IN the box, than you can see whats OUTSIDE the box and form a better understand of you relationships with friends and lovers. Very powerful stuff indeed.

That's why the television needs to go. Along with all these love songs. 'I love the way you lie to me'.. Haha. Ignorance is bliss I suppose.

reply to post by WraithXV


Thanks for the reply. What I find weird is that even though we see that we do not resemble the fantasy we willingly try to become them. Instead of realizing that we are not the t.v. show, we try to mentally do it, and then we wonder why things go so horribly wrong.

We became parts of someone else's plot, someone else's story. Instead of creating our own.

Peace, NRE.

A good example is to see what you have, or what you are looking for and see how it compares to what we see as entertainment. Is it similar? Or is it far fetched as compared to who you will meet, or someone you can love?

When we look for love, or a companion, can we evolve ourselves into our own sitcom? Or how about going into a bar, and buying a girl a drink because you thought she was attractive, or had a feeling that this was a good way to start a conversation. When you approach someone that your interested in and throw them off by starting a "non" typical conversation, you can throw someone off balance, and this can cause them to be themselves.

If you start a conversation, like someone your not, you can enter into something thats fake, because thats how it started.

Its easier to emulate someone else as opposed to being yourself.
Peace, NRE.

I guess the fighting was easier for people to deal with

Peace, NRE.

Ah,

I hear what you're saying.

I just said elsewhere - I'm rather strange. Decent person, but - kinda weird.

These "women's magazines", and the media directed at women - it is to sell products. And to shape behavior. Its all a bunch of BS. And the same goes for media directed at men.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


NRE, I was just thinking about this thread again after reading yet another mondo crappy "relationship" type article on AOL. Yeah, I know, I shouldn't be reading *any* of the garbage on that site

In any case, I reread your OP also and this stood out -

I am sure that many women are upset to what we have seen about women on some of these threads. And men dont understand why some are upset.

Alot of men seem to believe the media stereotypes of women. They may have met some women who do "fit the mold" - and then coupled with what they see in the media - they then think that ALL women are a certain way.

So of course people are going to be upset if they are "stereotyped". Which seems to happen - these days - mostly to women and gays. I really don't see as much stereotyping of men - yeah some - like the men complain of "dummies" such as Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin etc - and - they are correct on this - it is a negative stereotype.

But - we also see - "Military Men", Gay men, Metrosexuals, Emos, Hipsters, etc. You see more of a variety of men. Whereas women are usually portrayed as dim witted sex kittens. Or the occasional "ball buster" - but that is seen as *negative*, and made in a negative light.

I don't watch much TV, I try to avoid most of this garbage. I do watch some though. I was watching the old "Roseanne" (Barr) TV show the other day - IMO - most US women are closer to *her*. In looks and personality.

But this is not what we see on TV. We see the Kardashians and Gossip Girl.

You know, speaking of stereotypes, and "talkative women" - think about it - do Marge Simpson and Lois Griffin chatter on like magpies? No, they don't. If anything - their loudmouthed men never shut up!

I try not to let stereotypes bother me, and for the most part, they don't. As far as personal relationships go (goes for friends too) - if someone doesn't like me - they can piss off. What *does* concern me though - is that I might be discriminated against, work wise. This is the only real concern I have on this issue.

One thing that is kind of bothersome, personal relationship wise - is that men seem to want the "stereotypical" woman. It's weird. They complain about it, but seem to want it. And I don't mean just looks, either. My exH - I kid you not - ASKED ME to NAG him.

I've had several men try to "girlify" me. I am more of a quiet, studious type of person. And weird I do not care to go shopping with the friends' wives and giggle. Or nag. It's not me. No BS though - a few guys have encouraged me, tried to actively steer me, to become this way.

Another odd thing - I read about some "virtual girlfriend" which is quite popular in Japan. I guess its a phone app or something to drag around like those "virtual pets" of a few years ago. Anyway, one thing this virtual girlfriend does is - pesters the guy and whines.

Ooooo Kaaaayyyyy........

People baffle me. They really do.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


It doesn't matter. The truth is bad people exist period. Be they white or black, man or woman, bad people exist.
Just like during the day's of Jim Crow, when society enabled white people that where bad to do bad things, society enables women who are bad to do bad things these day's.

As a species we aren't telepathic. We can't magically tell if the person we are meeting is good or bad. Sure some rational deductions might help you screen out some, but not all. So from a male perspective, given that society will give a "you go girl" to bad women when they hurt innocent men, added to the fact you can't tell if someone is bad or not; unless you want bad things to happen to you the only recourse is to assume the worst.

Even if only 20-30% of women where bad and 80-70% of women where good, it still doesn't change the fact that it would be a fools bet. And at this junction in time, when it is perceived the numbers are flipped, it becomes a suicidal bet.

Look at what happened to that Minster, Mr. Winkler. He made the mistake of trusting the wrong woman.
He ended up dead and she got a new house. Events like that are a dime a dozen these day's, it just isn't worth the risk.

Life is already too short, too brutal to risk further shortening your time here and increasing your chances of being brutalized.