Strange Relationship Happenings

To answer the OP's original question: Yes, I have noticed this. It happened to me a grand total of three times. First two were back in highschool, and played out in a similar manner (I was talking to them normally in each case, and then out of no-where, guys would walk up and she would leave with them. Found out later that both girls already had boyfriends, and the crowd of guys that came over was their friends.).

In the third case, it was a chance encounter with a girl while I was out walking in a local park - no-one was really talking to her, and seeing as we were both just "wandering around", I struck up a conversation. We parted after a little bit of talking, and about 5 minutes later, lo & behold, she was now in a group of about 4-5 guys.

Bear in mind that this was only the case in 3 out of 200 people I have met in that interval (over a period of 12 months). Technically, because I failed to consider that two of them, if not all three had boyfriends, that figure should be reduced to 1 in 200 people.

For future consideration OP, if you decide to make another attempt at your experiment in the future, you cannot just conduct an experiment in one setting: results tend to get corrupted, because no other factors are considered. If you know anyone in a behavior or social psychology department, why not try asking them to setup a "blind" experiment for you?

This would be a basic setup:
Pre-Experiment: Pick a place and time. The place should be done in two settings (a "normal" one - such as your workplace, and another one - such as a bar, library, club, coffee house, etc.).

1. Have other person (preferably one with psychology background), invite female subjects to participate. Before experiment takes place, this person will record basic information about the female subject. All the female subject should know is that they will be meeting you (at the time and place specified) for a quick chat. All you (as the "test subject") should know is the name of the person, and a little bit of what she looks like (for identification on the site).

2. During the meeting, the female subject and yourself do a quick chat (about anything). After the chat, you leave - the female subject shall remain (the time interval depends on how quick guys swarmed around the girls in your initial experiment). As a subject, she should be keeping notes to anything unusual that happened.

3. After this interval passed, the other person (the one that setup the experiment - person with psychology background) gives the female subject a quick interview. Somewhere in this interview should be this question: "After meeting with [your name], did you notice any other attention from people in the surrounding area?".

4. When this has been done enough times (for more accurate results, "the more the merrier"), results are compiled into a report highlighting the location, personality of female subject, and a basic summary of what female subject experienced (not what you observed mind you, but what the female subject had noticed).

*NOTE: You play a small role in this type of experiment. The reason for this is to reduce the amount of bias when looking at the results. (For example, I hate people that wear red sweaters, but still have to perform an experiment with those people. If I found that a person wore a red sweater, it could taint my experiment because I still have the bias against them - Also, this was a fictional example).

And before you quote my post, along with a link or quote to your own saying "I didn't post this thread to consider possible explanations or experiments", I answered your question already, as well as added some constructive criticism for you to ponder. Remember, skeptics hate answering questions without giving some sort of explanation for what happened. Oh, and I did read this, just for clarification.

At the least - try the experiment outlined above (I'm tempted to, although I'd need someone that can replicate what you did with your initial experiment). And I apologize for the rather long read, I know people have places to go, things to see, etc.

-Fossilera

reply to post by woogleuk

Listen pal, I came here, as someone who has been through rough relationships, to try and lend a helpful thought, and you attack me, was that really justified? I'm a commited member of ATS, not some troll, if my post wasn't helpful, I'm sorry, but there is no need for the smart arsed comments, I'll be your friend if you'll be mine, ok?

I have no problem with you, actually... that is merely your perception.

This thread, whose topic I do not want to see derailed, is to gather more information on people who have had this sort of thing happen to them.

Please be respectful of the purpose of this thread.

Thank you for your cooperation, Friend.

-Edrick

reply to post by fossilera

Found out later that both girls already had boyfriends, and the crowd of guys that came over was their friends.

This thread is about gathering evidence of Gangstalking that targets the victim's relationships.

please be respectful of the topic at hand.

Thank your for your cooperation.

-Edrick

Originally posted by Edrick
reply to post by fossilera

 

Found out later that both girls already had boyfriends, and the crowd of guys that came over was their friends.

This thread is about gathering evidence of Gangstalking that targets the victim's relationships.

please be respectful of the topic at hand.

Thank your for your cooperation.

-Edrick

oh, is that what this is about? happens a lot in different ways, different version of the same crap. one day the truth will come out about such things... the reasons, the culprits.

...but I thought this thread was about dating someone then everyone starting to see that person as datable. it actually happens a lot to young virgins. once they get some from someone then all other bitches be sweatin it. that kinna thing.

Originally posted by Edrick
reply to post by fossilera

 

Found out later that both girls already had boyfriends, and the crowd of guys that came over was their friends.

This thread is about gathering evidence of Gangstalking that targets the victim's relationships.

please be respectful of the topic at hand.

Thank your for your cooperation.

-Edrick

With all due respect, I thought I was following the guidelines (at least for the first part of my original post). That little piece you quoted was my "after analysis", meaning that it was a note I made of the experience after it had already happened. Believe me, I thought it was something akin to the gang stalking phenomenon when it first occurred.

And that bit wasn't directed at you either - if I wanted to start trouble, I would've said "Hey Edrick, I think, I solved your problem, it was [insert convincing theory here]", but I'm not. That snippet was included to convey what my results were, and was a part of my "story".

If that's all that bothered you, then I'll leave my scientific humor out next time.
-Fossilera

reply to post by fossilera

With all due respect, I thought I was following the guidelines (at least for the first part of my original post). That little piece you quoted was my "after analysis", meaning that it was a note I made of the experience after it had already happened. Believe me, I thought it was something akin to the gang stalking phenomenon when it first occurred.

And that bit wasn't directed at you either - if I wanted to start trouble, I would've said "Hey Edrick, I think, I solved your problem, it was [insert convincing theory here]", but I'm not. That snippet was included to convey what my results were, and was a part of my "story".

If that's all that bothered you, then I'll leave my scientific humor out next time.

The purpose of this thread is To ALLOW other people who have had similar experiences to post their perspectives here.

Please be respectful of the Topic at hand, and the purpose for this thread.

If you have not HAD such experiences, then kindly leave any and all remarks OUT of this thread, as you are merely contributing to thread Derailment.

Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

-Edrick

reply to post by ChaosMagician

oh, is that what this is about? happens a lot in different ways, different version of the same crap. one day the truth will come out about such things... the reasons, the culprits.

...but I thought this thread was about dating someone then everyone starting to see that person as datable. it actually happens a lot to young virgins. once they get some from someone then all other bitches be sweatin it. that kinna thing.

No, I regret to inform you, that the purpose of this thread is to allow others who have had similar experiences to POST those experiences here...

As I have clearly indicated in the following posts of mine:

www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...

I am not entirely sure how you could have missed them, considering the first one is my original post.

But rest assured, you will NOW be fully aware of the purpose of this thread... Right?

Once again, The purpose of this thread is to allow victims of gang-stalking to share their experiences, especially where it relates to relationship disruption, Thank you for your cooperation.

-Edrick

Originally posted by Edrick
reply to post by ChaosMagician

 

oh, is that what this is about? happens a lot in different ways, different version of the same crap. one day the truth will come out about such things... the reasons, the culprits.

...but I thought this thread was about dating someone then everyone starting to see that person as datable. it actually happens a lot to young virgins. once they get some from someone then all other bitches be sweatin it. that kinna thing.

No, I regret to inform you, that the purpose of this thread is to allow others who have had similar experiences to POST those experiences here...

As I have clearly indicated in the following posts of mine:

www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...

I am not entirely sure how you could have missed them, considering the first one is my original post.

But rest assured, you will NOW be fully aware of the purpose of this thread... Right?

Once again, The purpose of this thread is to allow victims of gang-stalking to share their experiences, especially where it relates to relationship disruption, Thank you for your cooperation.

-Edrick

edit on 26-12-2010 by Edrick because: spelling

"Oh, is that what this thread is about?" translates to "Gee, I couldn't tell because I didn't read any of this bickering so I can only go by thread titles and the first post because I sure as hell aint going to read all of this"

I guess I perhaps should have just said that in the first place but I was trying to give being creative a go and thought that most people would get it.

Way to try to make people feel paranoid about looking like stalkers though, get others to talk about their stalking experiences.

reply to post by Edrick
you obviously believe that your colleagues are conspiring against you to ruin any chance of a romantic relationship. What i would like to know is why do you think you are deserving of such special attention from these people?
You claim to have observed this in the work place, how about in the wider world? Is the whole country in on it or just your work colleagues?
If it is just your work colleagues then could you not try your luck with the ladies in a different social setting perhaps?

reply to post by johntherat

What i would like to know is why do you think you are deserving of such special attention from these people?

Well, many times, dissenting voices become targets of gang stalking by the powers that be, I would be assuming that this is the majority reason.

Although I DO have other theories, they are... shall we say, a bit far out there, and so, I will leave them out of this particular discussion.

You claim to have observed this in the work place, how about in the wider world? Is the whole country in on it or just your work colleagues?

Well, I cant really say whether the "Wider World" is in on it, as I honestly don't know. I haven't really been doing much traveling lately, ya know?



So, just the work colleges, and at that, Several places of employment.

If it is just your work colleagues then could you not try your luck with the ladies in a different social setting perhaps?

Honestly, I'm just trying to gather information about this subject, not really to "Get With" anybody...

I've never really been that popular with the ladies anyways, and I usually just steer clear of them because of that, which is why I found it so strange that people would be attempting to "Sabotage" my potential relationships....

Kinda Ironic, no?

LOL!

-Edrick

reply to post by Edrick


If this sort of thing was happening at work and in other places then i could see where you are coming from. If it only happens at work is it not more likely that someone at work has taken a dislike to you, for whatever reason, and decided to have their own twisted version of fun? They would really have to have a major grievance with someone to orchestrate such a campaign. Could you not try to engage members of the opposite sex outside of work to see if the same outcome results? Sorry about the layout of my post but i'm using my phone internet and it refuses to accept paragraphs.

reply to post by johntherat

If this sort of thing was happening at work and in other places then i could see where you are coming from. If it only happens at work is it not more likely that someone at work has taken a dislike to you, for whatever reason, and decided to have their own twisted version of fun? They would really have to have a major grievance with someone to orchestrate such a campaign. Could you not try to engage members of the opposite sex outside of work to see if the same outcome results? Sorry about the layout of my post but i'm using my phone internet and it refuses to accept paragraphs.

I have actually, although admittedly, not for awhile.... and same thing happens.

Anyways, the purpose of this thread is to allow others who have had similar experiences to post theirs here.

So, in that idiom.

Thank you for your cooperation.

-Edrick

This is possibly one of the most interesting insights i have come across into human psychology. Thanks OP and please continue speaking about your perspective so i, and others, can further understand such things

reply to post by sinohptik

This is possibly one of the most interesting insights i have come across into human psychology. Thanks OP and please continue speaking about your perspective so i, and others, can further understand such things

www.abovetopsecret.com...

-Edrick

reply to post by Edrick


I am sorry, but i completely fail to see why you replied with such a link.

I have already read the thread. Could you clarify?

reply to post by Edrick


Well I do know that before I was married it seemed like no one liked me, wanted to dance at the clubs, or showed to much interest in me. Than as soon as i got married all these EXTREMELY attractive men have tried to ask me out or get really flirty. I guess its a "I want what I can't have" syndrome

reply to post by Edrick


I have had this happen. It just happened after reading your posts. I was INSTANTLY turned off, from reading anymore.

You are rude and mean. That man just wrote 2K + words trying to follow your thread "rules" and you just totally lambasted him! I have been lurking here, because I have a friend that has since left this thread, due to how you treated him and anyone else with a logical post.

Let me break it down for you Edrick.. I fully expect that to be your real name by the way. Adigregorio & MMPI2 were right on the money. You are not conducting your experiment correctly...

First of all : You already believe that this is happening. How can you have a biased experiment with an obvious opinion already? You are not observing the experiment, you are injecting yourself into the experiment..

here comes my point... you ready? Edrick... You need more self esteem. Essentially, you need to obtain more "backbone" .. Women can see this..

I firmly believe that you are lying to us.. I believe that these girls becomes the object of your attention.. Then, you start chatting said girl.. While this chatting is taking place, you start envisioning an outcome between the 2 of you.. So, of course you center your attention on her.. This is when you start noticing other guys talking to her. These men have been talking to her the whole time.. You just hadn't focused on her enough to notice before your "experiment" .. (let me be clear, I think you are telling a little fib about the experiment) I think you have an interest in these girls.. But lack self confidence to "make a move" .. She isn't going to sit there forever awaiting Edrick to make a move.. In steps new guy!


The fact that you think this is gang stalking is the cause of this is disturbing at best..

So at 29 years old, the only reason you can come up with, that you have not had a relationship, is a gang stalking conspiracy. You should get some self help books and some self confidence books.

Where do you live? I can knock your "experiment" out of consideration in 2 nights .. I can help you.

I am in Michigan. Would you be willing to go through a training session? I can help you.

reply to post by Resurrectio


Well, the interesting thing here is that we see common errors of thought play out in real time.

Our OP clearly displays the phenomenon of CONFIRMATION BIAS in considering an AD HOC HYPOTHESIS.

An Ad Hoc hypothesis is one created to explain away facts that seem to refute one’s belief or theory. Ad hoc hypotheses are common in paranormal research and in the work of pseudoscientists.

Confirmation bias refers to a type of selective thinking whereby one tends to notice and to look for what confirms one's beliefs, and to ignore, not look for, or undervalue the relevance of what contradicts one's beliefs.

An interesting side effect that we also see played out here is COMMUNAL REINFORCEMENT:

Communal reinforcement is the process by which a claim becomes a strong belief through repeated assertion by members of a community. The process is independent of whether the claim has been properly researched or is supported by empirical data significant enough to warrant belief by reasonable people.

"Gang stalking" is, like other delusional and quasi-delusional cognitive structures, a creation borne out of at, best, poor self-esteem and, at worst, a mind plagued with a paranoid/narcissistic complex or a larger psychotic process. "Reasonable" people do not believe that large groups of others in their social network conspire to cause them defeat, and they certainly don't believe that they are being singled out for "social torture" through organized aggravation by perfect strangers. It does not compute.

A really sad part about the way this thread has played out is you see a complete refutation of any alternative explanations in a very primitively defended and brittle way, to the point that those that even gently offer simpler, more logical explanations are threatened with being "told on" to a mommy/moderator, or repeatedly invited to leave a free chat forum that is open to the public.

Another piece of this puzzle is seeing a possible solution to the described phenomenon ignored. A potential solution is not considered or is outright rejected because the delusion is so much more comfortable than reality.

In this case, it is more comfortable to believe that folks are conspiring in some way to "disrupt my relationships" than it is to believe that I have interpersonal deficits. The followers of the great psychoanalysit Milton Erikson would say that, for the hyper-neurotic patient, "the problem becomes the solution, and the solution becomes the problem." For the therapist, the challenge of course becomes how to transform the problem back into the problem, and the solution back into the solution.

For your consideration, I will end this post with the following (paraphrased) quotation:

"If all you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail and thus needs pounding (italics mine)."

reply to post by Resurrectio

First of all : You already believe that this is happening. How can you have a biased experiment with an obvious opinion already? You are not observing the experiment, you are injecting yourself into the experiment..

If you read the original post, you will see that you are quite mistaken, I didn't believe my friend at first, until I started really looking.

here comes my point... you ready? Edrick... You need more self esteem. Essentially, you need to obtain more "backbone" .. Women can see this..

How about you get out of this thread, stop bashing me like a Troll, And/Or Stick to the topic at hand instead of making this about me.

Your logical Fallacy is Ad Homenim: where the speaker posits a character attack AS an argument, because your position is WEAK.

PLEASE LEAVE.

-Edrick

reply to post by MMPI2

"Gang stalking" is, like other delusional and quasi-delusional cognitive structures, a creation borne out of at, best, poor self-esteem and, at worst, a mind plagued with a paranoid/narcissistic complex or a larger psychotic process.

Really? then why do we have Proof of such occurrences?

www.abovetopsecret.com...

Can you people just not Read, or something?

Quit with the ad homenims already, you have spoken your piece, and it was trite, uninspired, and quite mean.

PLEASE LEAVE.

-Edrick