My Religion Got Me A Mercedes Today For Christmas!!!

I finally figured it out today.

After being a devout Christian for decades, giving 20%+ of my paycheck to my church, listening to every word my pastor had to say like they were from God himself.

And it finally all paid off.

I have been praying for a new Mercedes almost every night for close to 20 years.

I truly think that having a new Mercedes can completely change my life for the better.

People will respect me before even meeting me, and I've always had trouble with women, something a Mercedes will be able to stop.

SO ANYWAYS...

Today I'm waiting at the airport, and here is this brand new Mercedes pulling up.

It's an older couple, but it seemed like only the lady was getting on a flight.

However her husband walked with her into the terminal with her and to the line.

Left the car there, running.

I couldn't help myself, I took it, I stopped at 3 bars on the way home, no girls yet but they were looking, and it's in my garage.

Looking for a beat up one or wrecked one to swap vin numbers now.

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A LOT OF YOU ARE PROBABLY WONDERING WHY A GOOD CHRISTIAN MAN WOULD DO THIS??

It's because I know 100% that God will forgive me.

Oh come on, we all know this is a joke.Nobody is going to take this seriously lol. But it did make me laugh, so job well done.

And hopefully you've read the entire first post.

If not, go back now and make sure you read it until the end, what comes next will not make sense if you do not.










Just Kidding!!!

Though this topic came up during Christmas dinner tonight with family.

For Christians who can repent and to those who believe they will be forgiven of all their sins...

Why stop sinning if you can repent or be forgiven?

Is there a Good Better and Best Heaven, or just one?

reply to post by Jeanius


thats one way

reply to post by Jess_Undefined


Hehe

You were quick on the ball.

reply to post by Jeanius


You make a really good point actually. If they are going to be forgiven for everything, why do they even bother to not do bad things? Good topic to discuss. =] And hope you had a great christmas.

Only pussies drive Mercedes bra...should have stolen a truck. WOMEN LOVE TRUCKS!!
If God forgave Charlamagne then you obviously have nothing to worry about.

Why stop sinning?Because it wont be god chasing you down ,it will be some guy with a baseball bat making you hurt real bad,and you will be praying for him to stop.As a member of certain religious group that came a knocking on my door said "I have CONvinced myself that what i believe in is true" .

Here's one my grandpa had that was pretty good too...

If Mary and Joseph were married, why was she a virgin?

And to expand on that, anyone see the new family guy where it was Mary and Joseph eating breakfast and the neighbor pokes his head in and asks "Hey Joseph, how's doin Mary in her sleep going? Oh hey Mary!"

rofl

reply to post by Jeanius


I didn't realise trolling was allowed here?
Second line not needed.

reply to post by keepithush


Nah he wasnt trolling, there was actually a point to the story, read his second post.

I was gonna say ....

Instead of donating that 20% to your church for two decades you could of just saved it and bought your own damn Mercedes.

Originally posted by 12voltz
Why stop sinning?Because it wont be god chasing you down ,it will be some guy with a baseball bat making you hurt real bad,and you will be praying for him to stop. .

You're right. Just because God will forgive us, doesn't mean you can just go around doing what you please. You also have to make things right. BTW I've been praying for a BMW

God drives an Aston...

For Christians who can repent and to those who believe they will be forgiven of all their sins...

Why stop sinning if you can repent or be forgiven?

Living the Christian life is more than obeying rules and performing rituals,these do not make
a fulfilling life.
Having a relationship with God is what it is all about,having the fullness of love and joy and peace,
these are what it is really all about.
When his love gets in your heart you have the same love for him and others,this transformation
of heart is what is life changing,
The concept of sinning in the face of God changes,you no longer want to but desire to please him,
This does not equal perfection,we can still stumble,still get it wrong,the difference is that when we
stumble that we are still secure in his love,that he doesn't reject us because we are imperfect,
He picks us up and dusts us off and sets us walking again.
Thinking that we can do as we please and God will forgive us anyway is a misunderstanding
of his character and what a relationship with him is all about.
The change is that we no longer desire to sin,but desire to please him,
It is a lifetime of growth.

BTW,He has a Vanquish S,a DBS V12 and an AMV8...

reply to post by BlackViolet


What a nice post. Thanks. I'm going to church tomorrow because its just been too long since I last attended. I had a rather strange Christmas day to say the least, so I just really need to go. I'll ask a blessing for you.

reply to post by maybee


Hello Maybee,

Have a nice time a Church,May God show you the things of him,

And thank you very much for blessing,I will take as much as i can get...

Violet.

Edit to keep on topic-

Jeanius,I actually agree with your post,Unfortunately there is an element in Christian circles
that has this mindset,that think they can do as they please or they think that God is a wishmeister,
It is sad as with many other things the bad is pronounced whereas the good is hidden
One day all things,good and bad will be revealed.

Dear OP,

Your question had long been asked since the Messiah arrived and preached salvation, and many who misunderstood, held firm in their beliefs and even denigrated the Messiah as someone who will led them astray from original teachings passed down from ancestors, whom were equally rigid, where punishments were harsh and eternal with no salvation.

They failed to realised that even as our Creator had been harsh to their ancestors, who sent them wandering in the deserts for 40 years, it had been for a purpose, so that a generation may pass before the uneducated masses can be renewed with a more informed teaching.

And even as they had been sent to captives as slaves, they had never been abandoned, but were given a powerful salvation, witness by nations, to return back to their lands.

He did this, simply because He loved us - humanity.

With the Messiah's appearance on Earth, that message was passed to the masses, that there wll be salvation where love is. Our Creator's love exists in us all, for eternity.

It is whether do we have that same love for him, given free will.

When you figuratively took that mercz, did you enjoy it? Did you stop to think that our Creator, whom love not only you, but others as well, would be happy that you took something that belonged to your neighbour without his knowledge, to satisfy your own greed?

Free will comes with a conscience. When you do something, rationally you would seek within yourself if you are doing the right thing. You will attempt to justify with a million excuses, even if a staunch christian, and battle with your conscience. Our Creator gave us only 10 simple commandments to live by. Judge your actions by it, with no mitigations or excuses, and know if you are or had been worthy of His great love for you.

If you do, it is your free will. He will still be there in your heart, but it will be you that distance yourself from Him with believing that you can get away constantly from such acts and destroying your conscience, till one day you reject Him outright, as retribution on you will come so that there may be justice for your other fellow brothers and sisters wronged, Him who loved you.......

Well you know they say God helps those who help themselves...

It's sometimes better to ask for forgiveness then to ask for permission...

reply to post by hawkiye


Just as our Creator's mercy. salvation and great love for us is swift, so too will be His justice and retribution for those whom we had done wrong to.

It is forgivable if we done something ignorantly, but retribution is terrible if we are aware of a wrong and still commit it, worse if we did it with no remorse and continue to do it consistantly. To do so would mean we have no love for our Creator who gave us the gift of life and love....to become worse than the vilest creature on Earth...

forget about it!