Dennis Miller tells all

By Dennis Miller
All the rhetoric on whether or not we should go to war against Iraq has got my insane little brain spinning like a roulette wheel. I enjoy reading opinions from both sides but I have detected a hint of confusion from some of you. As I was reading the paper recently, I was reminded of the best advice someone ever gave me. He told me about the kiss method ("keep it simple, stupid!) So, with this as a theme, I'd like to apply this theory for those who don't quite get it. My hope is that we can simplify things a bit and
recognize a few important facts. Here are 10 things to consider when voicing an opinion on this important issue:

1.) Out of President Bush and Saddam Hussein ... Hussein is the bad guy.

2.) If you have faith in the United Nations to do the right thing keep this in mind, they have Libya heading the committee on human rights and Iraq
heading the global disarmament committee. Do your own math here.

3.) If you use Google search and type in "French military victories" and
click on "I'm feeling lucky", your reply will be "did you mean French military defeats?"

4.) If you're only anti-war slogan is "no war for oil," sue your school district for allowing you to slip through the cracks and robbing you of the education you deserve.

5.) Saddam and bin Laden will not seek United Nations approval before they
try to kill us.

6.) Despite common belief, Martin Sheen is not the president. He plays one
on TV.

7.) Even if you are anti-war, you are still an "infidel" and bin Laden wants you dead, too.

8.) If you believe in a "vast right-wing conspiracy" but not in the danger
that Hussein poses, quit hanging out with the Dell computer dude

9.) We are not trying to liberate them.

10.) Whether you are for military action or against it, our young men and women overseas are fighting for us to defend our right to speak out. We all need to support them without reservation.

I hope this helps.

This one is my favorite:
4.) If you're only anti-war slogan is "no war for oil," sue your school district for allowing you to slip through the cracks and robbing you of the education you deserve.

Pure.

Simple.

Honest.

And speaks to the often lame position most current protestors come from. I have a dear friend who was a staunch Vietnam war protestor/activist. After returning from a protest here in NYC, he was depressed and beside himself... he had trouble finding anyone who knew the issues, who knew why they should protest, who knew why they were able to protest. He lamented that the crowd was primarily anarchists looking to have some kind of protest -- any protest -- as long as they could protest. Sad.

Good post AF1 ! I have always liked Dennis Miller, he has a way of getting his point across with his very dry sense of humor. It seemed like nobody liked him when he was doing Monday Night Football, but I liked his views from a "normal guy" point of view.

I love Miller. He needs a new show. He has such great view points and get gets them across very eloquantly.

I love that list. Its so true. Sadly Miller does need a new show.

Originally posted by Gazrok

It went to a site that had the Simpson's Groundskeeper Wille saying "Bonjour you cheese eatin' surrender monkeys"

Actualy the French did win a war. The 100 Years War. A war that took the French 100 years to win it .

You forgot to mention the French Revolution, but I guess that was a given since they were fighting each other.

Here are the quotes involving the French that was sent to me. (Again these aren't mine I'm just reposting them for you all to read)

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." --- General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion." --Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." ---- Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." ---Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right." ---Rush Limbaugh

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." --- Regis Philbin

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know." --- P.J O'Rourke (1989)

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." ---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He IS French, people." --Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" ---Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." --David Letterman

How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb? One; he holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.

Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.

What the heck, while we're at it here are a few more. Just for fun of course!!!!

"Did you see the new bomb the government came up with? It weights 21,000 pounds. The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." �Jay Leno

"I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac." �Dennis Miller

"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq." �Dennis Miller

"President Bush and National Security Guard Tom Ridge launched the new Department of Homeland Security, just 24 hours after taking us down to threat level French � I'm sorry, I mean threat level yellow." �Craig Kilborn

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
---Mark Twain


"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
---Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
---Rush Limbaugh

Originally posted by AF1
You forgot to mention the French Revolution, but I guess that was a given since they were fighting each other.

Well they could'nt even fight a revolution the right way, they killed half of their population by guilliotine.

Originally posted by JediMaster
Actualy the French did win a war. The 100 Years War. A war that took the French 100 years to win it

.

Hey JM, it actually took 116 years!!
www.crwflags.com...

Where are you guys getting the school/mascot images from?
I want to put one up also.

Originally posted by DClark
Where are you guys getting the school/mascot images from?
I want to put one up also.

If you want one from a team in the tourney, go to this site and click on the team you want. sports.espn.go.com...