Funniest one that happened to me personally.....18 years old in Germany, i was invited to a fancy dress party at a friends nightclub just near our
base. We had to dress as anything starting with the letter we were given. I was given "L" so went as a lumberjack (very original i know).
Borrowed a chainsaw off my mate, got a large log to prop on my shoulder, fake beard and chest hair drawn on with a black marker to make myself look
manly, chequed shirt, jeans and boots and off i went. Had a few drinks too many in camp first, and we were going to go into town later, so i decided
to take my mates chainsaw back to him.
Off i walk, rather wobbly i might add, down the long street towards the nightclub. Further ahead i saw a girl i knew from the local bar, so i shouted
to her. She turned and kept walking. I shouted again and sped up, she started walking faster though. In the end, i started jogging after her, along
with the chainsaw, the log, the fake beard and chest wig......she is now on her mobile phone running even faster.
Within two minutes a German cop car pulled me over, hands on holsters ready to draw their handguns. Turned out it wasn't my friend at all, but a
total stranger out for a walk.
I had to explain things down at the police station, and luckily the police and the lady were quite forgiving.
Bought the lady a box of choccys and flowers to apologize and all ended well.
Another one, basic training, 16 years old, me and two others got done for fighting, had to report to the jail and be inspected by the Regimental
Police several times a day, just to mess us about.. Different uniforms for different inspections, and on one occasion we had to wear full combat gear.
The instructions were to have two magazines in our ammo pouches.
One of the lads, thick as anything, turned up with a porn mag in one, and a Farmers Weekly in the other.
Earned himself a night in the jail for
Coming out of the NAAFI after taking a statement regarding a break in, and finding bacon strips covering the whole of the police car. Never did find
out who did it, but it must have cost them a fortune in bacon and taken ages.
Training centre again, had just come in from guard duty on the front gate and went to sign my smg back in. I had it slung over my shoulder whist i was
writing in the book. It slipped off and hit the floor......well it would have done if it hadn't first landed on one of my instructors new puppy's
that she had brought in to show everyone. A miniature Yorkshire Terrier puppy verses a Sterling smg, not a great match.
Luckily the dog survived the crush, but it was sparko for a few seconds. Poor little thing lol, just comes into the world and a clutz drops a gun it.
Have plenty more but i'm afraid they may break the T&C's.