50 Symptoms of ATS Syndrome! Are YOU Infected?

reply to post by OutKast Searcher


LOL OKS...

As it so happens I am not busy for the next 14 hours so....

I disagree!

On an unrelated note, I am now eager to date just so I can say "S&F after sex!" I am a man on a mission - and probably a man who will find himself single again very, very soon.

~Heff

OooooHhhhhh crap that means im all most dead

53) You know what day today is and are cowering under your sink as a reasonable precaution.



54) Blame hypnotists for you inability to link properly resulting in superfluous edits.

reply to post by schrodingers dog


LOL Sdog. One of my ex's is a hypnotherapist! And, coming to think of it, I think I still pay her cell phone bill... Hrm...

~Heff

LMAO Heff. This thread kills me.

S + F.

The politics show has given me another...

#55) If you've ever made your spouse call you by another name so you can preserve "plausible deniability".

~Heff

reply to post by Hefficide


56) Ranting to loved ones about how they are being brainwashed ,programmed and conditioned by Television while they are watching their favourite tv show.
Guilty of this one....don't think they appreciate my views, but that is life
Fun thread S & F
Regards

I'm glad to say that I am not that paranoid, yet. Is there a cure?
2nd

reply to post by Hefficide



OMG!!!!
Is there any vaccine available for this ATS infection?
S ^ F for originality

Originally posted by Hefficide


21) Your Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners both included at least one outburst about the TSA.

22) Your diary, from those two holidays, both include an entry that says "My family is too stupid to understand just how dangerous the TSA is."

23) You've referred to your spouse, parents, siblings, or children as "Sheeple."

haha i've done all that

Seeing that I am bored, and probably manic ( ) I've decided to add to my list - though the count may now be off by one or more. I'm too lazy to check.

56) You've refused to sign for a package because the Fed Ex guy looked a little too clean cut and authoritarian.

57) You are on a first name basis with the operator at any radio station that hosts a conspiracy or political show.

58) They are on a first name basis with you.

59) Your underground bunker has an underground bunker.

60) You've ever Googled somebody who replied to your posts to see if their address came up as "Langley, Virginia".

61) You've asked your Doctors if they can test your kundalini.

62) You've ever U2U'd one mod to voice your suspicions that another mod might be a CIA plant.

62) You've ever gotten a reply to the above and then U2U'd yet another mod to say that you are sure that at least two mods are CIA plants.

63) You have an "ammo closet".

64) Your "ammo closet" is located in a room filled with canned goods, bottled water, and a kayak.

65) You've reached the level of paranoia where the words "OK, just let me disarm the bed and the door...." doesn't shock your loved ones.

66) You refer to every science fiction movie you see as "disclosure".

67) When you see the meme about being behind 7 proxies - you think "amatuers'.

68) Your alias has aliases.

69) Every power failure is the apocalypse - until the power comes back on - at which point it was merely a dressed rehearsal.

70) You have tried to mail order a pet chupacabra.

71) You have succeeded in mail ordering a pet chupacabra.

72) You set your pet chupacabra free because you became convinced it was watching you a bit too much.

73) You deny the validity of your marriage license under the terms of individual sovereignty.

74) You've screamed the word "PROPAGANDA" at the intro to any Star Wars movie.

75) You did the above without intending to be funny.

76) You've spent more than five hours contemplating how many ways the Teletubbies might be considered brainwashing.

77) You own a post apocalyptic movie and refer to it as "educational materials".

78) You've looked for secret ciphers in Doctor Suess books.

79) You've found them.

80) You have "WWND" tattooed on you and know that it stands for "What would Neo Do?"

~Heff

Heff...you scaring me!

When did you install a keylogger on my comp and hidden cameras in my house????

reply to post by GENERAL EYES


Oh my God GE!?!?!?!?!?! I was describing my house! Wait... are you in here? I am in there?
Great, now I have to burn everything down, break out a new identity, and move....

Again.

~Heff

what would nixon do? nixon, close tho, nixon was much more powerful than neo, we all know that.
one more thing.
- the nsa has ACTUALLY showed up to question you about your research habits.

trust me, its sooooo much scarier if you arent paranoid to see them. you expect to see jehovas whitnesses, and bam "hi we are the nsa, we are just gonna have a look around due to your internet histories. should you disagree, we were never here, so dont have to honor your objections. nice fellahs them, let me clean up after them for the next two hours too

Yeah and thanks to ATS I have a basement full of camping equipment, 2 boxes of canned goods, 10 Gallons of water, weapons (soon to be guns), books and printouts of survival and plants for medicine,seeds and a first aid kit AND some materials to build a fallout shelter in my basement to protect from radiation. I say i'm pretty infected.

reply to post by innervision0730


Is that all? Give it a few months for it to get really bad! Oh, and on a related note... Home Depot does sell these really, really cool two story sheds that are nearly house sized in their own right. Oh and you can fit 2 or 3 of them into a normal sized back yard.

You aren't infected until you are storing your water in tanks designed for portable, trailer based pressure washers! And, yes, "tanks" was plural!

~Heff

reply to post by Hefficide


That's awesome! Now why didn't I think of that?! I do need to invest in a gas mask though. I've got about 6 huge pots to plant seeds and bricks stored away so I can build a stove. I'm still working on my list

You know your infected when natural disasters happen and you yell "The government did it!" or "It was the aliens!"

While ATS wasn't the provocation, I did get X-Rays of my head looking for implants...ATS Syndrome - I haz it...

You realize that you have 2 months of back work to do because of all the time you spend on ATS!

That is how I knew I had been Infected! Excellent Thread

And I have one heck of a survival library!