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Behold! The Predictions of Nahum the Celestial in the Year of Nibiru 2011

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posted on Dec, 31 2010 @ 01:50 PM
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Greetings to the Brothers and Sisters of Cyberia, of Magonia, of Dreamland and Area 51. Greetings to the Brothers and Sisters of Ur, Zion, Shem, and the Four Ancient Kingdoms of the World.

Behold! Here are stated forth for your edification the predictions of Nahum the Celestial, the Final Prophet of Mankind, for the Year of Changes, this 2011th Year of Nibiru.


Behold! In January, the mighty snows which obey the word of Nahum the Celestial shall grip much of the world in its icy claws, to demand attention be paid to the philosophies and predictions of Nahum the Celestial. For is it not writ in the New Book of Nahum:



"the false prophets and the skeptics and the debunkers who hath led the SOULS of man astray into witch craft, sorcery, and vile entertainments of his own MAKING and not as ORDAINED by the Annanaki."

The New Book of Nahum 1:7


Behold! In February, the freemen armed with Muskets who cometh from Boston, shall smite the furious Norsemen in the Thunderdome.

Behold! In March, the one named Benjamin, who laboreth in the Vault of Mammon, shall mount an ornithopter. And he shall escape the wrath of the mob, ye, though he fling his worthless papers upon the mob, they shall for his blood and rend him from limb to limb.

Behold! In the month of April, there shall be a great pestilence in the land. It shall smite the unbelievers and debunkers and thread movers, who mock Nahum the Celestial but shall run in TERROR for their VERY HIDES when the vimanas that accompany Niburu shall fill the skies in the Final Year of 2012.

For is it not written in the New Book of Nahum:'


In the word of the Prophet Ezekiel, who returns now with us, our crafts which are like the appearance of the wheels and their construction is like gleaming jasper, and all four wheels looked alike. Their structure is like a wheel within a wheel.

The New Book of Nahum 1:10


In the months of Summer, there shall be a Reckoning of the Hosts of Men, and they shall fall without number before the Sword of the Divine and the Righteous Wrath of Nahum the Celestial, Fifth and Final Prophet of Mankind.

In October, there shall be a great earthquake which shall shake the grounds and upheave the earth, bringing the wicked to their knees. And they shall crawl to Nahum, and beg of him to stay the furious wrath of the Mighty. And he shall laugh at them, and strike them with his mighty whip, which shall be just.

In November, there shall begin the Final War, when the Hermit King of the North assaults the castles of his brother to the south, and the Champions and Anti-Champions of Darkness and the VImanas shall crush each other until there is only darkness and wailing upon the earth!

BEHOLD! THESE ARE THE WORDS AND TESTIMONIES OF NAHUM THE CELESTIAL.




posted on Dec, 31 2010 @ 01:54 PM
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Huh????



posted on Dec, 31 2010 @ 01:57 PM
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It's gonna be a fun, fun year. I've said it for quite a while, people: Hold onto your hats because this ride is gonna get bumpy. Keep your hands and feet inside at all times.


Seriously though, learn to laugh and smile at everything that comes your way, no matter how dismal it may seem. Know that it will pass, that it must go in order to make way for the new. Let everything wash over you. Sit in peace and love.



posted on Dec, 31 2010 @ 01:58 PM
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Who is Nahum



posted on Dec, 31 2010 @ 01:59 PM
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So the Patriots are gonna win the Superbowl????
Goodsh!t



posted on Dec, 31 2010 @ 02:07 PM
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nahum???

any relation to ho hum??

any fool can see january will be very icy, just walk out your door.



posted on Dec, 31 2010 @ 02:12 PM
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I thought Monty Python had split up
but that was true comedy genius



posted on Dec, 31 2010 @ 02:13 PM
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I think, since the Mighty Nahum commands the weather, that the snows that grip the world in January would be better suited in July! A heatwave in January would certainly cause some worshiping considerations if that is what he so desires. I am not sure of Nahum's intentions. Does he require a sacrifice or alter of some sorts?

The whipping part seems a bit self-serving of Nahum, he should contact that Zeta woman Nancy and see if he can get some "Service to Others" training modules.

Am I being too Judgmental? Am I being critical of such a God-like being? It is possible, so if anything when the snows come in January is there anything other than snow that will tell us this is really the workings of such a Almighty Prophet and not just some whimsy flimsy floosey like MOTHER NATURE! LOL

Nahum probably needs a Hug, no Stars, no Flags, just a big ole hug from the Universe of Man! It does make the Universe flow better I find!

Hugs for Nahum! Hugs for Nahum! Hear Ye, Hear Ye!



posted on Dec, 31 2010 @ 02:16 PM
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You know what surprises me more than anything about this post? It's that it isn't the usual 10,000 word thesis on how horrifically I/we are going to die.... soon..... & how some unknown God is going to dispatch me/us.

There's a nasty trait peculiar to schizophrenics & bipolar manic depressives typified by massive volume of disjointed & deluded text. You've all seen them.

OPs prophecy isn't going to happen. He or she will more likely slip into the depths (again) & be rescued by some EMT & a psych nurse with a syringe. Again.

Happy New Year ATSers!!



posted on Dec, 31 2010 @ 02:17 PM
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Behold! In February, the freemen armed with Muskets who cometh from Boston, shall smite the furious Norsemen in the Thunderdome.


Is that like American football?GO FREEMEN!!!!!
edit on 11/09/2010 by SlovenlyGhost because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 31 2010 @ 02:22 PM
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Go Colts!! Prove this guy wrong....



posted on Jan, 3 2011 @ 04:41 PM
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Salutations, oh thine benevolent and most merciful Nahum, who doth posteth his most mirthful and disporting prophecies - I beseech of thee that thou couldst provide the humble hawks of the sea a victorious outing in their battle with the canonized ones from the new city of Orleans on the coming Saturday eve? I would be most appreciative if you could assist in their humblest of endeavors to attain the most coveted trophy of Lombardi of the seven blocks of granite.



posted on Jan, 3 2011 @ 04:50 PM
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Lol thank you from making this thread!

You just made my day.



posted on Jan, 3 2011 @ 05:19 PM
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Originally posted by NahumTheCelestial

Behold! In March, the one named Benjamin, who laboreth in the Vault of Mammon, shall mount an ornithopter. And he shall escape the wrath of the mob, ye, though he fling his worthless papers upon the mob, they shall for his blood and rend him from limb to limb.



Great Ben Bernanke will be pulled from the FED...~ but just who from the NYFed will replace him? ~




Behold! In the month of April, there shall be a great pestilence in the land. It shall smite the unbelievers and debunkers and thread movers, who mock Nahum the Celestial but shall run in TERROR for their VERY HIDES when the vimanas that accompany Niburu shall fill the skies in the Final Year of 2012.


Great, April showers ...bring May flowers and all that stuff. but i wonder how an unbeliever gets
smited by a virus or bacteria? Oh yeah UFOs firing a select death ray upon those anti-Nahum protesters...





In the months of Summer, there shall be a Reckoning of the Hosts of Men, and they shall fall without number before the Sword of the Divine and the Righteous Wrath of Nahum the Celestial, Fifth and Final Prophet of Mankind.


Great, you are going to annihliate scores/hosts of humanity...performing genocide, so that any survivors
can worship your greatness?




In October, there shall be a great earthquake which shall shake the grounds and upheave the earth, bringing the wicked to their knees. And they shall crawl to Nahum, and beg of him to stay the furious wrath of the Mighty. And he shall laugh at them, and strike them with his mighty whip, which shall be just.


Great, Whip It...Whip It Good...



In November, there shall begin the Final War, when the Hermit King of the North assaults the castles of his brother to the south, and the Champions and Anti-Champions of Darkness and the VImanas shall crush each other until there is only darkness and wailing upon the earth!


Great, from what i gather from your statement is:
Professer Zygof, the crustaceon from 'Future-rama' attacks his brother and cousin 'Craw-Dad' and result in much collateral-damage to the bystander humans...



BEHOLD! THESE ARE THE WORDS AND TESTIMONIES OF NAHUM THE CELESTIAL.



Shudder !



posted on Jan, 3 2011 @ 08:29 PM
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Originally posted by NahumTheCelestial
Behold! In February, the freemen armed with Muskets who cometh from Boston, shall smite the furious Norsemen in the Thunderdome.


Pfft I could have predicted that. The Vikings will lose to the Patriots? Lo! Even with a Cheesehead of great renown my home team sucketh supreme willy.

Your last thread actually seemed serious. Glad to see this was all for a laugh.



posted on Jan, 3 2011 @ 10:03 PM
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wow...don't tell us you made an account, and made 20 posts just to pull this out of your arse?...


For crying out loud people, this forum is not even in the front pages anymore, and was taken from the regular list...

Maybe we should start posting a lot more threads about all the 911 crap theories out there and those of us who don't believe in the "the government was behind 911" should demand for the 911 forum to be taken off from the front page. Many times we have to see posts about "thermite" and other fantasies...

After the 911 forum is taken off from the front page, we could keep on making demands so that the 911 forum doesn't show on the regular list of forums in the website, and then maybe we shall continue posting about how stupid are all those people who keep believing in "the government was behind 911"...



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