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Dating Guide

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posted on Jan, 13 2011 @ 04:41 PM
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reply to post by uk today
 


Exactly, and i do not want anything to do with them, as my life has proven, alot of them where just desperate to wreck my life for nothing.

So i agree with that statement.




posted on Jan, 13 2011 @ 05:00 PM
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reply to post by uk today
 


Not so fast hot stuff
Everybuddy knows that MEN are the toughest and most deadly (I dont' care what yer video says



posted on Jan, 13 2011 @ 08:00 PM
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Originally posted by Silver Star

Originally posted by inchworm
Rent a new fancy car for the date night and tell em you own it. Go to a fancy restarant and order them the most expensive thing.


There's this girl at the office I like but I can't hire a fancy car to impress her because she's already seen me pulling up to work in my crap car that was made in 1995.

Also, she knows I'm poor because I bring in microwaveable cheeseburgers for dinner. How do I hoodwink her into thinking I'm a good catch?

And in the unlikely event that she said yes to a date, I wouldn't be able to drink because she lives miles away and I'd have to drive.

What would inchworm do?


Hi pal
First thing ya do is to take your shirt off at work and let her take a gander at your chest--any old excuse will do, say "Its hot in here...' or "Im' all itchy!' After yous get her attention you can pop the question "Say, you gonna go out with me sometime or what?'

After she says yes tell her SHE has to drive so YOU can drink-- no problem, broads love to feel in charge, driving a car and all. (Make sure to pay attention to what kinda cars she drives and if its fancy enough for ya).

On the date be real friendly, put your arm around her when shes' drivin, massage her ear and make sure you never stop smiling
When it comes time to kiss her spring the trap before she has a chance to know what hit her. Good luck, junior



posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 01:40 PM
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Originally posted by uk today
reply to post by inchworm
 


Wow, my powers of remote mind control really work !!!






Lady, ya aint' got no powers or nothin! So quit squaking like ya do, understand?!



posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 01:59 PM
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Originally posted by inchworm
After she says yes tell her SHE has to drive so YOU can drink-- no problem, broads love to feel in charge, driving a car and all. (Make sure to pay attention to what kinda cars she drives and if its fancy enough for ya).


That's a brilliant idea! This way it'll make it seem that I'm all for womens lib and sexual equality or whatever. She might even think that if we moved in together I'd do all the hoovering and washing up.


As for finding an excuse to take my shirt off, I don't think I could get away with that where I work but I've come up with another idea. Girls always say I've got a nice bottom so I'll go into work on Monday, pretend to drop my pen as I go past her desk and slowly bend over to pick it up - all the while clenching my bum muscles for best effect.

Thanks for the advice!



posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 02:12 PM
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reply to post by Silver Star
 


Bend over, eh? Sounds like a plan, my man. And make sure she gets a real good look (wiggle it a little).



posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 02:37 PM
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Originally posted by inchworm
reply to post by uk today
 


Not so fast hot stuff
Everybuddy knows that MEN are the toughest and most deadly (I dont' care what yer video says


My crystal ball is now telling me it is absolutely imperative ( look it up in the dictionary
) that I issue an urgent warning to all females who wish to escape from relationships that were formed on advice from a certain " Dating Guide "

All is not lost ladies...there are apparently 50 ways to leave your lover !!




RUN AWAY.....GET OUT....QUICK...



posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 03:01 PM
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reply to post by Silver Star
 

Clenching those bum muscles eh ??

Beware ladies, the warning signs are there, a self confessed tightass !!



posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 03:06 PM
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reply to post by uk today
 


Hardy har HAR-- you aint' warning nobuddy about nothin, honey. And anyways, the guy leaves the gal, not the other ways around.



posted on Jan, 15 2011 @ 12:38 PM
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Originally posted by Silver Star

Originally posted by inchworm
After she says yes tell her SHE has to drive so YOU can drink-- no problem, broads love to feel in charge, driving a car and all. (Make sure to pay attention to what kinda cars she drives and if its fancy enough for ya).


That's a brilliant idea! She might even think that if we moved in together I'd do all the hoovering and washing up.



Buddy, dont' ever plan on doin none of that
Thats' the whole point, ya see-- you be layin on the couch the time while SHE is doin the housework-- never forget that and your whole life after meeting Mrs. Right will be like a pina colada on the beach, a breeze. (MEN dont' do housework, guy)



posted on Jan, 15 2011 @ 02:03 PM
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Originally posted by inchworm
Buddy, dont' ever plan on doin none of that
T


Don't worry I'm not. A man's only job should be going out and chopping the firewood. When you find yourself buzzing around the kitchen like a blue-arsed fly then you know something's gone wrong somewhere down the line.

Mrs Right, if she is a REAL woman, would never allow her husband within 2 foot of a vacuum cleaner. And if he did she'd get grumpy about it, like he was invading her territory or something.



posted on Jan, 15 2011 @ 02:08 PM
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reply to post by Silver Star
 


Your a smart guy


Sounds like your lookin at life on easy street.



posted on Jan, 15 2011 @ 02:22 PM
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Originally posted by inchworm
reply to post by Silver Star
 


Your a smart guy


Sounds like your lookin at life on easy street.


Well that's probably because life on love street is WAAAAAAY too expensive for tightasses







posted on Jan, 15 2011 @ 02:26 PM
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reply to post by uk today
 


Its also too expensive for moneyless nerds.

If a person is moneyless, is he a tightarse, no.

Females can never accept some males do not want anything to do with them. How many females do you see attracted to a homeless person? That must be the only advantage to being homeless.

edit on 1/15/2011 by andy1033 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 15 2011 @ 02:27 PM
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reply to post by uk today
 


Hardy har har, wise guy


Trust me, I already lives on love street.



posted on Jan, 15 2011 @ 02:33 PM
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reply to post by andy1033
 




How many females do you see attracted to a homeless person? That must be the only advantage to being homeless.


...(I assume you mean not many..) and I wouldn't call that an advantage tbh.


And yeah, you do see some women with homeless guys, reason being not all women are so shallow they would leave someone because they have no money. Money doesn't matter at the end of the day after all. Love wins through.

edit on 15-1-2011 by Rising Against because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 15 2011 @ 02:40 PM
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reply to post by inchworm
 




Mmmmm, so men don't do housework eh ???

I know what I'm sending ya next christmas...take your pick baby







posted on Jan, 15 2011 @ 02:44 PM
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reply to post by Rising Against
 


I would call it an advantage, and you see how many are attracted to those poor people.

If you females want to help someone go and help them.



posted on Jan, 15 2011 @ 02:47 PM
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reply to post by andy1033
 



I would call it an advantage, and you see how many are attracted to those poor people.


Yes, you're right, there is less people attracted or 'with' those without wealth. What point are you making?

There’s less but they are their still. Like I said, love wins through at the end of the day and money doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

If you females want to help someone go and help them.


Umm.. I'm a guy.


EDIT: Anyway, I just realized, this is BTS so theres no point arguing over stuff like this. ATS is where you should argue, not here. This section is for fuuuuun..

edit on 15-1-2011 by Rising Against because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 15 2011 @ 02:54 PM
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Originally posted by andy1033
reply to post by Rising Against
 


I would call it an advantage, and you see how many are attracted to those poor people.

If you females want to help someone go and help them.


I did, I worked for 6 yrs with the homeless


This thread is just a bit of fun !!!
Hey at least I hope it is !!



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